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	SD! : Web boards : Service : "Worst personal ads "I'm a slave, but not a doormat!"" 1 2 3 4 5 6 Worst personal ads "I'm a slave, but not a doormat!" (57) 30 May 07, 9:21 PM submissiveheart US(NY), 2 yrs I agree with everything pretty much said but i would like to respectfully add that maybe there is another reason behind the "not a doormat" statement. Personally, objectification of intense kinds doesn't feel so humiliating to me because belonging to Sir, it has meaning. "Foot-rest? Ok! Glad to do it!" Hell, i've done wayyyy more than that and it shows my value to him and turns me on. However, what doesn't turn me nor any of my slave friends is when we are led down intense new paths of submission and usage and our needs are ignored or just by-passed. Slavery is HARD but being used hard isn't. It's just when you don't know your place in the M's life that it becomes unbearable feeling. I suspect that many on this board even in live-in situations who have been owned awhile have meltdowns or problems. It isn't a smooth path. But when the M is new to mastering someone and drops the ball, then it can feel like you are a door-mat. Like you're putting a lot in and getting little back. I think that those comments could come from *that* place. The people saying that have either seen it and are afraid of it or they've experienced it. Previously "submissiveheart" 30 May 07, 10:10 PM Barilicious 20 mths 902-660-194 wrote: What makes me a slave is not that i fit someone else's image of a slave or even my own - as long as i fit HIS image of what HE wants me to be, as long as i am His and i've been told that's forever. I like this statement. This is what is essential. Being very new to this entire lifestyle, I'm a little intimidated to post this, but from everything I've read so far on TSR, in books, etc. the dynamics of each individual relationship are different. It seems that a lot of people on this site want to attack the process and procedures of others in the life, when to me, looking at this as a societal taboo.. don't we make our own rules individually to begin with? Now arguably a slave is and should be whatever their Master requires of them... be it doormat, pillow or pet... but the phrase inherently points to wanting to keep one's individuality. I don't think the two need to exist separately. Living as a slave is not going to wipe out the person that existed prior to service. But as His_Chicklet said, he puts those headstrong qualities that don't belong in service, on the back burner. 30 May 07, 10:39 PM 410-594-950 US, 2 yrs i would have to agree with Sirs puppy and in perticular the first sentence here: "It's just when you don't know your place in the M's life that it becomes unbearable feeling. I suspect that many on this board even in live-in situations who have been owned awhile have meltdowns or problems. It isn't a smooth path. But when the M is new to mastering someone and drops the ball, then it can feel like you are a door-mat. Like you're putting a lot in and getting little back. I think that those comments could come from *that* place. " If you aren't willing to fulfill a Master/Mistress's expectations with a slave's heart, being fully committed to such, even being a doormat, then i believe you can't truly be a slave to a Master/Mistress that would ask this of a slave. Is it not true that a real slave doesn't have a will anymore, once enslaved? As stating that one isn't willing to be truly enslaved and treated as a doormat, then i agree with Master Sungmehetu. I think that one putting themselves out there as a slave, and then stating they won't be a doormat is truly only partially willing to serve, a true slave would fully give up his/her will to a Master and be their doormat if they had a slave heart. Anyhow, it seems there is so much complexity with what makes one a true slave/submissive, but then on the other there is true simplicity to it. One has to know what they truly want to be in order to fulfill it's purpose. pokey 31 May 07, 12:11 AM 554-362-101 24 mths Sirs_puppy wrote: I suspect that many on this board even in live-in situations who have been owned awhile have meltdowns or problems. *waves hand* I'd be one of those kind. And if I had a nickel for every time I've been told that Master and I aren't "true" because of those meltdowns or problems, I'd have a lot of nickels to give to Master. There was a time when I let those opinions color my world. Not anymore. His_kaya Under His Hand 31 May 07, 12:18 AM Global_Domination UK, 4 yrs Sungmehetu wrote: "I'm a slave, but not a doormat". What are your feelings about that statement, and Doms, What is Your feeling? To me it says "Looking for roleplay M/s only". It does seem to be a trend in many online "slave" profiles. I suppose it comes down to different definitions of what constitutes consensual slavery. To some, roleplay M/s is "slavery" - on their terms of course. To those who see it in more absolute terms, roleplay M/s bears no resemblance to what we strive for, as absolute Masters/Mistresses and slaves. It may also be a defence mechanism, for people contemplating taking one of the most radical steps a person can take, in terms of human relationships. I can completely understand the desire to cling to some measure of control - handing absolute control of your life to another is a huge step into the unknown, to say the least. Hopefully some of today's "not a doormat" slaves, will become tomorrow's "absolute" slaves, with time, patience and experience. ~ Service isn't dead, it's just on holiday... ~ Stillness is an illusion. Every single thing in the universe, is constantly in motion. 31 May 07, 12:57 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs TigerTroll wrote: Hopefully some of today's "not a doormat" slaves, will become tomorrow's "absolute" slaves, with time, patience and experience. Well, either that or they'll twig to the fact that they want/need what they want/need, there is no hierarchy of worthiness among different kinds of relationships, and they don't need to slam people with different relationships to validate their own. krista "My way or the highway" is the copout of a man who cannot master a girl, and so must demand that she master herself for him. "My way period, as easy or as hard as you want to make it" is an attitude much more appropriate to a man who has any real power over the woman he is speaking to. 31 May 07, 1:21 AM Errs_Tay 23 mths Perhaps this is not my place to say, but the way I see it, there are different types of slaves, too, going back to times when there was actual slavery. In the days of deep south slavery, there were house slaves and field slaves, if my history teachers are to be trusted (that is a real question, so feel free to correct me). If one were truly analytical, one could apply the statement "but not a doormat" to mean that one has specific talents that are superior to one's talents as a doormat or furniture piece or even that one would require extensive training to reach the level of servitude that one could be used as a doormat or furniture piece. I realise, however, that most "slaves" are not using that phrase in that manner, but it is a possibility for a minority of slaves posting such personals. Forgive me if I have tread somewhere I do not belong. Servitude is a choice for me. I choose who I serve and I do it happily. I have chosen who I want to serve. 31 May 07, 1:46 AM la_onda 2 yrs 410-594-950 wrote: Is it not true that a real slave doesn't have a will anymore, once enslaved? i'm not sure i agree with this statement. i think that "true" slaves can and do have wills of their own, but that they choose to submit their wills to the wills of their Owners. i'm still pretty new to this so i could be wrong, but it seems to me that the longer one is owned, the more the slave's will aligns with that of her/his Owner. i don't see that as the slave losing her/his own will, just a shift toward the slave's will being more closely aligned with the Owner's will. As to the "not a doormat" statement, that seems to come from those who are not owned, probably never have been owned, and have never felt the incredible, sweet freedom that comes from surrendering one's will to One who is worthy of that level of trust. It saddens me that they are unwilling to let go of their preconceived notions of what "service" is and put limits in place, instead of simply giving what a Master/Mistress wants from them, serving any way an Owner sees fit, even if that means being a literal doormat sometimes. They'll never know what they are missing. la onda[D] 31 May 07, 2:16 AM slave_emma US(OK), 2 yrs i find reading personal ads funny in general and this opening line is no different. When i hear the line,"i'm not a doormat." It makes me think that the slave or submissive is wanting a life more than being a toy for sexual pleasure. his or his interest may include other areas, like servitude. They may also have children that they want to keep sheltered from the lifestyle. One thing to keep in mind is that when reading a personal ad is a very small clue to the personality of the given person. Each slave has a different personality, as does each Master, so the purpose of a personals ad should be to give you insight into the person that they are. i have noticed though that personal ads on lifestyle sites, that they generally include very little content about the actual person. Most of the profiles are about every sexual kink they could ever imagine, but nothing beyond that. i remember when i was searching for a Dominant. It was a pain and sometimes irritating to sift through all the cyberdoms and other less than desirable options. One time i came across a man who wanted all my information including my credit card numbers on the first email. There was always the emails from men who's opening line was, "kneel bitch." With the poor behavior of some Dominants and Masters in mind it is easier for me to understand why someone, although inapporiately, might have demanding parts of their profile or personals ad. In the slave's mind they are trying to weed out the Dominants or Masters that are not a good match for them. The problem is that they are also weeding out Dominants and Masters who could be a good match, but overlook their profile because the slave has an attitude. Oh well, "To each their own," would probably be the best response. best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 31 May 07, 2:36 AM Rolling_Wildheart US(AZ), 2 yrs To play Devil's Advocate, it very well could be, in some cases anyway, that what the potential slave is saying by saying that they aren't a doormat is that they have a desire to submit to one person, but that they don't submit to everyone. To My way of thinking, a true doormat is someone who allows themselves to get steamrolled by everyone. Slaves, on the other hand, tend to be assertive in other aspects of life but submit their will totally to their Master/Mistress. Wildheart I love you things I see/As much as you love me/You things are heavenly/When you come worship me/You things are chilled with fright/For I am out tonight/You fill me with delight/You whet my appetite. - Alice Cooper Next page