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	SD! : Web boards : Service : "Worst personal ads "I'm a slave, but not a doormat!"" 1 2 3 4 5 6 Worst personal ads "I'm a slave, but not a doormat!" (57) 31 May 07, 2:43 AM iinarihoudai US, 20 mths little_linnet wrote: I hate the doormat shit. You know what I think is the #1 purpose that it serves? It's a context for "slaves" and submissives who have no desire for anything but limited submission, to feel superior to submissives and literal slaves who are focused on complete obedience and/or powerlessness. What about a slave who doesn't want to be a mindless drone? A doormat is walked all over and no one gives it a second thought until it gets too dirty. Then it's just tossed in the washer and put right back. Or it gets tossed out and replaced. I wouldn't want to live life like that. On the ad thing, I think it's silly to advertize that you are a slave. How can you be a slave if there is no one for you to be a slave to? Edit: That is my thinking too Rolling Wildheart. The word choice is poor though. iinarihoudai "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Jesus Christ, Hebrews 11:1 www.livejournal.com/users/dannasamanoiiko Edited 31 May 07, 2:47 AM by iinarihoudai 31 May 07, 3:02 AM 455-162-329 US(NY), 21 mths I am not a doormat (for just anyone) would certainly clarify things. ~Magdalena 31 May 07, 3:09 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs iinarihoudai wrote: What about a slave who doesn't want to be a mindless drone? The problem is that the "doormat" label is almost always applied in a derogatory way, by voluntary or play-only submissives to literal slaves (and to submissives who engage in power exchange involving high degrees of selflessness and obedience). The implication is clear, with this usage, that unless a person limits their submission to somewhere around the average for the BDSM scene, they are a doormat. Or, as you say, a mindless drone. Krista "My way or the highway" is the copout of a man who cannot master a girl, and so must demand that she master herself for him. "My way period, as easy or as hard as you want to make it" is an attitude much more appropriate to a man who has any real power over the woman he is speaking to. 31 May 07, 3:41 AM 455-162-329 US(NY), 21 mths little_linnet wrote: iinarihoudai wrote: What about a slave who doesn't want to be a mindless drone? The problem is that the "doormat" label is almost always applied in a derogatory way, by voluntary or play-only submissives to literal slaves (and to submissives who engage in power exchange involving high degrees of selflessness and obedience). The implication is clear, with this usage, that unless a person limits their submission to somewhere around the average for the BDSM scene, they are a doormat. Or, as you say, a mindless drone. Krista Hmmm I did not think of it that way. Thanks for clarifying. I don't have any experience in the greater BDSM world so didn't even know that was an insult. Meanies. ~Magdalena 31 May 07, 3:53 AM mercedes_bends AU, 20 mths What an interesting thread. i identify myself as a submissive rather than a slave as i do not reside with my Master and i have many independent aspects in my life, including career and family. And, yes i refer to Him as Master .... that is someting that has developed over time and felt like a natural progession as our relationship developed. i suppose what struck me when i read His advert for the first time was the words 'doormats are of little interest' At the time i didnt really "get" what He meant by that, but over time i realise that in this context my Master was seeking a strong, independently thinking and assertive sub/slut in most aspects of her life with the exception of submitting to His will and meeting His needs. mercedes, owned property of Janus 31 May 07, 3:59 AM hetaera 21 mths Sungmehetu wrote: This is a sentance that I find completely and totally ironic. "I am a slave, but not a doormat!" I have seen this sentance at the end of numerous personals all over the net. This sentance tells me that the author of said personal ad, has NO idea what a slave is! *snip* I really want to hear from the true slaves here. "I'm a slave, but not a doormat". What are your feelings about that statement, and Doms, What is Your feeling? Best regards, Coyote in Oregon Sungmehetu Here are a few snips from hetaera's personal ad from another web site. This girl believes her term "doormat" is well used. I am a mature woman in her 40's new to this lifestyle, wholeheartedly submissive, an incomparable slut if released... I would love to find a Dominant man I can serve well in a long term relationship. I am intelligent, well spoken and not a door mat - meaning in the figurative sense, this girl deserves to be treated with care and respect. If you have visions of raping me and forcing your cock down my throat, Great - please be prepared to get to know me first as I am looking for a man who will touch my mind as well as my body. What excites me is making my man happy - it is as simple as that for me provided we share the same interests and I have trust in you. My Ideal Person: My ideal Dominant is a strong confident MAN with character, who will stand up for his principles and to me if need be. He will respect my boundaries completely and not attempt to bully me into something I'm not ready to do by telling me I am not truly a submissive. He is a man who understands I have to be strong in my principles now so I can have full confidence and trust in him later, when he is in full control of all that is me. If I don't have faith in Him, I will not let go to be the submissive I need to be, so as to be a complete and ultimately fulfilled woman - and He a contented, well serviced & fulfilled Dominant Man - a Master. Perhaps the word "doormat" is only appropriate to use when searching for the right Master, and not during the relationship. Given the context of the OP's post, hetaera believes it is a fair word to use, particularly after having been out on a few dates with some very disrespectful, unworthy poseur "Masters". She can only be a doormat to a Master she trusts, or to whom her Master trusts - otherwise she'd be nothing special to Master. ~MindMasterLA's hetaera~ "On the whole sex is less confusing than love, lust is less confusing than sex, and chocolate is less confusing than any of them... Chocolate is by far the safest bet in every respect, but sex is by far the most interesting." Jacky Fleming 31 May 07, 4:06 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs Another thought: where ARE these doormats they're going on about? Obviously there are people posing as dominants (the "kneel bitch!" brigade) who expect submissive women to be doormats for them. (Has anyone noticed that describing themselves as "not a doormat" has kept these guys away? Anybody? Bueller?) I've never seen a single submissive, one who is actively seeking a dominant or active in the BDSM or ownership subculture, not a single one, who I would describe as a doormat. Not one. That's not saying it's impossible for them to exist, of course, but I think it says something about how frequently they occur. In contrast, discussions about submission reliably bring up the "doormat" thing, constantly, to the point where you'd think the Scene was, well, carpeted with them. What does exist, though, maybe not as plentifully as the mythical doormat, but in fairly good numbers, are those of us who choose not to seek a life with limits on our submission, and who choose to challenge the experience of surrendering choices and ego and the validation of the BDSM scene for our submission and our relationships. WE are what people in the general BDSM scene refer to as doormats. They're talking about us. And, they are doing it in a way that props up a precious illusion -- the illusion that there's nothing between Scene submission, and being a useless, unhealthy, unintelligent doormat. Krista "My way or the highway" is the copout of a man who cannot master a girl, and so must demand that she master herself for him. "My way period, as easy or as hard as you want to make it" is an attitude much more appropriate to a man who has any real power over the woman he is speaking to. Edited 31 May 07, 4:08 AM by little_linnet 31 May 07, 7:59 AM 000-793-022 UK, 4 yrs little_linnet wrote: iinarihoudai wrote: What about a slave who doesn't want to be a mindless drone? The problem is that the "doormat" label is almost always applied in a derogatory way, by voluntary or play-only submissives to literal slaves (and to submissives who engage in power exchange involving high degrees of selflessness and obedience). The implication is clear, with this usage, that unless a person limits their submission to somewhere around the average for the BDSM scene, they are a doormat. Or, as you say, a mindless drone. Krista I don't think that this is accurate. In my experience the term "doormat" is used mostly by people against themselves, *not* against slaves. It is mostly recognised that there is a huge difference between a "doormat" and a "slave". That is the point of stating "i am not a doormat". The term isn't a slur against those who are selfless and obedient, nor is it generally used in its literal term. Most of the replies to this thread have been, i think, from Americans and maybe the nuances of this word's usage aren't so well-known across the pond. Being a doormat is usually associated with having so little self-esteem and self-worth that the person will simply "put up" with anything because they don't feel that they deserve anything better. It's a term used as much in nilla life as it is within M/s. When used in this context it seems quite acceptable to me that a person would want to make it known that they are *not* such a person. It also seems to me that there is something of a double standard going on here: nobody so much as blinks when a Master defines the type of slave he wants, but should a slave dare to define her wishes in a Master suddenly she is not a real slave. We enter into this from a basis of informed consent and choice; the choices we have as unowned people include the choice of who we submit to. 31 May 07, 9:35 AM 357-137-289 US, 2 yrs Y! Best thread i've read so far.... SCENE: A warm Twin Cities house in Minnesota, on a really cold, snowy night. A slave, lies prone face down on a bearskin rug. The slave has a piece of astroturf from the original Metrodome on it's back. The slave is lying 3 feet from the entrance to the house, tied in rigid bondage. As the guests enter, one and all wipe their boots, shoes, galoshes, and whatever they are wearing on the doormat in front of them. DOORMAT?!!!...Up there it would be an honor.... While the ad would have caught the eye of a Minnesota Dom/me, they would have released any idea that this 'slave' would be worthwhile. W/we all NEED doormats up there. Just a thought on "CATCH & RELEASE" mentality. Try it at your next party! A picture is worth a ten thousand laughs 357-137-289 slave@webbittown.net 31 May 07, 10:59 AM isouda 3 yrs 000-793-022 wrote: I don't think that this is accurate. In my experience the term "doormat" is used mostly by people against themselves, *not* against slaves. It is mostly recognised that there is a huge difference between a "doormat" and a "slave". That is the point of stating "i am not a doormat". The term isn't a slur against those who are selfless and obedient, nor is it generally used in its literal term. Most of the replies to this thread have been, i think, from Americans and maybe the nuances of this word's usage aren't so well-known across the pond. Being a doormat is usually associated with having so little self-esteem and self-worth that the person will simply "put up" with anything because they don't feel that they deserve anything better. It's a term used as much in nilla life as it is within M/s. This is of course another interpretation of the word. I do think however that people need to clarify their own use of the word to avoid misunderstandings. I am in the UK and have been told that I am neither sub nor slave, merely a doormat because of my obedience to Mike. issy Try the brand spanking new free to use auction site www.fetbid.com Next page