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	SD! : Web boards : Service : "Worst personal ads "I'm a slave, but not a doormat!"" 1 2 3 4 5 6 Worst personal ads "I'm a slave, but not a doormat!" (57) 19 Jun 07, 7:44 PM Pierced_Knight UK, 2 yrs £ tangie wrote: I've never understood how someone could say they are unowned, never been owned, yet are a slave. When written within the context of a TSR profile, I think that this statement is very useful in guaging a person's intent. For someone to say that they are a slave that is unowned and has never been owned, shows (to Me) that they wish to live the life of M/s but have not yet had the chance. What alternative does someone have to explain who and what they are/desire? To say that they are a single submissive, I believe, would advertise a slightly different outlook. Regards, Pierced Knight. Educate to Liberate! Liberation through Education 19 Jun 07, 9:16 PM tangie US(MI), 6 yrs Pierced_Knight wrote: [To say that they are a single submissive, I believe, would advertise a slightly different outlook. Regards, Pierced Knight. I understand, but have a problem accepting this, personally. To me, slaves by nature are submissive. I don't see submissives as a separate category (and am tip-toeing past the slave vs. sub debate, hopefully it will continue sleeping ). Anyway, I understand the intent of one who says he/she is a slave though never owned is to send the message that they wish to be enslaved, but somehow that seems backwards to me. I wish to be a flamenco dancer, but without ever having a lesson, practice or even seeing one performed real life, how can I say I *am* one? But you know, that's just my own quirk, and I realize that others probably see it differently (and do). I can accept that . Barbara edited to add: I understand having a slave nature, a slave heart, an outlook that would lead one to think that one could be enslaved. Just not saying I *am* a slave. It's not all that hard to say that; rather than I am a slave, to say I seek enslavement. Becoming as opposed to being. Learning is not childs play; there can be no growth without pain~ Aristotle Edited 19 Jun 07, 9:21 PM by tangie 19 Jun 07, 9:36 PM Pierced_Knight UK, 2 yrs £ tangie wrote: I understand having a slave nature, a slave heart... tangie wrote: ...Becoming as opposed to being. I don't argue with anything you say, this is just another case of semantics and personal perception. My only point is that if you do have a slave nature and a slave heart then you are *being* a slave but have not *become* enslaved. For somebody who studies language, I have always found launguage very frustrating! Regards, Pierced Knight. Educate to Liberate! Liberation through Education 18 Jul 07, 4:33 AM 975-173-980 US, 2 yrs Y! Rolling_Wildheart wrote: To play Devil's Advocate, it very well could be, in some cases anyway, that what the potential slave is saying by saying that they aren't a doormat is that they have a desire to submit to one person, but that they don't submit to everyone. To My way of thinking, a true doormat is someone who allows themselves to get steamrolled by everyone. Slaves, on the other hand, tend to be assertive in other aspects of life but submit their will totally to their Master/Mistress. Wildheart given my general nature, i try and see both sides of the story/debate and understand all opinions. i can fully appreciate where everyone is coming from when they say that these slaves are not slaves at all. but at the same time i see Wildheart's point too...and several others who have played "Devil's Advocate." And sitting here thinking about everyone's responses...i can see how much i have changed and grown in my Master's care. when Master and i first met and i became His sub (along with helping me discover it) it was somewhat pounding into my head that i was not a doormat (one misconception i had about the lifestyle). Master told me that He didn't want someone to walk over and always replied with a "Yes Master, thank You Master, whatever pleases You Master." While He does want that sometimes, He doesn't want it all the time. He sees true slaves and serious submissives as intelligent creatures and values it. He wants someone, when He is in the mood for it, to be able to talk with and debate with. But at the same time He expects (and commands) immediate obedience and inspires submission from me. And listening to the debates going on here i find i am more and more i am blossoming into my slave side from my submissive side, and how big that change is. i do obey Master immediately, and ask for help if i am having problems with a task....but in no way have i lost my personality or been trod upon relentlessly. i have been blessed with my Master because i am finding my personality is actually blossoming and i am a stronger person in my everyday life than before. am i doormat? if commanded to be, yes....i would be for Master. am i a mindless zombie that can't think for herself? nope. i love my submission and how Master has encouraged it. but that is my humble opinion on the matter. a doormat implies someone who doesn't want to think or care about what they do. as slaves (and most of the subs i have met) care very deeply about what we do and how we serve our Masters and the pleasure we give. slave amber 20 Jul 07, 10:09 AM Eagles_uber US, 22 mths Y! "I am a slave, but I am not a doormat." I am gaining a better understanding of what I perceive this statement to mean. There has been a lot of discussion on the boards lately about the pros and cons of poly and sharing, with many viewpoints being that, by becoming enslaved, you become a "possession," and the way that this term is being used, implies, to me, that you are reduced to the level of a "thing." Because I surrender myself to my Master, that does not make me less than human, and it does not make me inferior in any way. I remain a thinking, feeling woman, with intense and powerful emotions, with important thoughts, valued by my Master. So, I think, in making a statement such as the one in question, what is being said, is that the woman is seeking more than voluntary submission, she is seeking a deep and complete relationship of surrender, but that she still wants to matter, to be important, to be cherished, to be loved even, and not to have her fears and concerns dismissed as being irrelevant. To be a slave, to be owned, heart and mind, body and soul, does not negate your humanity, or your womanhood, but, in my opinion, enhances both. It takes incredible strength to surrender yourself to another. Personally, I can only embrace pure submission, unconditional surrender, and utter enslavement, due to being involved in a deeply committed relationship of total trust, mutual respect, and complete security. No doubts. Such is the power of our connection, as Master and slave. But, I will never be a "doormat," something that I compare to the vanilla marriage, where the husband beats his wife and cheats on her, but she comes back every time, like a whipped dog, with no self respect. Just my opinion. I do not understand the slaves who claim that they would never leave their Masters, no matter how miserable they become, no matter how little they are considered. How can a Master, who would treat his property with so little regard, remain worthy of the services and affections of a loyal and faithful slave? Why subject yourself to such abuse? I give all of myself to my Master, because he deserves me, because he accepts me, knows me, and understands me, because he loves me such as no other ever has, and because he gives me so very much of himself in return. "My loving sadist, with savage tenderness~ Ravages my body, and plunders my resistance~ As I willingly surrender my control~ Blind to the world, yet He sees all of me~ Heart and mind, body and soul, I am His" 11 Sep 08, 4:47 PM Sungmehetu US(OR), 2 yrs Y! hetaera wrote: "He is a man who understands I have to be strong in my principles now so I can have full confidence and trust in him later, when he is in full control of all that is me. If I don't have faith in Him, I will not let go to be the submissive I need to be, so as to be a complete and ultimately fulfilled woman - and He a contented, well serviced & fulfilled Dominant Man - a Master" Um no that is at best- A 1950's Husband. He marries a good solid wife. She hen pecks Him for the rest of His life. Then converts to the wifes religion. Not a Master. Yes pokey is mine. So is brie. Since I posted this topic I gained a slave. I will make her work, I will her give her a life, I will see to it she scrubs doormats. But guess what? brie will tell you she isn't a doormat. She will be used. She's not a doormat. I will work her hard. She'll still tell you she's not a doormat. Why? She's A REAL Lifestyler, and WANTS to be a slave. (plus she and pokey get to go dancing on saturday nights.) What you all thought I was heartless? This was my point from the beginning. Michael, pokey n brie Edited 11 Sep 08, 5:02 PM by Sungmehetu 11 Sep 08, 5:13 PM cipherx US, 19 mths It is quite simple. A true slave is property. Property has no rights. Since true slavery is illegal in this country, ther can be no true slaves. One can offer to act as property if one desires. The the extent that limits are places on the property owner is the amount that one in not really property. Requiring limits on use is the difference between being a submissinve and being property. The bottom line is that it is a matter of labels and definitions. Any way that two or more people can get together with those who want similar things is okay. If one is offended by a profile or desires, just pass it by. Concentrate on what is right for you and let others be concerned about what they want or need. Just for the record, it is really a very igorant statement but who should care? 11 Sep 08, 6:08 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths Do you two realise you're talking to and arguing with people who posted over a year ago and are no longer here? <grins> It's an interesting discussion, if an old one, though we seem to have fallen straight into one of the same old heffalump traps rather quickly. On a site such as SD! one really should avoid definitive statements on what is true and real and what people can and cannot do... if only in the interests of tolerance, openmindedness and politeness to other members. There ARE people who live in real-time, 24/7 Master/slave relationships and this forum was actually created to give them a place to be and to share and discuss with others in the same situation. So to pronounce that, because it's not possible legally to be a slave, they don't exist is quite likely to be offensive to some. We DO call ourselves slaves, we mean it and we have a reasonably well developed understanding of what we mean by it. The definition of slave we agree upon and accept in discussion here is the wiki one... A person who is owned: that is, someone in a relationship with an owner who has ultimate authority over them, and from which the slave cannot remove themselves. One of the key differences between the usage of the word "slave" in the Ownership Subculture and the BDSM Play Scene is the concept of slaves being literal slaves: this is just the everyday definition of "slave" and it doesn't include the roleplay slaves you sometimes meet elsewhere in BDSM. For example, the second edition of the Oxford English Dictionary gives: "One who is the property of, and entirely subject to another person, whether by capture, purchase or birth; a servant completely divested of freedom and personal rights." Contrast this definition with ongoing voluntary submission. (There are other useful bits and bobs in the wiki too that will avoid this kind of faux pas.) We who choose M/s as a way of life and agree to it for life are not fantasists or idiots, we live in the real world, but we take our commitments and promises seriously and our submission or slavery (and lets say for instance in my case the inability to leave or choose to end the relationship) as a matter of honour. Please mind how you can easily trample others' sincere intentions and beliefs underfoot on this site by careless words and lack of reading. For more information on what we mean by IE and enslavement, try the links to Tanos's other site... http://www.enslavement.org.uk/ There are excellent resources here and there is a core of people in M/s relationships who are seemingly forever here and willing to help. They are the site's real treasure if you need to share and learn with others who understand because we have to accept that we're a minority within a minority and even in the bdsm world are not well understood. I hope you'll find that for yourself and of course continue to read and share. Enjoy and thanks. anjuli Edited to add... when you say 'in this country' it does also somewhat ignore the fact we're actually on a UK hosted website so... shall we agree on neutral cyber space and ditch the geography... so that everyone here is included? ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ Edited 11 Sep 08, 11:39 PM by anjuli 11 Sep 08, 7:43 PM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs Sungmehetu wrote: Worst personal ads "I'm a slave, but not a doormat!" This is a sentance that I find completely and totally ironic. "I am a slave, but not a doormat!" I have seen this sentance at the end of numerous personals all over the net. This sentance tells me that the author of said personal ad, has NO idea what a slave is! If the ad said.."I'm a loyal subbie, but not a doormat.' I'd have no issue with THAT statement. That plainly says that this woman or man wants to maintain control of his/her will, but is willing to serve. In slavery, the slave is whatever is expected of them! Be it a footstool, a horse to plow fields, a dog that isn't to speak, but intead growl and bark, or ...god forbid, a damned carpet, For the Owner to wipe His/Her feet on! Yes, if you choose to be a slave you might become a TOILET! Don't claim to be a slave and then expect to be pampered!! If you want a romantic relationship, don't put your ad on a LIFESTYLE site! If you want a Master/Mistress that will treat you well, and listen to you daily, um...that's not slavery, that is submissiveness, and it still borders on a romance, unless you find yourself doing dishes while your favorite show is on. If the Master is anything like Me...he tapes it...If you do well I give you the tape. If not, I record history channel over it. I really want to hear from the true slaves here. "I'm a slave, but not a doormat". What are your feelings about that statement, and Doms, What is Your feeling? Best regards, Coyote in Oregon Sungmehetu First let me say i know i've already posted on this - but this is my thoughts on it after having time to think about it more. Second, let me say to the OP congratulations on attaining brie as well as pokey. Third, let me say that i see no harm posting to an old thread and F/folks no longer here as O/one is responding to the ideas and not the person. Personally, i'm glad to see this revived as it is and was a fascinating subject. Okay, i've used those words but in a different context - what i meant when i said it was i am a slave (to my then-alive late Master) but not a door-mat - i.e. i dont submit to just every would-be dom or "vanilla" playing mind-games with me due to my lifestyle choice. However in the context you seem to be describing - a personal ad - i'm not sure what it woulld mean. i have heard a lot of slaves say this in the context i've described above, but would have to see the whole personal ad in questioon. If the person is saying i'm a slave but unwilling to be a doormat for my Owner or A/anyone else that One would have me serve, i'd question it and wonder if maybe they're more of a bottom than a sub or certainly a slave. Unless they are looking for an M/s situation with certain pre-arranged agreements on what consensual limits might be in place beforehand as in the contracts some negotiate. One thing does come to me is that while my late Master was alive, even when i was first collared and still fairly healthy as compared to now, there were limitations PHYSICALLY on what i could do, due to the spinal deterioration already in progress. i could not safely be a literal "doormat" to my Master, much as i might want to be. i could only even kneel for a brief time without great pain - and i really hated that because i used to love to kneel with my head on His feet while He was at the computer. i think that's why He wasn't much into doing formal Sadism on me, because in the shape i was in just standing for 5 minutes was pain enough. But i don't think from what you're saying this is what the ad means. i must say that i don't think that romance belongs in every M/s relationship, but there was plenty in O/ours and i've seen S/some O/others who have that dynamic. For S/some it's right, but not for O/others true - but it can be there in S/some cases and was so in my experience. However i've heard that in relationships heavy on the B & D aspects and even moreso in those emphasizing the S & M aspects that sometimes having fallen in love an Owner believes that to maintain the dynamic They must be even harder on Their slave. Not being an Owner or into those part of Lifestyle as much as in the D & s with my Master, for whom it was more of a psychological dominance - maybe due mostly to both of U/us being older than the average around here and both also physically seriously disabled - i really can't say if that would have been true for U/us had W/we been more into those aspects of M/s 24/7, real-time and BDSM/RACK in general. Just some thoughts - but that is pretty much what it meant to me and does mean, i am and still consider myself to be, due to His requirements, my late-Master's slave; however, i am not a door-mat for just A/anyone to walk on - only HIm. But i can't say in said ad, without seeing it - except to say it does sound odd and perhaps innapropriate. Good to see You here, HI to You - and if You permit it - yours. j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin Edited 11 Sep 08, 7:58 PM by 662-935-655 12 Sep 08, 12:00 AM TaintedDesire 4 yrs To me the phrase 'I am not a doormat' means that she has a mind off her own, has opinions of her own and will not just follow blindly any order given. To me that's a good thing, it shows she is an intelligent, capable and strong women, one who when she surrenders she surrenders herself totally but only to one, and that he is stronger than she in both mind and body. Now in my eyes, that is a slave worth owning, much better than a yes Sir, no Sir three bags full kindda girl. I tink that would get mightly boring after a while. And just outta interest what is a truuuuu slave? Methinks you is talking codswallop. I have been owned twice, my first for three years my second still ongoing, and they will agree that I am slave, both in heart, mind, body and soul, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna lay down and let you wipe your shit on me, I'm human first. Nothing wrong with having to earn your food, makes the taking all that sweeter... td 'I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.' Edited 12 Sep 08, 12:11 AM by TaintedDesire Next page