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	SD! : Web boards : Submission : "When it comes to what I want" 1 2 When it comes to what I want (19) Mon 29 Oct 07, 11:27 PM 524-210-982 24 mths I've been sitting here for the past few hours thinking about what it is that I want. I'd toyed with the idea of before, never really thought about it so much but as I got older I started to realise that I was never going to get what it was that I wanted, unless I admitted to wanting it. Sometimes I think I'm being too picky, then I realise that I want to be happy. That if I'm not happy in a situation then I'm not going to be responding correctly. I want a strong relationship. I want to love and be loved. I want to know that I am as important to my owner as he is to me. My happiness is still important - Yes, I want to make my owner happy but if I'm not happy then I won't be able to do that. I don't want to be one of many, I want to be the only one. I want to say "He is MY owner" just as much as I want to say "I am HIS slave". I want somebody who is patient with me, who plays the role of a teacher at times. I want to be respected too. I don't want to be treated badly -- What I mean by that is I dont want somebody who would punish me just because he knows he can get away with it. There is a time and a place for such things. Then there are things I just won't do. Other people might do them, that's their choice. I would never be bald for anyone. It just doesn't appeal to me, I like my hair and I don't imagine being happy without it. Modificatons? I wouldn't get things done that couldn't be undone. My body should be important to my owner, after all it belongs to him. A collar appeals to me. I'd want to wear it with pride, not hide it away. I'd want that to be a special day, not just have a collar thrown at me and be told to wear it. It's a gift, a very special gift. I could never be happy submitting to somebody I know that I am stronger than. I have this dream-like image of what my owner would be like. And in some ways he is my protector. I don't want the sort who can go both ways, sub at times, dom at others -- I want to know he is always going to be there for me, to be the strong one, to be the protector, to be the one who is ALWAYS in control. Yet at times I would feel the need to test this. It comes off as an attempt to dominate, but it's just my way of checking he is still able to take the reigns and keep control. I think that sums up what I want. Whether or not I will ever find the sort of owner I am looking for is unknown. 29 Oct 07, 11:36 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths Perfectly good exercise to do and one I think is vital. How can you find what you need if you don't know what it is. Now you know what you want, you should be able to know it when you see it, as it were! The very very best of luck in finding him now. anjuli ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *** Noli me tangere, for Caesar's I am. *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1 Nov 07, 6:30 AM Eagles_uber US, 22 mths Y! Keep looking, and don't give up! You perfectly described my Master. I was looking for the exact same things that you are, and I found my perfectly suited ideal Master, so you can too! Good luck, and don't settle for less than what you want and need and deserve. You ARE worth it! "uber fell ~ The well was deep ~ The fall was long ~ The way was dark ~ but Master was light ~ and uber was color ~ so together, they flew as one ~ and after they merged ~ They did not look back" 1 Nov 07, 5:45 PM jakesemma US(WA), 15 mths Y! 524-210-982 wrote: When it comes to what I want I've been sitting here for the past few hours thinking about what it is that I want. I'd toyed with the idea of before, never really thought about it so much but as I got older I started to realise that I was never going to get what it was that I wanted, unless I admitted to wanting it. Sometimes I think I'm being too picky, then I realise that I want to be happy. That if I'm not happy in a situation then I'm not going to be responding correctly. I want a strong relationship. I want to love and be loved. I want to know that I am as important to my owner as he is to me. My happiness is still important - Yes, I want to make my owner happy but if I'm not happy then I won't be able to do that. I don't want to be one of many, I want to be the only one. I want to say "He is MY owner" just as much as I want to say "I am HIS slave". I want somebody who is patient with me, who plays the role of a teacher at times. I want to be respected too. I don't want to be treated badly -- What I mean by that is I dont want somebody who would punish me just because he knows he can get away with it. There is a time and a place for such things. Then there are things I just won't do. Other people might do them, that's their choice. I would never be bald for anyone. It just doesn't appeal to me, I like my hair and I don't imagine being happy without it. Modificatons? I wouldn't get things done that couldn't be undone. My body should be important to my owner, after all it belongs to him. A collar appeals to me. I'd want to wear it with pride, not hide it away. I'd want that to be a special day, not just have a collar thrown at me and be told to wear it. It's a gift, a very special gift. I could never be happy submitting to somebody I know that I am stronger than. I have this dream-like image of what my owner would be like. And in some ways he is my protector. I don't want the sort who can go both ways, sub at times, dom at others -- I want to know he is always going to be there for me, to be the strong one, to be the protector, to be the one who is ALWAYS in control. Yet at times I would feel the need to test this. It comes off as an attempt to dominate, but it's just my way of checking he is still able to take the reigns and keep control. I think that sums up what I want. Whether or not I will ever find the sort of owner I am looking for is unknown. This sounds like what this girl wanted, and waited for and finally found with her Master (and husband/father of our children.) It is possible, don't give up and don't settle for less then what you want... this girl was told fairy tale romances and "tall dark and handsome" men didn't exist... well she found her prince charming. Her king, her Lord, her Owner, her Teacher, her therapist, her Master. he is all that and more. This girl wanted the kind of "man" she read about in the romance novels, where he'd grab her hair and kiss her hard, throw her up against the wall and press into her, and dominant her as her Alpha... This girl was told by her family not to be a stupid girl. -- this girl wouldn't be happy with out that type of relationship and this girl made sure she got it! 11 Jul 08, 6:17 AM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 3 yrs Y! Is this the personal ads section? I am a bit perplexed by exactly how well-disguised this particular personal ad is. But, it still seems to be just that. Sorry if it's not how it was intended. Lord Laraby 12 Jul 08, 2:35 AM Kookers 7 mths I can relate to this really well. I have found that when i begin a D/s relationship I find myself testing my Domme frequently. I agree that I need to know she's stronger as well. It's kinda testing boundaries in a way too. But the thing is I'll only really be fulfilled if she's strong enough to make it solely about her, despite my fighting it at first. It makes it hard but at the same time I think it makes the shared bond and my submission stronger once I feel truly safe and subordinate. Just my two cents. Kait "Submission is a gift earned through trust. Dominance is a responsibility that may hurt, but never harms that gift." 16 Jul 08, 5:57 PM ColdHarbour UK, 14 mths Y! 597-866-048 wrote: the idea of getting what i want does not seem possible ... So you know what you want? Exactly? Damn! I'm out of a job ... again! With respect, I suspect you know only what you think you want. And that, in my view, is the difference between slave and submissive. A submissive thinks they are right and doesn't need a Master. They just need a talented hooker to deliver. A slave, on the other hand, just says "here i am — a block of stone waiting to be transformed into a sculpture". There is no want required in that beyond the want to be taken. You cannot run away from what is inside you — African proverb 16 Jul 08, 6:32 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths ColdHarbour wrote: So you know what you want? Exactly? Damn! I'm out of a job ... again! With respect, I suspect you know only what you think you want. And that, in my view, is the difference between slave and submissive. A submissive thinks they are right and doesn't need a Master. They just need a talented hooker to deliver. A slave, on the other hand, just says "here i am — a block of stone waiting to be transformed into a sculpture". There is no want required in that beyond the want to be taken. Oooh... how interesting! And just when I was pondering this thread since it's ressurection, and some questions someone had put to me, in relation to discussing how to find and be sure you've found the D/M you're looking for! Isn't that lazy? Here I am. Take me! Mould me! And a tad unrealistic? I understand where you're coming from and I think you're deliberately provoking discussion (of just the sort we all love of course! Thank you!) by being a touch controversial. And I do have to bite! Surely it's human nature to want and to wonder about what you need and want - even for slaves. And whilst it could be lovely to be able to take the 'take me!' route (for both sides) would that not mean it would be impossible for you to find what you want - unless of course you want a block of stone with no past, no thoughts, no desires? How would you know? How can you have a personality with no ego, no desires and no thought for the future? How would she have gotten as far as presenting herself at all without those thoughts? How would that give you the buzz you need at having her submit? My own experience is starting to tell me that we're strong us submissive women. Many are intelligent and thoughtful. But our very strength often leads us into other roads in life and we come to realise our submission and acknowledge it a tad reluctantly because of the expectations that have always been trained into us. I am guessing that this might change now that the internet makes earlier learning so much easier but I think that still stands for the moment. Speaking for myself, I came to it late. I'd somehow got stuck in living as and living up to the strong, independent woman role - and I was pretty darned good at it too except that it was killing me by inches - and by the gods was it ever hard to break out. I had to smash the joint that was my life essentially, business, marriage, house, the lot, but break out I did. And I am fully convinced that learning first and knowing what I wanted helped me find J. HE was the one who knew I was destined to be his slave and perhaps yes from that point he took me from what I thought I wanted to what he wanted and knew I needed. Not quite sure how that happened actually <grin> but next thing I was collared and a slave rather than the sub to my Dom I had imagined was my goal. I guess my view runs along the lines of, 'when the pupil is ready, the master will come'? Does that make no sense to you? Anyway, fascinating idea. I'm still chewing it over but want to see if I can draw you out on it a bit more, CH. anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 17 Jul 08, 7:30 AM MasterTJs_lil1bebe US(IA), 6 mths ColdHarbour wrote: 597-866-048 wrote: the idea of getting what i want does not seem possible ... A slave, on the other hand, just says "here i am — a block of stone waiting to be transformed into a sculpture". a stone slave? a slave to please Master, not a stone slave. MasterTJ's_lil1bebe 17 Jul 08, 8:16 AM Ms_Valentine 8 mths ColdHarbour wrote: 597-866-048 wrote: the idea of getting what i want does not seem possible ... So you know what you want? Exactly? Damn! I'm out of a job ... again! With respect, I suspect you know only what you think you want. And that, in my view, is the difference between slave and submissive. A submissive thinks they are right and doesn't need a Master. They just need a talented hooker to deliver. A slave, on the other hand, just says "here i am — a block of stone waiting to be transformed into a sculpture". There is no want required in that beyond the want to be taken. I think you do some submissives a disservice. 17 Jul 08, 11:03 AM ColdHarbour UK, 14 mths Y! anjuli wrote: Isn't that lazy? Here I am. Take me! Mould me! And a tad unrealistic? I understand where you're coming from and I think you're deliberately provoking discussion (of just the sort we all love of course! Thank you!) by being a touch controversial. And I do have to bite! anjuli Glad to be of service, anjuli. *smile* But lazy? No! In my experience treading that path is actually bloody hard work and scarey as hell! Because you are right — it is only natural to have wants and desires and to want them fulfilled. But sometimes our dreams stand in the way of their achievement. I have known too many who, having clung to their dreams and held out in hope of one day seeing them perfectly realised, wake up one miserable morning to the realisation that they have dreamed their life away where they could have, should have, been living it. I guess the point is, this is really not about wants or wishes. It is about freedom. It is about the nature of consensual slavery. As free human-beings we have the right to say what we want and, having found someone willing to give it, we have a right to expect the giver to honour that bargain. If you want x, y and z, you have a right to get x, y and z; not a, b and whatever else the giver feels like giving. But slavery is different. The bargain is different. In accepting total enslavement, the bargain is simply that — one party agreeing to serve as the slave of the other and that second party agreeing to accept them as such. Which is where, it seems to me, the wishes and wants that the slave had in freedom need to be, in a sense, reclassified as mere indicators of the slave's future potential — sign-posts a wise Owner will take heed of without necessarily feeling obliged to follow them blindly simply because they provided the original motivation for enslavement. The fact is, none of us can predict the future and none of us truly knows what slavery will reveal in us until it is revealed. That, to me, is one of slavery's greatest pleasures — its ability to spring hopefully pleasant surprises on both Owner and slave. However, to benefit from such 'happy accidents', you have to be open — open to just about anything. What I am getting at, I guess, is that, unlike many, I do not see the training of slaves as a moulding process. I think of it more like sculpting in the way Michelangelo thought about sculpting — a process of gradually revealing the statue that was hidden in the stone all along. We may think we know what the finished sculpture will look like, but the only way to know for sure is to get chiselling and find out, being guided by the stone as we carve it; being ready to change our original grand design according to the needs of the stone. The office of devil's advocate is now closed. *smile* You cannot run away from what is inside you — African proverb Next page