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SD! : Web boards : Ritual : "Why a Contract?"
1 2 3 4

Why a Contract? (40)

Tue 11 Dec 07, 12:33 PM
shedragon
US(VA), 15 mths
Y!*
This past weekend, the Dom i have been seeing brought up the fact that He was considering collaring me, which led to a good dicussion about what being collared actually means to both of us. He then mentioned that He would want to have a contract written up, too. This was a new concept for me, since my previous Owner and i did not have a contract, and didn't feel we needed one.

My question is: how does a contract benefit the M/s relationship? For those of you that have contracts, what purpose does it serve for you? For those without written contracts, why did you choose not to have one?

11 Dec 07, 1:21 PM
958-888-368
US, 13 mths
Y!*
We chose not to have one for the simple fact that He owns me, He will do what He wants how He wants and when He wants. He is my Master, i chose to be His slave that was the last choice i was allowed after that it is all up to Him! We discussed limits, but, even if i have them He will push them so i can learn to please Him in everyway possible. He owns me, i can not tell Him what He can and can not do with His property.

slave leala

11 Dec 07, 1:46 PM
jakesemma
US(WA), 15 mths
Y!*
958-888-368 wrote:
We chose not to have one for the simple fact that He owns me, He will do what He wants how He wants and when He wants. He is my Master, i chose to be His slave that was the last choice i was allowed after that it is all up to Him! We discussed limits, but, even if i have them He will push them so i can learn to please Him in everyway possible. He owns me, i can not tell Him what He can and can not do with His property.

slave leala

Thats how it is for our relationship too... I see a benefit to a contract only if you haven't taken the time to get to know your partner well, or want a time frame or out clause.

(Just my opinion on them, but I can see some benefit to them in certain situations. But for my relationship the only "contract" we have is a marriage certificate, but I feel that a husband owns his wife as his property, but I am a little odd that way LOL)

11 Dec 07, 2:19 PM
520-621-669
US(NC), 18 mths
Y!*
A contract was not an option for me. I knew what Master wished and expected from me. Master knew so much about me prior. Master and I were friends long before and I have always looked up to him and looked to him for direction. I believe he actually started the enslavement process long before actually approaching me with the idea. It was my choice, take it or leave it. It took me many months to make the decision so it was certainly not something I just jumped into. What I knew before hand includes that I may be shared with others but Master will ensure that no harm comes to me, Master is poly (I have a sister slave), I will be with other women for Master's pleasure and other hurdles that I have or will have to overcome. As I have said before, Master was most important to me and if I trust him, then he will show me the way. I gave myself to Master officially on my birthday this past year (what a wonderful birthday present). Master owned me LONG before that day. That day my options stoped. Master owns me. Mind, thoughts, body, heart; I belong to Master. I am his slave and I am his property. Master can and will do as he pleases. He OWNS me. This said I trust Master, and I trust him with my life. Master collared me Aug 7th.

Maybe one reason why I never even thought about a contract in the beginning or the lack of one, is because I already had a great amount of trust and respect for Master? Looking back I am glad that there is no contract between us. As a slave it seems that this would be holding back or taking away from or limiting Master's control. This is just my opinion and what works for Master.

hizslave

(please forgive spelling, puncuation, and grammer errors :-) it has been a rough few nights at work and I am on my way to bed)

"i am Master's property. i am owned by Him. my purpose is to bring my Master pleasure and do as he commands. my master protects His property and insures His slave's needs are met. my every action and thought are focused on my Master and His pleasure or desire. yes Master, thank You Master."

11 Dec 07, 2:53 PM
shedragon
US(VA), 15 mths
Y!*
Thank you for the replies so far. You all have echoed my sentiments with my former Owner. He owned me even before i became His slave, and i was completely His, mind, body, heart and soul. There was never a question about rights or limits - those were all in His hands, His choice, and we didn't need a contract to spell it out. He had my complete and total trust, and i felt comfortable and secure with our arrangement.

Anyone from the other perspective? Anyone with a contract who would like to chime in?

11 Dec 07, 3:02 PM
jakesemma
US(WA), 15 mths
Y!*
shedragon wrote:
Thank you for the replies so far. You all have echoed my sentiments with my former Owner. He owned me even before i became His slave, and i was completely His, mind, body, heart and soul. There was never a question about rights or limits - those were all in His hands, His choice, and we didn't need a contract to spell it out. He had my complete and total trust, and i felt comfortable and secure with our arrangement.

Anyone from the other perspective? Anyone with a contract who would like to chime in?

I know people who have contracts and use them as a way to keep it consensual and not abusive in their mind. As I committed to Master for my whole life, we don't need a contract..

A contract is beneficial for those who don't intent to be in a long term relationship, a out clause so to speak to make sure the slave is still willing to go forward with the slavery per say. Though, one in particular I know in real life has been with his Mistress for 4 years, and she renews their contract yearly just to make sure they still want the relationship. (This allows him to step outside of his slave role to address any issues or concerns that he had during the previous year.)

However, since Master and I are in it for the long haul as far as we can see, I can't wait a year to tell him about those types of things. I tell them when they happen.

I see both pro's and cons to doing it both ways.

I know I couldn't do a contract, a contract makes it less real to me and more like a game and I don't life this lifestyle because I think its fun and games in that sense, I live it because it is what I need to be happy and fulfilled in my life.

Edited to add : If a contract was legally binding in consensual slavery. I.E. he wouldn't goto jail for hitting me because I consented etc that type of stuff, I'd sign one of those suckers in heart beat to sell myself into legal slavery to him.

Edited 11 Dec 07, 3:05 PM by jakesemma

11 Dec 07, 5:06 PM
godless
US(TX), 21 mths
Y!*
jakesemma wrote:

A contract is beneficial for those who don't intent to be in a long term relationship, a out clause so to speak to make sure the slave is still willing to go forward with the slavery per say[sic].

There are other reasons as well.

I also don't have a contract, and can echo the posters above me. However, I thought I'd chime in because I like the idea of a contract.

I don't see it as a way to opt out - rather I see it as a materialization of a commitment. I'm sure you already know this, but a contract is really only useful if it's not actually needed, i.e. a contract will not make you commit; it's representative of a committment that is already there.

So, the reason I like a contract - mainly the documentary purposes. It's why I like photographs and journals, etc. I can look back and say "on the day I signed this, I felt like this, and expected that, and this is what has changed." It's a nice reminder in times of loneliness or frustration - I think it was Daddy's cherry who had said something about pulling out her contract to read it when she needed a little reminder (please correct me if I'm wrong).

Secondly, it can always be rewritten. I know some people are probably not too big on "limits lists" because they are in the "he completely owns me, and I'll do anything he asks" camp. I'm in the same boat (I would never tell him no), however, my M and I go through our limits list every few months and change designations from "curious" to "rather enjoyed" or from "you want me to do what with what?" to "I really want to try this." Again, it's a nice documentary to see how you and your relationship has changed and grown.

It's also a way to open communication - after a year, or two or five and you two decide to update the contract, you can say "you know we never put in a clause about doing this, and I thought it might fun to explore." Similarly, it's a way of reevaluating your relationships - what works, what doesn't, what needs tighter control, etc etc.

It can also be comforting to have everything written down. Especially if someone is in the beginning of their relationship (and even if they are not), it can be very comforting to see exactly what is expected of them - completely, and spelled out.

Lastly, it can become ritual - one of my personal favorites. You can set a certain day to read it and self reflect.

I'm sure I'll think of more, but this was all I came up with at the moment.

"You don't love a girl because she's beautiful. You love a girl because she sings a song that only you can understand" - L.J Smith "Dark World"

11 Dec 07, 7:13 PM
dolce0
US, 14 mths
Y!*
i have a contract and i will post it below (with names taken out of course) my Master has been in this ifestyle a long time and i am very new. Wwe are starting out in training for protocol and will work from there. Oour contract is a way for Uus to visualize our path more clearly.

Personal Service Agreement Master & Slave Contract I. General Let it be known, this document is by no means what so ever a document of legal standing and admissible in a court of civil or criminal law. That should either parties listed within this document fail to abide by this agreement that neither may be held accountable by any recognized legal court system and this document hold status as evidence in such, but where an illegal activity has taken place both parties may be held accountable should a violation of personal rights and or well being without consent occur. That we both are consenting adults, recognizing and accepting our needs within a relationship and with that understanding have willfully consented to the terms and guidelines listed through out this document.

In addition, we also understand and agree that, when two people enter into the alternative lifestyle known as D/s, or a dominant and submissive, master and slave and or top and bottom style relationship, certain limitations and safety protocols should be put into place. This document should list such limitations and safety protocols that have been negotiated and agreed upon, as well as any issues, desires and needs so that there is no confusion as to the nature of the relationship and all that is to take place within it. That all that occurs within the relationship be safe, sane and consensual by and for the parties involved.

The spirit and intent of this relationship is to provide training in Master/slave protocol. It is acknowledged that the activities and service may encompass many things but instruction in protocol is the main focus.

II. Roles Defined

Master, A dominant individual whose whole needs, motives and desires are to see to the well being, both mentally, physically and spiritually of his submissive or slave through proper training, guidance and discipline and gaining satisfaction in the provision of such and to provide a proper environment where both parities may grow in all areas of life fulfilling each others needs and desires.

Slave, A submissive individual whose whole needs, motives and desires are to serve, please and obey his or her Master/owner both mentally, physically and spiritually through proper training, guidance and discipline and gaining satisfaction in the reception of such and to maintain a proper environment where both parities may grow in all areas of life fulfilling each others needs and desires.

III. Personal Statement

Master I, , herein after known as Master, accept , herein after called Slave, as my property and submissive to train, dominate, control, discipline and guide for the purpose of fulfillment of needs, desires and passions and do so freely with regards to safe, sane and consensual conduct for the term of this agreement including all limits and guidelines set within this writing.

Slave I , herein after known as Slave, accept , herein after called Master, as my owner, relinquishing all personal rights and privileges as an individual to the Master and agree to serve and obey under his control and guidance accepting any and all discipline put upon me for the purpose of fulfillment of needs, desires and passions and do so freely with regards to safe, sane and consensual conduct for the term of this agreement including all limits and guidelines set within this writing.

IV. Period of Service

Effective this 29 day of November, in the year 2007, the Master and Slave have entered into this agreement fully aware of the nature and circumstances of this agreement and agree to abide by its contents completely. This agreement shall be effectiveuntil the first day of march 2008 at which time both parties shall evaluate their progression and conclude that this agreement is satisfactory and that both parties needs have been met by the other. This contract at the end of period may be extended and/or renegotiated at the agreement of both parties if interested for a period of time to be determined during renegotiation. if in the progress of renegotiation, the expiration date is reached, it is assumed that this contract is in force until either a new contract is put in place or it is determined that separation is best. The Master retains the right to discharge the Slave from his service at any time he deems necessary and the Slave may be loaned to another dominant at the Master's discretion. The Slave may request his or her release at any time, but the final decision shall rest upon the Master.

V. Service Provisions The following provisions have been discussed and agreed upon by both parties and understand that the following represents what will and will not occur within the relationship. In addition, we both understand that certain areas may not be covered within this document and that when the time comes may be added in an amendment to this document and signed in agreement by both parties. The same shall apply to that which is currently listed should the need to renegotiate them exist.

A. Master

The Master agrees and willfully accepts the Slave, as his property to own, control and dominate for his own personal pleasure and fulfillment.

The Master will provide the Slave with all necessary training and guidance in how to properly serve the Master.

The Master may maintain a stable environment in which both may grow mentally and spiritually.

The Master may discipline the Slave as necessary to ensure the Slave continuously understands his or her role with

the Master and discourage mischievous and unacceptable behavior.

When disciplining or sessioning, the Master will ensure that the Slave is not permanently marked or injured to the point of needing medical attention, that the discipline or session and the instruments used are proper and safe.

In case of Illness, the Master shall care for his Slave, seeing to his or her health safety encouraging and when necessary ordering medical attention when such cases warrant it.

The Master shall see to his own health and seek medical attention when necessary in order to maintain a risk free environment.

Should the Master loan his Slave to another dominant person, he will ensure that the dominant person is fully aware of all limitations and provided with a copy of this document and required to agree to the terms set within it.

The Master shall not at any time require, request, allow or demand the Slave to participate, whether at the hands of the Master or the hands of another, in play with children, animal, family members or any other person or being not fully able to make a decision within the realm of S.S.C., in any play that would interfere with the slaves ability to provide for her family physically, mentally or financially.

The Master shall make the Slave's health a priority over all things and all times.

The Master may session the Slave at will, and may conduct sessions in any place that he deems suitable for such a session.

The Master may bind the Slave at will and for extended periods of time keeping health and safety forefront in said bondage and use the Slave as he deems fit for his own personal pleasure.

The Master may use the Slave's body sexually in any manner he deems fit and pleasurable to him.

The Master may punish the Slave as he sees fit for his own personal pleasure and may do so at his leisure.

The Master will ensure that all tools, toys and equipment are maintained in a clean, hygienic and safe state at all times.

The Master will not perform or allow to be performed, any action which could cause serious injury or loss of Slave's life.

The Master will clearly state expectations and rules so that slave can easily understand

B. Slave

The Slave accepts the Master as his or her owner and gives the Master his or her freedom willingly, with the understanding that he or she is now the property of the Master and does so in fulfillment of the Slave's needs and desires.

The Slave shall obey the Master at all times without hesitation or reservation and in an expeditious manor.

If slave feels that a situation is approaching a boundary unforeseen, slave may utter the safe word "Yellow" signifying this. Master accepts the responsibility of assessing situations where slave calls the safe word and will, to the best of His ability, make judgment on whether to modify the activity or stop activity entirely. Slave agrees SHE SHOULD hold no ill will due to Master's decision. Master agrees not to punish slave for the use of the safe word.

Slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by Master, at which time she may rightfully refuse to obey that command. This shall be signified by the safe word "Red." Utterance of the safe word "Red" necessitates immediate termination of activity, is considered a veto, and is grounds for possible termination of Slavery Contract.

The Slave shall ensure that he or she takes any and all steps necessary to maintain their health and shall seek medical attention when ever it is needed, keeping the Master informed at all times of any changes that may occur.

The Slave shall wear any jewelry and or symbol of this relationship at any time Master sees fit

The Slave shall wear only the attire allowed by the Master and regardless of attire will ensure that she is accessible to the Master at all times.

The Slave shall not serve any other dominant without being directed to do so by his/her Master.

The Slave shall accept any and all disciplinary actions deemed necessary by the Master and remember his/her place and purpose with the Master at all times.

The Slave will abide by his/her Master's wishes and recognizes that Master has the final word on all that is to take place within the relationship.

The Slave shall always conduct herself in a respectful manor whether in the presence of the Master or not, recognizing that his or her behavior is a direct reflection of the Master and shall be held accountable for any wrong doings, misdeeds and misbehavior when not in the presence of the Master.

The Slave shall submit to any sexual activity deemed fit and pleasurable by the Master and shall do so eagerly and without hesitation.

The Slave will wear her chains and bondage proudly and keep the Master informed of any loss in circulation due to the tightness of the binds.

The Slave shall always conduct herself in a respectful manor to her Master

Slave will follow rules and expectations of Master understanding failure may cause punishment

VI. Conclusion

We the undersigned have read and understood fully the contents of this document. We have considered, being of sound mind, all consequences and ramifications in regards to it's contents and of the relationship which we have entered. We willfully accept the terms of this agreement and in acknowledging this have done so by our signatures below.

Thog I cùrsa air nach ruigeadh fradharc, gu grunnd air nach deargadh caoineadh.
It set a course the eye could not follow to a ground where weeping would be in vain

Edited 11 Dec 07, 7:23 PM by dolce0

12 Dec 07, 5:35 PM
455-162-329
US(NY), 21 mths

I don't see much point in them either but they are a fun activity to do together and write together. Often communication done just by talking cannot encompass the myriad of subtleties that writing can, this I think is why many masters have their slaves write in journals or blogs. Writing down the desires of both people and comparing them can often be very revealing. Having a beautifully created tandem poem of your relationship is something nice to look back to when you have doubts or fears.

As a 'contract' I'd rather give him power of attorney but as a memory and a base to build a life together on it is a beautiful token.

~Magdalena

12 Dec 07, 6:43 PM
Mistress_Tiara
UK, 2 yrs

My slave and I have a contract. We put a lot of thought into its terms before we wrote it, signed it during My boys collaring ceremony, and it is a very symbolic thing to our relationship. Having said that we never look at it or refer to it in any way. It feels good to have it though and I know My boy finds it comforting.

In response to those who think that a contract diminishes commitment or is a sign of a transient relationship I would add that My slave and I are in a full time committed relationship, live together and are in the process of buying a house together. We are very committed. I think contracts are optional. Have one if you want one but dont if not. We like knowing ours is there even if we dont look at often! I feel very affectionate about it really

Best Wishes

~Mistress Tiara* (formally Mistress_Louisa) Owner of 890-712-189

12 Dec 07, 8:17 PM
jakesemma
US(WA), 15 mths
Y!*
Mistress_Tiara wrote:
My slave and I have a contract. We put a lot of thought into its terms before we wrote it, signed it during My boys collaring ceremony, and it is a very symbolic thing to our relationship. Having said that we never look at it or refer to it in any way. It feels good to have it though and I know My boy finds it comforting.

In response to those who think that a contract diminishes commitment or is a sign of a transient relationship I would add that My slave and I are in a full time committed relationship, live together and are in the process of buying a house together. We are very committed. I think contracts are optional. Have one if you want one but dont if not. We like knowing ours is there even if we dont look at often! I feel very affectionate about it really

Best Wishes

probably because its like a collar in some ways I would think.

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