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	SD! : Web boards : Submission : "New website for dom/mes with head-problem subs" 1 2 3 4 5 New website for dom/mes with head-problem subs (41) Tue 29 Jan 08, 11:16 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 3 yrs  Didn't know how else to phrase it in a tiny line. Anyway, I have put a page on my website that will hopefully, in the future, be a clearinghouse for articles and essays for dom/mes and M-types to better handle their "special" s-types. The site is here, but I'll reprint the wording below. http://baphomet.tearmainn.com/brokentoys.html *************************************************** ****** Broken Toys For Dom/mes, Masters, Mistresses, and Owners who are coping with subs/slaves with mental illness, severe psychological damage, and/or neurological disorders. Being in charge of another human being is a great and difficult responsibility. (Any parent will tell you that.) It's especially difficult when that human being has issues that get in the way of “normal” behavioral functioning, and cause them (and you) pain and difficulty. Much of the standard traditional “slave training” falls down when faced with one of these special needs s-types, and the current conventional wisdom seems to be “Don't do it. Get a healthy one.” But that's not helpful to the people who are already committed, already doing it, and not ready to give in and jettison either their partner or their power-exchange dynamic. It's not the same as having a disabled child, because you're dealing (presumably) with an adult. The inegalitarian dynamic is hard to talk about in support groups for Partners Of X. And, anyway, if you're supposed to be In Charge, you want to be able to do the best you can with the material you've got. And s-types don't generally come with a clear Owner's Manual. For Broken Toys, the manual sometimes seems to be written backwards and upside down in Swahili with Polynesian grammar and Chilean slang. Why did I call this website Broken Toys, even though I know that it might hurt the feelings of some s-types who read those words? Because this site isn't a support group for the s-types. (Someone else should create that one, and I hope that they do.) It's intended to be a help site for the ones in charge of them, who may often feel like a Broken Toy is exactly what they got ... but they value it anyway, and want to do what's best. So this is what I want for this site: * Essays from Dom/mes, Masters, Mistresses, and Owners about dealing with subs or slaves with mental illnesses, severe psychological damage, and/or neurological disorders. Please don't talk about it theoretically; we're more interested in actual experiences with actual people. Discuss what the problems were, and what you did about them, and what worked and what didn't. Practical tips for *specific problems* are most useful. If possible, be clear about diagnoses. (We realize the limitations in the modern mental health industries, but ideally we'd like to have information about people's problems more specific than “Well, he was just kind of screwed up.”) We'd like to be able to list at least some essays in order by diagnosis, although we know that some will be more general. * Essays from subs or slaves who have any of the above, about what you did with Master X and Mistress Y that *worked*. Please keep the long descriptions of how much things suck to a minimum and concentrate on what might be useful for a D-type with an s-type like you. Ideally, base it on actual things done in actual relationships. We've discovered, through trial and error, that sometimes what one fantasizes might work isn't what actually works in practice. * Essays from mental health practitioners who are well versed in power exchange, including serious, deep power dynamics such as internal enslavement, and have counseled such folks. Concentrate on what the D-type can actually do to help; lists where everything ends in “Do nothing, you're not qualified, call your shrink ten times a day, and actually you probably oughtn't to be doing this at all” are not helpful. We aren't assuming that this information can help the D-type to “heal” the s-type. Instead, we're trying to come up with useful strategies to help the partners function in a healthy power exchange relationship while navigating the attendant difficulties of a Broken Toy. (Broken Tops are an entirely different and much more complicated problem, and not something we are addressing here.) Please submit essays to us at cauldronfarm@hotmail.com. If they are poorly written, we reserve the right to reject them or edit the hell out of them. Hopefully when people check back to this site, there will be useful information for them ...soon. 30 Jan 08, 6:26 AM Mikeghoul US, 11 mths  Thank you for creating this site. I hope to be able to contribute something as I own a "broken toy". Most days girl is fine, thanks to her meds, but there are moments when it is a struggle. I find that being as loving and caring as I can and just listening often helps. Due to a traumatic childhood and subsequent addiction(I met her in recovery) girl has a hard time coping with life in general. she does have a good support network around her and that also helps. We both are Pagans, she being a Green witch and Me not presently following any specific tradition, though I am drawn more to Chaos Magick more than anything. Look forward to exchanging ideas/opinions. 30 Jan 08, 7:46 AM Sword7 US, 16 mths  "Broken Toys", well I can't say I approve of the name but last I checked alot of subs and slaves don't mind being called toys. You'll have to excuse me I've got mental issues of my own so the word broken being used in relation to those with forms of mental illness doesn't exactly put a smile on my face. But either way it gives people a place to talk and practical advice which is always good. 30 Jan 08, 11:45 AM 902-660-194 US(PA), 3 yrs  Sword7 wrote: You'll have to excuse me I've got mental issues of my own so the word broken being used in relation to those with forms of mental illness doesn't exactly put a smile on my face. hmmm.. i really like the name. in fact it did bring a smile to my face instantly when i first saw it lol. i am a broken toy, things dont connect right in my brain, therefore i am broken & of course i'm Master's toy so... there ya go great idea Raven, i'll have to tell Master about it, maybe He can find a minute or two to check it out. ~peace the sting of His whip~ the welts from His crop~ the warmth of His kiss~ the click of the lock~ assures me i am His most cherished possession. 30 Jan 08, 6:45 PM jakesemma US(WA), 14 mths  I dislike the term broken, I prefer to think of it as a challenge... broken implies needing to be fixed, rather then over coming challenges and meeting goals... I like the term toys, but broken just leaves a bad aftertaste in my mouth, then again I still have issues admiting that I have past trauma issues and am still coming to terms with them while I deal with them and face them... I suppose when I am all healed and better from them, the term probably won't offend me... I will say if Master had told me I was broken, I might not have wanted to cooperate with him as much on facing my issues... in my mind, when things break, I throw them away, this is not how I view a relationship, and i've never used the term broken to apply to a relationship, broken in mind is unfixable... or at least not as good as it was before, like using superglue... I like to think of it more as a puzzle, with pieces out of place and needing to fit them all into their proper place to make up the picture and have it be whole.... but what can I say, I live in my own little world... LOL I am also a pagan (with christian overtones)... I think having a resource like this is a good idea, and we do have support groups on morethankink.net for people who need a safe place to talka bout these types of issues. as soon as your website is up and running with some information I will include it in the list of link resources with a description to help people. thank you raven for making this site. Edited 30 Jan 08, 6:47 PM by jakesemma 30 Jan 08, 7:10 PM 770-326-260 US, 22 mths  Every single human being that i have ever known seems to be a "puzzle." So, i'm not sure that "puzzle" really expresses what Raven is identifying as "broken." (I'm sure Raven can speak to that better than i ever could)... The point i really want to make is that one of the things that is wrong with our society is that when something breaks (or if something is already broken)...we (talking generally, of course) tend to throw it away and get a new one! But, not everything broken is without value. Not everything broken is useless. Sometimes, taking great care to "mend a break" and to put the precious item in a state where the break doesn't interfer with the otherwise beautiful and valuable nature of the item, can be quite rewarding...especially if one is able to restore the full value of that precious possession and to get more years of use and enjoyment from it. Perhaps the owner would value this property even more than if it were "perfect" to begin with. slave margo 30 Jan 08, 7:39 PM the_Jedi_of_Gor US, 12 mths  Thank you Raven. When we talked about this I didn't know that you would really make this site. Emma and i have been looking for a site like this for a while and have not found one. Many essays like you are looking for are contained in her blog and website. Maybe she will share a few if the site works out. I kind of like the name. Another goofy analogy, I like to think of it as finding something that is already there, burried under layers of scars and protective armor. Like finding a Van Gough that has been painted over with a lesser painting. The masterpiece is already there, it just takes a lot of patience and work to restore. or this one, like an Advil in reverse, a candy core surrounded by a bitter protective exterior 30 Jan 08, 9:21 PM Sword7 US, 16 mths  902-660-194 wrote: Sword7 wrote: You'll have to excuse me I've got mental issues of my own so the word broken being used in relation to those with forms of mental illness doesn't exactly put a smile on my face. hmmm.. i really like the name. in fact it did bring a smile to my face instantly when i first saw it lol. i am a broken toy, things dont connect right in my brain, therefore i am broken & of course i'm Master's toy so... there ya go great idea Raven, i'll have to tell Master about it, maybe He can find a minute or two to check it out. ~peace Well if you like it, good for you. May you see brighter days 30 Jan 08, 9:22 PM 770-326-260 US, 22 mths  the_Jedi_of_Gor wrote: Thank you Raven. When we talked about this I didn't know that you would really make this site. Emma and i have been looking for a site like this for a while and have not found one. Many essays like you are looking for are contained in her blog and website. Maybe she will share a few if the site works out. I kind of like the name. Another goofy analogy, I like to think of it as finding something that is already there, burried under layers of scars and protective armor. Like finding a Van Gough that has been painted over with a lesser painting. The masterpiece is already there, it just takes a lot of patience and work to restore. or this one, like an Advil in reverse, a candy core surrounded by a bitter protective exterior Liberty Bell? oh nooo now i can't stop trying to think of other "broken" things that are valuable..... slave margo 31 Jan 08, 1:40 AM 902-660-194 US(PA), 3 yrs  Sword7 wrote: 902-660-194 wrote: Sword7 wrote: You'll have to excuse me I've got mental issues of my own so the word broken being used in relation to those with forms of mental illness doesn't exactly put a smile on my face. hmmm.. i really like the name. in fact it did bring a smile to my face instantly when i first saw it lol. i am a broken toy, things dont connect right in my brain, therefore i am broken & of course i'm Master's toy so... there ya go great idea Raven, i'll have to tell Master about it, maybe He can find a minute or two to check it out. ~peace Well if you like it, good for you. May you see brighter days not sure if your comment is supposed to be sarcastic or ??? just thought you would like to know that my days are bright, thank you. the sting of His whip~ the welts from His crop~ the warmth of His kiss~ the click of the lock~ assures me i am His most cherished possession. 31 Jan 08, 2:06 AM Master_David1965 US(CA), 23 mths  *snip* I like to think of it as finding something that is already there, burried under layers of scars and protective armor. Like finding a Van Gough that has been painted over with a lesser painting. The masterpiece is already there, it just takes a lot of patience and work to restore. *snip* I really like this analogy. I see My pet in the same way. I am in the process of uncovering all the protective armor so I may get to the beauty that's underneath. Don't tell Me what I can't do. Instead, show Me what is available to Me and I will embrace all that I can with all that I have. Next page