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	SD! : Web boards : Service : "Service-oriented...." 1 2 3 4 5 6 Service-oriented.... (52) Mon 11 Feb 08, 4:19 AM ravenkaldera US(MA), 3 yrs So my boy is in the process of writing this book on how to give good service (it'll probably take a good year to write it, I think) and we were having a conversation about various points, and we disagreed on one point. So I thought I'd ask on here, as I have access to quite a lot of people. We've had other threads before on the continuum between subs whose primary desire is control, and subs whose primary desire is service. Obviously, as I've said, there's a continuum between the two, and control-oriented subs will often be expected to give good service, while service-oriented subs will often be expected to submit to control. However, my definition of "service-oriented" is the s-type who needs and wants to be of service significantly more than they need and want control. Not that they wouldn't enjoy or desire control, just that it's not their primary motivation when they kneel before a M-type. (And mind you, disclaimer, disclaimer, I am not intending to say that either end of that spectrum is better, worse, healthier, more slavey, whatever. None of that. All good, just different, every combination thereupon wonderful in its own way, and that's good because different M-types want different things! There, disclaimer over.) So, given that ... I believe that the majority of subs (like the exponential majority) fall on the control-oriented half of the spectrum. I believe that primarily service-oriented subs are much rarer. Joshua doesn't think so, or at least wishes that it isn't true. And while this list is hardly a perfect cross-section of any demographic, I thought that I'd ask: are there s-types on here who are primarily service-oriented by my definition? Any? I'm curious to see how many speak up. If this post falls into the void, I suppose I have my answer. People may also feel free to comment on the issue of demographics themselves ... it's been said that there is a higher ratio of service-oriented slaves in the queer leather community than the straight types, etc. -Raven Kaldera 11 Feb 08, 4:24 AM godless US(TX), 21 mths Y! ravenkaldera wrote: are there s-types on here who are primarily service-oriented by my definition? Any? *raises hand* "You don't love a girl because she's beautiful. You love a girl because she sings a song that only you can understand" - L.J Smith "Dark World" 11 Feb 08, 4:49 AM shyfox 12 mths ravenkaldera wrote: Service-oriented.... So my boy is in the process of writing this book on how to give good service (it'll probably take a good year to write it, I think) and we were having a conversation about various points, and we disagreed on one point. So I thought I'd ask on here, as I have access to quite a lot of people. We've had other threads before on the continuum between subs whose primary desire is control, and subs whose primary desire is service. Obviously, as I've said, there's a continuum between the two, and control-oriented subs will often be expected to give good service, while service-oriented subs will often be expected to submit to control. However, my definition of "service-oriented" is the s-type who needs and wants to be of service significantly more than they need and want control. Not that they wouldn't enjoy or desire control, just that it's not their primary motivation when they kneel before a M-type. (And mind you, disclaimer, disclaimer, I am not intending to say that either end of that spectrum is better, worse, healthier, more slavey, whatever. None of that. All good, just different, every combination thereupon wonderful in its own way, and that's good because different M-types want different things! There, disclaimer over.) So, given that ... I believe that the majority of subs (like the exponential majority) fall on the control-oriented half of the spectrum. I believe that primarily service-oriented subs are much rarer. Joshua doesn't think so, or at least wishes that it isn't true. And while this list is hardly a perfect cross-section of any demographic, I thought that I'd ask: are there s-types on here who are primarily service-oriented by my definition? Any? I'm curious to see how many speak up. If this post falls into the void, I suppose I have my answer. People may also feel free to comment on the issue of demographics themselves ... it's been said that there is a higher ratio of service-oriented slaves in the queer leather community than the straight types, etc. -Raven Kaldera Edited for Irrelevance. Edited 11 Feb 08, 1:42 PM by shyfox 11 Feb 08, 5:19 AM godless US(TX), 21 mths Y! shyfox wrote: I can't really see having one without the other. Oh, goodness, not this point again!?! *runs and hides under rock* Just kidding - for those who don't remerber the great service v control thread of 2007 (thinks fondly of battle wounds), we on TSR had a great debate that lasted many days over many posts. I think we all walked away finally agreeing that indeed, no, you could not have one without the other. However, there is definitely a continuum over which the overlap spreads. So, the question is "are you on the service side of the continuum?" not "does your whole entire life live around service, never even thinking about control in the eensiest bit, let alone wanting it?" "You don't love a girl because she's beautiful. You love a girl because she sings a song that only you can understand" - L.J Smith "Dark World" 11 Feb 08, 6:48 AM 862-203-011 AU, 23 mths ravenkaldera wrote: Service-oriented.... (Ruthless snip) However, my definition of "service-oriented" is the s-type who needs and wants to be of service significantly more than they need and want control. Not that they wouldn't enjoy or desire control, just that it's not their primary motivation when they kneel before a M-type. -Raven Kaldera One would say she fell very much on the service side of the continuum. Although control is exercised, it is not the focus of this relationship. Master's piece 11 Feb 08, 6:49 AM JRCs_petk HK, 14 mths Y! Guilty as charged, this slave is definitely service oriented. Call it the 'mother hen' in me, I get more out of giving and being of service than simply having someone control my thoughts or actions. Regards, petk 11 Feb 08, 8:59 AM bluesky 14 mths I am a service oriented slave. I always have been. While I enjoy the control element as well, what I crave is to serve. I am happiest when I am being of service to Master. In fact, the one way to drive me nuts quickest is to make me sit down and not do anything. I have been ill lately and not able to serve Master as much or as well as I wish to. Master keeps telling me that when I am better I can do this again. I am hoping I will be better soon. It is leaving me with terrible guilt even though Master says I have nothing to feel guilty about. The one thing that keeps me going is that Master allows me to do some tasks still and also knowing that when I am better I can resume my service to Him. I am sorry to have to say this ravenkaldera Sir but I think joshua might just be right on this one! mouse{N_D} My Master allows me to post on the forums but He reads all messages before they are sent and will revoke this privilege if He so desires at any time. 11 Feb 08, 9:21 AM SixThreeFive SE, 21 mths *raises hand* Me, too! My Owner has no want for controlling me aside from teaching me his preferances. That means that aside from those, I'm rather "self-going". I've thought at bit on this topic myself recently, because I was whining to myself that I'm not controlled enough. Then I began looking at my life. I don't eat food he dislikes. I don't go out without notice. I don't spend money on anything but groceries without permission. I shower everyday because he tells me to. I keep my nails short and don't paint them red because that makes his spine crawl. I wear stay ups, tight pants and spaghetti tops, because he thinks I'm sexy in them. I get up before him, no matter what the hours, because he likes it that way. I go to sleep before him because I need more sleep than he does. I'm expected to keep a nice home and do my homework. Und so weiter. When I looked at all this, I realized that his preferances are what control my actions to so many degrees, I don't even think of it anymore. It's just my life and I feel ... free. You know, I used to think I was merely a voluntary submissive, because he doesn't the active charge and control me harder. But the thing is, he does control me in very subtle ways, and I (almost) never feel like saying "It's a snowstorm outside, perhaps I could buy you drink tomorrow?" It hardly ever occurs to me that I, technically, could say no to something he wishes. Service in this home needs to be pro-active, creative and always come from the joy of doing the task. (Which are standing order I live by.) Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. -- Dale Carnegie 11 Feb 08, 10:40 AM tangie US(MI), 6 yrs Hmm...service or control....service or control.... The thing is, I would have been of service either way. But when I had daydreams (whether erotic or not), it was of being dominated. How did this work? He was controlling me, me serving him. On the other hand, the control was toward a purpose--service. I wasn't--as my daydream went--a bon-bon eating harem cutie who sat about buffing her nails. I was a working slave, usually but not always non-sexual. For me, the reality is, as stated before in different posts, William isn't strongly into either ritualized service *or* being a controlling dominant at this point in time, as we are separated. When I feel neediest, it's for domination, and I see this domination as control. **ergo: raises hand for the control side. Barbara edited for brevity Learning is not childs play; there can be no growth without pain~ Aristotle Edited 11 Feb 08, 12:43 PM by tangie 11 Feb 08, 11:22 AM Masters_zero 2 yrs Another service oriented slave according to your definition. Since it is a core need of mine to serve Him, He doesn't need to micromanage as i seem to be intuitive to His needs and desires. ~ i have no need for your reality, thank you. i have my own.~ 11 Feb 08, 1:40 PM shyfox 12 mths godless wrote: shyfox wrote: I can't really see having one without the other. Oh, goodness, not this point again!?! *runs and hides under rock* Just kidding - for those who don't remerber the great service v control thread of 2007 (thinks fondly of battle wounds), we on TSR had a great debate that lasted many days over many posts. I think we all walked away finally agreeing that indeed, no, you could not have one without the other. However, there is definitely a continuum over which the overlap spreads. So, the question is "are you on the service side of the continuum?" not "does your whole entire life live around service, never even thinking about control in the eensiest bit, let alone wanting it?" I missed it because I joined in 2008. I beg your pardon, I guess I should have known better. Next page