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	SD! : Web boards : D/s News/Events : "Left to hang" Left to hang (8) Mon 11 Feb 08, 5:39 PM hetaera 21 mths http://www.nypost.com/seven/02092008/news/region... This is a link to a recent incident at a New York BDSM club. I sincerely hope this man will recover, though I fear the worst for him. During this particular scene, the Domme involved left the submissive bound and alone on a pair of high heels he fell out of for 20 minutes because that is what he wished. I personally find this very concerning if not wholly negligent on her part. I believe he never should have been left alone. Wasn't there a way to allow him to believe he was left alone, while keeping a vigilant eye out? It couldn't possibly be worth whatever her hourly rate is, let alone his life. Supposedly this was an experienced Domme.. or perhaps just darn lucky for the course of her career. Do you think we stand to see more incidents such as this as BDSM is the current "trend" with young people? Negligent play may impact the laws here in the United States with restrictions and further limitations on all our sexual rights. I know there isn't anything that can be done, except to say to new people entering the lifestyle who may be reading this : Please read a lot and be safe! My question To Masters and Dominants: Would you ever leave your submissive alone, bound because that is what they preferred? If so, how do you ensure their safety? Are the submissives wishes so important in the heat of the moment you've ever taken a risk.. beyond what you may *usually* consider risky? I say that as.. well.. lets face it.. tying anyone up for a spell is bound to have *some* risk potential. To slaves and submissives.. when bound, is there ever a time when knowing you are left alone enhances play for you? Is it worth the risk? Do you play like this if you have minor children or other obligations that might be profoundly impacted upon your untimely demise? It's stories like this that make me realize what a huge responsibility the M type has.. every moment. Happy Valentine's Day, all! h ~hetaera~ Edited Mon 11 Feb 08, 5:49 PM by hetaera 11 Feb 08, 6:56 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs Seems to me like "every 20 minutes" was way too long, definitely, and if a top is going to use a bondage position they should be familiar with its risks -- and if I were a top I would never leave someone for 20 minutes in a position that posed an asphyxiation risk. It sounds to me like her ignorance of that risk was the biggest factor here since she apparently tried to eliminate other risks (not elevating him off the floor, not leaving him alone with a gag, etc.) Was she working as a pro domme? I'm unclear on that from the article. It refers to her as a dominatrix but that could be an ignorantly used term for any female dominant. Should a bound person *never* be left alone? I don't agree with that, but I wouldn't have left him alone in that particular position, no. hetaera wrote: Do you think we stand to see more incidents such as this as BDSM is the current "trend" with young people? I think we stand to hear about a lot more of them as the nature of the bdsm subculture becomes less and less secretive. I don't know that this means it's actually happening more often, necessarily. tying anyone up for a spell is bound to have *some* risk potential. Yeahbut, so does eating and drinking and taking a crap (people have actually had heart failure while defecating). The question to me is, is the degree of risk proportionate to the degree that it enhances life? when bound, is there ever a time when knowing you are left alone enhances play for you? Oh hell yes. I think it's because you don't babysit property. You don't keep your lawnmower within hearing distance at all times to make sure it's OK or keep a watchful eye on your microwave. No, you leave them where they are and get on with your life and know they'll be there when you want them. To me being restrained and left powerfully evokes the mindset of being property in a way very few things, if anything else, can. Is it worth the risk? In Mr Linnet's assessment (and mine although that's immaterial), yes. Of course the risk isn't random; it's understood and managed. No hanging with my arms over my head or a noose around my neck teetering on high heels while he goes grocery shopping; no being shut in the trunk of a running car in a sealed garage; no being locked in the closet with a lit candle, that sort of thing. Krista Resident Evil 4: Sure, there's a pretty young thing waiting for you in the barn .. but she's pitchforked to the wall. 11 Feb 08, 9:20 PM 688-764-833 US, 2 yrs little_linnet wrote: no being locked in the closet with a lit candle, that sort of thing. Not even with the yappy dog for company? 11 Feb 08, 9:41 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 3 yrs I've done this sort of thing for people before. Generally I make sure that they're hooded and earplugged, and then I noisily leave the room, pull off my loud boots, and then slip back in before letting the door slam loudly. Then I sit in the corner and read and keep looking at them every 30 seconds or so, and then slam the door and check their breathing every 5 minutes. In that space, time stretches out and they can rarely figure out how long it's been. And this is for people who aren't paying me ... man, if I was getting $185 an hour for this, I'd sure as heck be there watching. -Raven Kaldera 12 Feb 08, 8:01 AM masterfiremaam US(AZ), 2 yrs 1st, I'm RACK, not SSC. He knew the risks...she knew the risks. So, I'm not going to argue about if she should have left him alone or not. However, the risks in this case were not accurately assessed, in my opinion. IF you are going to leave a person alone for stretches of time, you need to make sure that the risks are accommodated. Here's what I see went wrong: 1. She should have used a bondage method that wouldn't cut off his air if he fell. 2. He should have been equipped with some kind of warning system he could have used if something went wrong. This device should have been rigged in such a way that it would go off even if he fell and passed out immediately. Holding a huge clutch of bells would have been an easy, simply solution. 3. She should have set up a monitor to watch him or had at LEAST a sound monitor. Just because HE wants to be left alone doesn't mean she has to NOT check on him. Even given all that, accidents DO happen. We actually don't know ALL the details and, as we know, vanilla sources will often bias the tone to make it worse. But, we can't deny that it's BAD that he ended up in the hospital! Master Fire "Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted *air guitar* Edited 12 Feb 08, 8:03 AM by masterfiremaam 14 Feb 08, 3:57 AM ymdtes US, 18 mths This is being discussed on a couple of the lists I'm on (like TES-Talk). I'm from the suburbs of NYC. The latest word is that: he is alive; he is awake and breathing on his own (had a breathing tube for a while); knows who he is (the story said he had no ID on him); and has no memory of the event. So, it sounds like a tragedy has been avoided. One article went on to say that the "dom" had "resigned" being a dom - which says to me she really wasn't a dom, but someone pretending to be a dom for $. And finally the press coverage I have seen so far was pretty SM neutral -- which is AMAZING!! - Don Edited 14 Feb 08, 4:05 AM by ymdtes 15 Feb 08, 4:33 AM ymdtes US, 18 mths Looks like I spoke a little too soon about the press coverage. From another list I'm on: "It was sad that he was hurt, but this article is even sadder. As if you could just "give up" being kinky - http://www.nypost.com/seven/02132008/news/region... - Don P.S. As far as I can tell, the NY Post is a very tame version of the London Tabloids, if that context helps. 15 Feb 08, 9:46 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs Oh, that's so terribly sad. Krista Resident Evil 4: Sure, there's a pretty young thing waiting for you in the barn .. but she's pitchforked to the wall. 9 Nov 08, 1:31 AM TheCaptain IE, 4 yrs If leaving someone tightly bound, whether with or without a noose, I would attach a heart pulse monitor, and a blood-oxi meter ... with alarms. In the unlikely event of me ever using a noose, I would have a calibrated weak link in the rope ... so that if a substantial portion of their weight came to bear on it, it would break AND, if relevant, a mechanism to slow their fall. Quite frankly, ANYTHING that is or can become tight around the neck is too damn risky.