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	SD! : Web boards : Poly D/s : "2 slaves 1 master dose it work and how" 1 2 3 4 2 slaves 1 master dose it work and how (39) 24 Mar 08, 1:06 AM 541-969-139 3 yrs £ if your master wants two slaves so be from a slave i became a dom master come slave girls join me in my slave harem 25 Mar 08, 4:46 PM 688-764-833 US, 2 yrs masterfiremaam wrote: Yes, two slaves can. This doesn't mean that YOU can. If you are monogamous at heart, poly just won't work. However, if you Master is willing to move slowly and help everyone deal with their jealousy issues, you could be poly. The crappy thing is people often don't know which they are until they try. The first things that you and your Master need to do is make sure YOUR relationship is solid. Then, you need to agree on the role and place of the new person. THEN you start to look. Master Fire Agreed. Also remember that the person you're looking for *is* a person; with their own hopes/fears/dreams/pov, etc. Cheers, Leesie 2 Apr 08, 10:06 PM Mistress_Muse US(KY), 9 mths Y! I have two male servants. one is My husband, the other is My toy. they both know their places and accept it. the only other choice is to leave. My wishes come first. 9 Apr 08, 1:40 AM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 3 yrs Y! Okay... 2 things. I for one believe it is much harder for another to come into a M/s relationship that involves a married couple. Here's my thoughts on why. Will the 2nd ever feel she is as much a part of the relationship as the wife? Will the wife ever really accept the 2nd as being here sister or equal? Even if the wife is declared as alpha or 1st girl, it doesn't make the 2nd feel any more as a chain sister than the dog. The marital bond will always be considered the "real deal" and the 2nd as nothing more than an extra on the set. Also, for me a poly relationship has to be one that bonds all three ways, M<->s1 and M<->s2 as well as a bond between s1<->s2. Of course not all are like that, but for me it feels much better. I like the idea of my slaves feeling like chain sisters and partners in the maintenance of my domain. While my first slave is alpha girl has the responsibility of keeping other girls in line and seeing to there understanding of the rules and protocols, along with that responsibility comes the privilege her station. She is expected to top when necessary and punish if required. She will also be held to a more strict requirement of discipline, because she has been here and knows better than the others what is expected. We have searched for quite awhile for a 2nd. Now we have 2 candidates. It is not known yet whether either will work out, but we are hoping. Poly M/s will be very difficult and I hope very good when it works out well. I am more than capable of loving and caring for more than one slave. And I know that is important to realize in order to be poly. Lord Laraby (of House Laraby) 9 Apr 08, 5:55 AM 544-282-976 US(NJ), 2 yrs M/s relationships are intense and require a lot of attention. poly relationships can be intense and do require a lot of attention. regular mono relationships can be intense and require a lot of attention. no matter what, you're doubling your need for attention to details, communication and trust. it can be done, my Master owns another slave. He loves us both. i am His primary relationship but as slaves both pet and i are...well, equal. and i am bi, she is not. it can be done. it's NOT EASY i won't kid you! but it can be done and can be quite rewarding. Master Mike's precious 2 Jun 08, 10:28 PM star_sapphire UK, 2 yrs Y! fellatrice wrote: my Master solved this problem superbly, i think the new girl was informed that she was to be the beta slut and that she would be my property, i am, and always will be the alpha slut. since beta is submissive to me, and i am submissive to master, obviously his will is paramount i have given her the pet name of ORAL since that is her main task for both me and Master she wears my collar with a dog tag - on the front is says ---- ORAL on the back it says - property of miss fellatrice when we go to the local bdsm club, it is me who fastens her to the dogleash and leads her round the club naked i love Master more than ever for giving me this lovely gift This is how Master and I have discussed it. I am more than happy to have another within our relationship. Maybe in time we will have another join us, but it is proving difficult. It seems that most are monogamous and wish Master to themselves and really don't want to know I am around. Hopefully in time we will find that special one for us. sapphire 3 Jun 08, 4:19 AM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs i am at the same place as silverrose, although now it is a mute question as Master has passed on But Master was in agreement as He felt He didn't have the financial or health stamina for more than one woman and He told me that i was too immature and insecure for Poly - and He was so right on. But i have seen very happy Poly families - under the system someone else mentioned, where the alpha female is also almost a S/switch, ruling over the beta. It kinds of reminds me of the story of the Torah/Bible's Pentateuch - not saying anyone else has to believe it as anything more than a story - that talks about the rivalry between R/rachel and leah for Jacob's affection and R/rachel wants some Mandrakes - whatever that is - that leah has and she seems to complain that R/rachel has taken over their mutual Husband. so R/rachel points out that for her Mandrakes she would let leah have Jacob for the night. It seems to imply that R/rachel doled out Jacob's sexual favors, to me, in that culture in that time. Of course much of why it wouldn't work for me is i'm disabled and housebound in order to share, i'd have to have something to keep me from going crazy, a job or school or something, and be the alpha, if i ever got past my insecurity. The church i belong to originaly allowed Poly but doesn't any more; however, only those considered very spiritual indeed were allowed to live in this situation - and it was highly suggested each woman hav her own ( preferably sound-proofed - in my mind) room or preferably her own cabin - her own space, i guess we'd say nowadays. i remember someone whose been in our church and whose family has been in it since the start reading from her i-don't-know-how-many-greats grandmother's journal when her grandmother lived in a society that was poly Intellectually her grandma could accept her second counterpart, however on the night of her husband's marriage to her counterpart,she was up all night cleaning and in great distress while she'd thought she'd accepted it,it seemed it was intellectually, more than actually. imagine her surprise at 5 a.m. when her husband came back to her saying He missed her and also had a feeling she'd be in this kind of state and wanted her to know He still loved her. to me, that story sums it up - it should not be easy for One and overwhelmingly harsh to another. i think it takes very special people to do Poly. And if i ever grew up enough to do it, in some other life or whatever, i know i'd have to be the alpha female and the other the beta "slut" as someone so well put it Unless it is consensual that the slaves likes humilliation and harsh mind-control as well as physical. By the way, that story caused me to check it out. In the middle east and africa where some societies and tribes allow poly, they do try to have anything from separate huts to separate houses - and most of the women involved have no choice there. In china,i've ben told the hiero-glyph for trouble or problems or some such word is a bare line drawing of 2 wwomen living under one roof - and i learned that from Master who always told me that over and over when i went through early fits of feeling i wasn't a very good slave because i didn't think i could do poly or a lot of masochism, etc. i've since learned to identify with others in the lifestyle and not compare - or only to compare myself with my earlier slave-self to see where i've grown and where i need to grow more. Of course His being a priest/elder in our now very non-poly and extreme vanilla church would have absolutely precluded a second slave, short of being excommunication. j/L Papa Lou's own always, still Proud to wear HIS collar, rest in peace Master. beloved, this one is really missing you! P.S. something i don't understand about some so-called Poly relationships is when the Master has a vanilla spouse who doesn't know or when One or the other is online with others, and their "P/partner" (not the right word i know) does not know about it. i don't understand when it's poly and when it's cheating. i know of some Vanilla open marriages where the One or the other has a second relationship that is non-Vanilla knows and accepts it with no harm done that is NOT what i am talking about. i am talking about the sneaking around behind O/one's back You know where someone eventually finds out and is hurt damned bad. Of course, as i said, it no longer applies to me as my vow to Master was that i'd not serve anyone else, but could be a S/switch if it ever seemed desirable, which it has not, as yet. of course despite the 4 years, almost 5, collared while He was alive out of an almost 15 year marriage, i am comparitivey inexperienced as i didn't know many in the local area. He was not up to it and was less social than i, although it appeared the opposite and, as He put it,"(He) didn't like to share His toy." so what i think is not from experience just thinking - see purple smoke out my ears. (grin) i think it would take very special people to make poly work. and it all maybe is summed up by an old saying "different strokes for different folks" j/L - the whore of babbling on and on and on ad nauseum, ad infinitum. Edited 3 Jun 08, 4:30 AM by 662-935-655 5 Jun 08, 2:47 PM Master_Unicorn US(AL), 7 mths Y! OK and here there is a dichotomy a full slave of course lives to make their Master/Mistress happy, this means that they are happy as long as their Master is, so in this respect the full slave would be automatically happy if their Master was. In my humble experience I have found that most 'slaves' are really deeply entrenched submissives and not full slaves, but that is by the by. Now to them main point, depending on various criteria it can and does work in hundreds of households in the US, one only has to look at some of my Peer friends to see that Lady H has (changes) about 3 or 4 slaves living in Her household, She loves them all. Man is not made to love only one person, we have the capability to love many, it is society that tries to dictate otherwise, if we 'were' only capable of loving one, then there would be no divorces, no marriages after death of a spouse and millions of people who never found that 'ONE' person, the argument that "the other person is now gone (for what ever reason) does not hold water, but is used as an excuse to justify to themselves and society - and society's excuse to allow it. Most jealousy comes from lack of confidence and trust, it is that direction that maybe should be ascertained and worked on if need be. My (wife) submissive was also wary of a new person in our lives, and now she loves my other submissive like a sister, and it is neither necessary or not for them to be bi-sexual, either will work as long as the 2nd and subsequent members of the family realise that like in a Harem there is a pecking order. May I suggest that you both sit down and with your Masters permission both of you write down your hopes and fears then compare notes and see what answers can be forthcoming? In due respect Master Unicorn Sir Robert de Monoceros 5 Jun 08, 4:42 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths I'd agree with most of what has gone before and certainly would also say that non-competitive and loving relationships with more than one other person are self-evidently possible because they are all around us! J and I have been involved with a third and I can now say with absolute knowledge that my instinct that I would not feel the need to be jealous or worried was right. Actually I would say that if you want any sort of real intimacy then feeling and connection between all three of you is a must. If you just want a scene then fine. I'd just like to refer to MU's writing here tho and as it's an old thread I don't think the detour will be all that important to the OP. Master_Unicorn wrote: OK and here there is a dichotomy a full slave of course lives to make their Master/Mistress happy, this means that they are happy as long as their Master is, so in this respect the full slave would be automatically happy if their Master was. In my humble experience I have found that most 'slaves' are really deeply entrenched submissives and not full slaves, but that is by the by. I think that it would be more fair to say that your OWN definition of a slave is that they live for their Master and have no independent measure of happiness at all. And I'd be unsurprised that, by this measure, you feel that most slaves are really submissives. I'm not sure that it is helpful to deny the humanity and therefore feelings of a slave by implying that if you have them you're something less than a 'full' slave. It sounds a little 'one true way' to me. I don't mean to be rude M.Unicorn but you are rather judgemental in your presentation of this idea and some will find that difficult but will feel unable to challenge it. My questions are real ones though not an attack. Does this stance not discourage a slave from being honest with her emotions for fear of being seen as less than a full slave? The thing that lets me give myself whole-heartedly and without fretting for myself - to step away from thinking about me, to thinking about him - is that HE takes care of me. HE worries about my happiness. He has never and would never see me as less for having feelings of my own! I'd want to ask firstly how does an M expect a slave to 'automatically' become happy for him when it's human being he owns not an automaton? Closely followed by 'How's this going to handle my real emotions when things go badly or get raw, if he's not keen on me being a bit down when I have a headache, burn the dinner or if the dog dies?' I don't wish to be rude but it sounds a little unrealistic. Similarly, if you'd faced me with that statement at the outset of my finding this lifestyle I would have asked, 'So what's in this type of relationship for me then?' It's in our nature as humans to look for happiness. I am ever grateful that J is the man and the Master he is: strong enough to own a real human with real feelings and proud of the way I've changed over time to grow closer and closer to him... more and more tied to his happiness if not this perfect but slightly 'Stepford' slave. I will pop back in a moment and just post the wiki definition so we don't head off into yet another bout of definitional hell here. This is not about the absolute definition of a slave. Just a discussion of different views! anjuli Edit for a horrible sentence! Actually there are quite a few! I have too little time to rewrite it properly as I am about Master's business but I apologise for the crappy writing and have tried to make it a little better. ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ Edited 6 Jun 08, 9:51 AM by anjuli 5 Jun 08, 4:49 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths Here's the wiki definition - which is the one we use here on SD! so that we don't have to decide within each discussion just what a slave really is. All else is up for grabs and subject to different people's dynamics and choices and tastes. SLAVE: A person who is owned: that is, someone in a relationship with an owner who has ultimate authority over them, and from which the slave cannot remove themselves. And NO, this is not some pedestal perfect definition that we all are meant to aspire to! You are not a lesser being if you choose something else or are not owned yet! It's just a definition to stop re-negotiation over and over of what words mean when they WILL have slight differences for everyone who applies them to a human relationship. What your Master says goes! And your dynamic and its differences in nuance and so on, is just fine. We all fit around this somewhere, ok? anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ Edited 5 Jun 08, 4:50 PM by anjuli Next page