Can your business help Seek Discipline?    [other banners]

	SD! : Web boards : Poly D/s : "2 slaves 1 master dose it work and how" 1 2 3 4 2 slaves 1 master dose it work and how (39) 15 Oct 08, 1:07 AM 111-511-935 US(SC), 10 mths Y! 688-764-833 wrote: Agreed. Also remember that the person you're looking for *is* a person; with their own hopes/fears/dreams/pov, etc. Leesie is right. You have to remember that this other person has a personality all their own. I share Sir with quite a few partners, most of whom have alot more experience than I do. If you look at a new girl as competition, then yes, you will have problems. When I find myself getting jealous because of another girl He's with I try and develop a relationship with that person as best I can. Heirarchy in my experience has only caused problems because one person has always wound up either leaving because they didn't feel valued or overstepping their bounds causing a whole new set of problems. I agree that if your Master wants another slave you should try your best to go through with it, but he also needs to take into consideration how it will affect the way you serve him seeing as you are his responsibility. If I have a bird and one day decide to give it a new cage mate, and something happens to either bird, its my fault regardless of what happened between them. Its up to me to make sure they're compatible and condition each accordingly but up to them to cohabitate peacefully and develop a comradery. Unfortunately people are much better at hiding their feelings than birds as well as developing their own hidden agendas. Good Luck 27 Oct 08, 5:56 AM GypsySlave US(NC), 9 mths Security and confidence....those are two of the key foudations of any Poly relationshp. I came into an established M/s releationship as the BETA.....knew my place, did my job, and was happy....however 30+ years of marriage can cause striff when bringing in a slave that is your daughters age...... I fought hard and long...but over time....it worked...and worked beautifully. We still have our ups and downs...but I have and as does my Master....a lot of love to give.... I would walk to the end of the earth to please my Master....... Being submissive does not equate to being weak, in fact it's just the opposite, it takes the strongest of wills to submit to another. True submission must be given freely before it can be taken. -Master 7 Jan 09, 7:00 PM MasterDagon US(PA), 10 days I understand your concerns and can offer something I read on one of the people I respect's blog: October 1, 2006 Lately, I have heard or read a lot about how slaves should check to see if another slave is collared to or interested in a particular free man before serving him, so as to avoid stepping on another slave's toes. This has been discussed both with regard to cyber interaction and interaction in real life. The thing I have to ask is WHY should a slave be more concerned about pleasing another slave than pleasing the free? It's actually pretty common at Gorean gatherings (I'm talking real life here) for girls to be petted or sit in the laps for a while of other masters besides their own.. Much like at the dog park everyone pets all the other dogs and stuff. It is also rather common for girls to serve free people other than their owners in other ways, dependent on the rules of those who own them, of course. Realistically, we (slaves) don't have any business getting upset because our masters or masters we are interested in are also paying attention to other girls in whatever capacity. It is their right as free men and our place as slaves to be pleasing. Jealousy is a luxury of the free. It isn't permitted (at least outwardly) to slaves. Something that I have learned to do when the green eyed monster wants to rear its head is step back and look at it another way... When another girl is sitting at Master's feet or snuggled up with him.. or passionately kissing him or more.. Yes, sometimes I do feel some jealousy.. But the thing that I try to remember is that he is being pleased.. and that should be my primary focus. So I will look at the fact that he is happy and try to be grateful to the girl for helping me to keep him happy. And I have also discovered that making FRIENDS with the other girls makes them a lot more likely to be sensitive to my feelings as well, and they will be right there at my side if I'm feeling a little neglected or unwanted to remind me that *I* am the one who shares his bed and his home, and to tell me about how he looks at me or talks about me. To tell me how obvious it is that he loves me.. If I had automatically classified these other girls as competition or "the enemy" I would have sold myself short in the friend department AND displeased Master! how sad that would have been! One last thing to remember... We don't have a *right* to serve our masters or any free in anything, let alone all things. It is a privilege. A privilege that can be taken away just as surely as it is given, should we show ourselves unable to remember our place. Many a jealous girl has found herself sleeping on the kitchen floor and scrubbing pots while her more pleasing and less jealous sister enjoys her master's bed and arms *instead* of, rather than in addition to her. We slaves would do well to keep these things in mind always! © Khaos WolfKat 2006 Edited 7 Jan 09, 7:02 PM by MasterDagon 7 Jan 09, 9:09 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths I don't see how smothering real emotions and hiding them from your M are at all compatible with poly or with M/s or D/s as we discuss it here. These feelings are better out and dealt with. The M type who tells his slave she had better deal with it as she's a slave and has no choice would look suspiciously like one who either selfishly won't, or doesn't have the ability, to handle the challenges of a poly family / relationships. Sure it's the easy way - for him. And of course it's admirable to be free of such 'base' feelings towards others. Good for the woman (sub slave or vanilla poly) who can do it. But is it realistic? And I'd want to know how long those relationships really last. All I know about poly or even temporary involvements of thirds tells me that to deny or make one party feel guilty for feeling jealous, lonely, left out or surplus to requirements is to undermine the foundations of the multiple relationship and even of the primary one. I may be wrong in this particular instance but it sounds more like fantasy than reality to me for most people. anjuli *** “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Anais Nin *** 7 Jan 09, 10:21 PM MasterDagon US(PA), 10 days anjuli wrote: I don't see how smothering real emotions and hiding them from your M are at all compatible with poly or with M/s or D/s as we discuss it here. These feelings are better out and dealt with. The M type who tells his slave she had better deal with it as she's a slave and has no choice would look suspiciously like one who either selfishly won't, or doesn't have the ability, to handle the challenges of a poly family / relationships. Sure it's the easy way - for him. And of course it's admirable to be free of such 'base' feelings towards others. Good for the woman (sub slave or vanilla poly) who can do it. But is it realistic? And I'd want to know how long those relationships really last. All I know about poly or even temporary involvements of thirds tells me that to deny or make one party feel guilty for feeling jealous, lonely, left out or surplus to requirements is to undermine the foundations of the multiple relationship and even of the primary one. I may be wrong in this particular instance but it sounds more like fantasy than reality to me for most people. anjuli I think you mistook what I quoted as words from a Master...those were words from a slave. And if you weren't referencing me at all, I apologize. Edited 7 Jan 09, 10:24 PM by MasterDagon 7 Jan 09, 10:25 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths MasterDagon wrote: I think you mistook what I quoted as words from a Master...those were words from a slave. No. I realised you were quoting a slave but you were clearly endorsing the views therein. My doubts and questions still stand. How is it good to pressure a slave to dishonesty with emotions if you want a longterm poly relationship. Sounds like a good recipe for tumult in the household to me unless of course said slave is disposable should she demonstrate unsanctioned feelings. anjuli *** “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Anais Nin *** 7 Jan 09, 10:35 PM MasterDagon US(PA), 10 days anjuli wrote: How is it good to pressure a slave to dishonesty with emotions if you want a longterm poly relationship. Sounds like a good recipe for tumult in the household to me unless of course said slave is disposable should she demonstrate unsanctioned feelings. I believe that jealousy is something we all go through but it is only a moment of weakness. Should we always let our weaknesses control our actions and thoughts? 7 Jan 09, 11:11 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths The point I'm trying to make is that all feelings are real and more importantly they're all valid. Prejudging them as bad or good is not the best way of dealing with them... it causes guilt, shame and eventual dishonesty if it's handled badly. And it's the job of a dominant and particularly the Master or owner of a slave to avoid the sort of emotional bashing that 'you would not feel this way if you were a better slave' type thing, or 'look at how the perfect slaves deal with it / don't feel jealousy', don't you agree? Of course someone in a poly relationship can be encouraged and reassured that it's perfectly natural to feel jealous at times and told that it won't kill them and need not damage the relationship if they let the others help them thro it. That's not to say it's indulged but it is acknowledged and handled. Maybe I'm reading your piece in a particular way but I felt that a counter-argument needed saying rather than have people feel diminished by an example that we don't have any evidence for. anjuli *** “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Anais Nin *** Edited 8 Jan 09, 12:00 AM by anjuli 7 Jan 09, 11:22 PM MasterDagon US(PA), 10 days I am not advocating suppression of feelings...and neither did the slave I quoted. I simply said that as a slave, her main priority should be to see her master be pleased. Yes, jealousy happens. Does that make it bad? No. Does that make it acceptable? No as well. But the point made in the article is that perhaps looking at it from a different point of view can save a lot of hurt and pain. In fact it says that if you instead of viewing the girl as a threat, try to make friends with her, you will find that the other slave will be more sensitive to how you feel. The Master has the right to have others please him. That is undisputed. If you make friends with the girl, then perhaps you can make an agreement with -her- to not do anything that is hurtful to you. After all, a slave's place isn't to make demands and limitations on the master. It doesn't mean that she can't make requests of other slaves. Edited 7 Jan 09, 11:24 PM by MasterDagon