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	SD! : Web boards : Submission : "is it wrong?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 is it wrong? (96) This topic is now full - if you want to reply, please make a new post on the board itself. 2 Mar 08, 5:15 PM Master_David1965 US(CA), 24 mths I have to agree with the majority, here. E/everyone has bad days, it's how Y/you deal with them that sets Y/you apart from the rest of the pack. When My former slave would do or say things that angered Me, there were times I yelled or over-reacted. At times I acted pretty foolishly, and I accept responsibility for My actions. But I never, *ever*, hit her out of anger. I can clearly remember one time when she was being particularly sassy (willful disobedience to test Me), and I took 2 fingers (index and middle) and gave her a bit of a tap across the face. Not a slap, nothing even close to it. Merely a tap. That did two things: it got her attention (in both a good and bad way...more on that later), and it made Me realize that doing that action was not how I wanted to handle future situations. These days, I deal with her behavior differently. I never hit, or even give the impression that I will. I either talk with her and help her understand what she's done wrong, or I ignore her as a way of making her pay attention. Both approaches work when used properly. As far as how that tap got her attention in a good and bad way: it stopped her from being sassy (good), but I also saw an expression on her face that I never want to see again. It was the look of fear, the look of "Oh no, another abusive jerk who's going to hit me...". As crazy as she makes Me sometimes, she still means a lot to Me, and I don't want her to have to re-live some bad previous experiences because of My words or actions. Don't tell Me what I can't do. Instead, show Me what is available to Me and I will embrace all that I can with all that I have. 2 Mar 08, 5:23 PM knightenslaves US, 13 mths Y! 649-235-426 wrote: i think that as owned property, a Master should have a modicum of respect for his slave. i agree with the example of breaking a car's window, etc. if someone slaps you around for the hell of it, he's no Master. he's just a lowlife fuck who doesn't like women. that's his problem. don't keep it yours. I could not agree more with this statement. No one can make you leave...but if asking for an opinion then yes, it is wrong, it is abusive, and you need to get the hell away from this "lowlife fuck" My responses are limited. You must ask the right questions. 2 Mar 08, 8:00 PM 427-222-624 US, 2 yrs Y! Please pardon this one for being so to-the-point, but GET OUT. That is not M/s. That is abuse. Please just see that there are others that can and would fulfill your wishes to be "Mastered", as you put it, without hurting you. Please.. just get to safety. Family.. a friend.. even a shelter. Just get away from him, while you can. "Sometimes you wake up, sometimes the fall kills you, and sometimes when you fall, you fly.." 2 Mar 08, 9:38 PM shyfox 12 mths MasterLT wrote: A good Master never acts out of anger. A good Master controls his anger and only uses controlled discpline out of love for his slave. As a slave, don't ever confuse the brutality of an out of control barbarian for the loving discipline of a kind Master. There is a great difference between a spanking for a disrespectful tone and punching another human being because you are angry. If your Master is abusing you, he isn't your Master. He is just a bully taking advantage of your submissive nature. Get out and find yourself a loving Master who knows how to care for you properly. So a master always has to be kind and loving to qualify as a master? Is it unheard of to have a little controlled anger play? I thought the true mark of someone in control is not that they don't experience emotions but that they can control their actions in the context of those emotions. 2 Mar 08, 9:51 PM 541-969-139 3 yrs £ just obey him from a slave i became a dom master come slave girls join me in my slave harem 2 Mar 08, 9:53 PM godless US(TX), 21 mths Y! shyfox wrote: MasterLT wrote: A good Master never acts out of anger. <snip> So a master always has to be kind and loving to qualify as a master? Is it unheard of to have a little controlled anger play? I thought the true mark of someone in control is not that they don't experience emotions but that they can control their actions in the context of those emotions. "Controlled anger play" and the situation the OP is discussing are not the same thing. Similarly, rape and "rape play" are not the same thing. The difference being that the situation in "play" is usually conjured up - ie the master isn't *really* angry, he pretends like he is. It may even seem and feel like he is. The emotions felt by the two (or more) involved may feel really real. But at the end of the day, the premise was made-up. That isn't "the master acting out of anger* - which, I agree, shouldn't happen (and for that matter should be a standard everyone holds themselves too - not just *good Masters*). "You don't love a girl because she's beautiful. You love a girl because she sings a song that only you can understand" - L.J Smith "Dark World" 2 Mar 08, 9:57 PM jakesemma US(WA), 15 mths Y! One thing I am going to say here, and it may not be the general opinion... but if a slave is a slave, a Master can do what he wishes. I see it as having a couple options. 1. you think and feel you are slave and you are his slave no matter what. And you accept what he does. You need to communicate with him. tell him what your feeling, how your thinking, make sure your both on the same page. 2. you talk to him, try to communicate, make educated decisions (which frankly I think goes along with #1.) if you do not feel enslaved, if you feel abused, make sure the situation is correct as you percieve it. no chemical disorders such as bi polar.. nothing to skew your view, are you SURE he's actually angry? -- if the answer to this is yes, then you need to communicate with him, talk to him. 3. if nothing can be done to resolve the issues/fears/questions you have... leave. but make sure you are making an educated logical decision and aren't being rash. M/s is not the same as a vanilla relationship. just my 2cents/ opinion. Edited 2 Mar 08, 9:59 PM by jakesemma 2 Mar 08, 10:09 PM shyfox 12 mths godless wrote: "Controlled anger play" and the situation the OP is discussing are not the same thing. Similarly, rape and "rape play" are not the same thing. The difference being that the situation in "play" is usually conjured up - ie the master isn't *really* angry, he pretends like he is. It may even seem and feel like he is. The emotions felt by the two (or more) involved may feel really real. But at the end of the day, the premise was made-up. That isn't "the master acting out of anger* - which, I agree, shouldn't happen (and for that matter should be a standard everyone holds themselves too - not just *good Masters*). That is not what I meant by controlled anger play, that is "fake anger play". Perhaps play is the wrong word. If I am placing myself under the complete authority of someone else and I happen to make them angry I can't cry fowl if they act on that anger. As long as the reaction isn't insane, like chopping off my hand or something, then I would have a hard time calling it abusive. It's kind of crazy to say it's ok for a master to beat the shit out of a slave as long as it's in a "scene" but not to shove her against the wall when she pisses him off. I also think there is too little information in the original post to start crying abuse. 2 Mar 08, 10:12 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs It's disturbing to me that someone who supposedly owns another human being would lose his temper and blame her for "making him angry". Do you feel like he has control over himself? Do you feel like he takes responsibility for his behavior? Krista Jesus fuck, I get pulled out from under the tits of the Exposicion Young Gun and Neo-Nazi Club by someone it turns out the seguridados would happily slag the entire neighborhood to make sure they erase! 2 Mar 08, 10:18 PM Master_David1965 US(CA), 24 mths Emma, One of the things from the OP that really jumped out at Me is this: "Master says that if i dont respect Him first He will not respect me." To Me, that sounds like a bully who isn't in control of himself. IMO, a Master worth his salt would never say something like that. It also puts the slave in control, because he's saying "if you don't...then I won't...." He's basing his actions upon those of the slave, which in this case, I believe is wrong. you are correct when you say a Master can do as He wishes, but here's where you and I probably start to think differently. I think that when a Master starts to intentionally berate his slave or make her feel useless or worthless because he wants to, then he's no Master at all. It's just My perception that you disagree with that point. If it's incorrect, please tell Me. While I have done things with My former slaves that could be considered questionable by vanillas, I did them with the intent of putting the slaves in their places. Were some of those things humilating to them? Sure. Were they dangerous to their emotional health? No. I did it as a method of training to reinforce their position, but after I always reinforced their worth. (I see position and worth as two different things in this example.) The OP's master (intentional use of lower case) doesn't seem to be the type of person who can be talked with on a rational or reasonable level. While your second point is very valid, in the OP's case I don't feel that method will work. As to point 3, I fully concur. jakesemma wrote: One thing I am going to say here, and it may not be the general opinion... but if a slave is a slave, a Master can do what he wishes. I see it as having a couple options. 1. you think and feel you are slave and you are his slave no matter what. And you accept what he does. You need to communicate with him. tell him what your feeling, how your thinking, make sure your both on the same page. 2. you talk to him, try to communicate, make educated decisions (which frankly I think goes along with #1.) if you do not feel enslaved, if you feel abused, make sure the situation is correct as you percieve it. no chemical disorders such as bi polar.. nothing to skew your view, are you SURE he's actually angry? -- if the answer to this is yes, then you need to communicate with him, talk to him. 3. if nothing can be done to resolve the issues/fears/questions you have... leave. but make sure you are making an educated logical decision and aren't being rash. M/s is not the same as a vanilla relationship. just my 2cents/ opinion. Don't tell Me what I can't do. Instead, show Me what is available to Me and I will embrace all that I can with all that I have. Next page