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	SD! : Web boards : Submission : "is it wrong?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 is it wrong? (96) This topic is now full - if you want to reply, please make a new post on the board itself. 7 Jun 08, 8:43 AM Sir_GreyBear76tm US(AZ), 8 mths If Y/your gut is telling Y/you some thing is Wrong that should be a red flag . Discipline and Punishment should never be done while angry . A Master or Mistress knows when to show control and this sounds like he has forgot and Y/you might seek O/other Company . But that is my O/opinion and Y/your Choice if not comfortable drop and walk . §ir Grey Bear ™† Edited 7 Jun 08, 8:44 AM by Sir_GreyBear76tm 7 Jun 08, 12:33 PM pirate528x US, 3 yrs Y! A Master must keep his composure,especially when punishing a slave.In my case,I calm down down before punishment is administered.A Master shouldn't punish a slave for other people's transgressions ie;some one p*ssing you off in traffic or their under qualified boss at work who rags on them all day.This is how things are run at my house,all houses are different. Master Tony 8 Jun 08, 3:34 AM MasterJRC HK, 11 mths Y! I have watched this post develop over time along with the in input and insight add by members of the board. There are a number of matters to be addressed before those being; Getting what we asked for in the first place. We each enter relationships with prior knowledge of the other party; it is foolhardy at best to suggest for a second that BDSM'ers enter relationships based purely on the strength of a profile and/or limited exchange of emails or phone calls. Rather, we delve to discover the truest nature of that person we take or give ourselves to. To ensure that at more than a physical level we are getting what we want from this way of living. In doing so, we accept the things we can not change in others, if this is the case, one has made their bed, now must lie in it. Control, control, control! Is this not the basis of BDSM, M/s and for that matter even D/s? Is it not essential for a top to know sufficient of themselves to be able to blunt their emotional outbursts, to provide the stability to which a bottom relies on? Is telling a bottom “you're a failure” or words to that end, not an exercise in destruction of a bottom's self esteem? Where does being a domineer vs. being a Dominant cross over? What is the defining differential of domineer & Dominant? Two sides to every story As Mp pointed out, we have one side of a story, given that this particular person will not by choice or design enter the boards or listen to what is his, do we come to the decision that this person is in full knowledge of all aspects of BDSM and the nuances that must be associated with the lifestyle? I will agree to disagree. For those who have suggested that just because you're a slave, you MUST put up with all that befalls you, I say to you, you're wrong. I can not agree with jakesemma when she states “but if a slave is a slave, a Master can do what he wishes.” this displays the naivety that comes close to creating perpetual victims, damaged goods. Like beaten dogs from a kennel, victims become too afraid to participate in life. This has to be wrong, no matter how you address the issues involved. As the culminating comment. A slave does not just walk from a relationship, until there is no relationship to walk away from, even then, it has to be with the blessing (begrudgingly or otherwise) of his/her owner). Repair is better than starting anew, more so, if there is empirically evident emotions at play, not just a set or series of needs. Edited 8 Jun 08, 3:45 AM by MasterJRC 8 Jun 08, 3:58 AM JRCs_petk HK, 14 mths Y! It is difficult for us to sit here and speculate, without knowing the full story, encompassing both perspectives. Even with both sides of the story, each of us are going to be responding with our own bias, based upon our own ideals and experience. Having been in what seems to be a very similar position to the OP, where emotional and physical abuse got to a point where it became life threatening, I can only advise to trust your own instincts. My situation was vanilla rather than Ms, and perhaps a little more dangerous - had it been Ms it would not have changed the fact that I ended up imploring the help of my friends, family and police to get me out. Abuse is abuse, an Ms label does not make it any more acceptable. What vixen needs to ask herself, is whether she consents to the treatment of her Owner. Is it constructive or destructive? Are you learning and growing or are you cowering in a corner, walking on eggshells? Do you panic when a potentially stressful situation is encountered by your Owner, are you scared of how he will react? Is he in control of himself? Is his behaviour rational? You might be a slave, but that does not mean you've lost the ability to judge another's behaviour, particularly when it will impact your own life. If there is damage being inflicted emotionally, the sooner you get out the better. Physical wounds heal quickly, emotional wounds take a lot more time and TLC. I wish you luck, and hope for the sake of both your Owner and yourself that the situation is not as dire as we perceive it to be. Regards, kim 8 Jun 08, 10:08 AM Mistress_Tiara UK, 2 yrs I believe the OP has now left the man mentioned in her original post, and is now involved with someone else, hence the new name. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 8 Jun 08, 5:26 PM MMbrat US(IN), 7 mths Y! Vixin, it sounds like abuse to me. I would question this "Dom's" credentials right off the bat! Abuse is NOT a part of bdsm lifestyles. Many who are abusers try to use the Lifestyle as an excuse to get away with the abuse, but it is still abuse. Get help. Get away from the abuse. It has no place in the Lifestyle. If He can't control His temper any better than that, you most likely are collared to a phony, or wannabe without any experience. That would account for His lack of interest in training you. He doesn't know how. THis is only my opinion, but I feel others will agree. MMbrat. MMbrat. 9 Jun 08, 3:03 AM slave2master US, 2 yrs In my opinion, a Master who is out of control is a dangerous Master. This is when punishment crosses the line into abuse. The reason a slave needs a Master is because she needs that control. If He cannot control Himself, how is He supposed to control her? A good Master, in my opinion, has the ability to step back until He has calmed down and decided on a proper and fitting punishment. Bella_Ragazza wrote: is it wrong? there are times when Master gets very angry with me and will become physical. He will cover my mouth if i am speaking and He feels that i need to "shut up" and proceed to back my into a corner literally and get in my face. He also tends to punch me in my arm with full force when i cause Him to get angry. i find this scary. Master tells me that if i cant handle a 24/7 relationship i shouldn't have asked for it. but that makes me think, would You punch in You car window if it ran out of gas, no , so why would a Master act like this towards His slave? Master says that if i dont respect Him first He will not respect me...isnt it suppose to be the other way around. How can i respect Him if He says " I'm too lazy to train you" making me beg Him to write a list of rules for me , making Him annoyed and writing it out. i think here is a what the fuck that factor that goes into all of this. i dont want to Master myself gerrr. so what Y/your opinions on all of this this ? thank you for Y/your responses. vixen ( the slave name that is never said) vixen 11 Jun 08, 7:33 AM 787-872-385 FR, 13 mths Y! dear vixen, i'm an owned slave (i asked Master for it). As wanted to become the slave of Master C, i asked Him to never let me to chose, to not having any property, any money and even any human identity. I asked Him for that and i never had to want to go neither to break our contract (i wrote it myself following my desires and NEEDS). That doesn't mean that i agree with your Master, far away. I wouldn't endure your life. My Master is respectfull about my feelings and we love each other and i trust Master (aparently you don't trust your Master), so make your choice, personally, i wouldn't let someone to direct and to own me if i don't trust him. I hope i've been clear and sorry for my english, i'm french (if a slave can tell she has a nationality) kisses and be carefull 30 Jun 08, 5:43 AM joyless US, 8 mths Bella_Ragazza wrote: is it wrong? How can i respect Him if He says " I'm too lazy to train you" You dont. Plain and simple...if he is to lazy to train you, then you find someone else who will delight in it. If he is annoyed that he has to write a set of rules for you, then you find someone that i yearning for someone to give rules to....How long have you two known eachother? Did you jump right into a 24/7 relationship, or did you have a trial period? Just because someone says that they are a Dom, or have Mastering experience, does not mean that they are truely worthy of everything you have to give them...it sounds like he wants all the benefits of being your Master without actually putting in the effort...Do what you need to do, but concider your well being, because it doesnt sound like he is doing that for you... Good luck in all your endevors, His joy. :: Quod me nutrit, me destruit :: 2 Jul 08, 9:07 PM Sopranos 8 mths I worked in a law enforcement related profession for a quarter century. You are being abused. This is not the life but plain abuse. You are in real danger. Get out and seek help from professionals in domestic violence. Ted Edited 2 Jul 08, 9:10 PM by Sopranos Next page