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	SD! : Web boards : IE Theory : "What to do?" 1 2 3 4 What to do? (34) Wed 12 Mar 08, 6:09 AM g0thix US, 11 mths Well its been 3 months now, And well She either forgets or just doent seem to take me very seriously, any and all punishment to her is. . ."I hate you" or If u spank me aagain I will hate you. Its been 3 days since ive heard the words Master or sir from her lips. To be honest I really wanna just lock her in the closet with a bowl of water for a few hours till she can rember. Mind u she was the one with the remebering rules issue wich is stillll an issue. mind you 3 isnt alot...thats what 1 a month aside from the commen since respect so on rules? Anyone have any sugestions on how manybe to rembedy this...Lazyness/Forgetfullness. On a side Note how are you delt with or how do u deal with lack of respect, and Ill manners/language. 12 Mar 08, 6:32 AM JRCs_petk HK, 14 mths Y! A few questions. Does your slave actually want this lifestyle? Are your plans and needs aligned? Do you have mutual goals? Is her disobedience in any way a reflection on your own behaviour? Talk to your slave, try to find the root cause of her reactance/disobedience. Regards, petk 12 Mar 08, 6:50 AM slave_emma US(OK), 2 yrs i am sorry; you are having this issue with your slave. i don't know you, nor do i know your slave. However, by a simple face value assessment i would say that she is probably suffering from either a lack of motivation or a lack of direction. If it is a lack of motivation, you would need to find out what is causing that. Is she having trouble at work or with family? Does she feel like she can't do anything right? Once you find the cause you can begin to find a workable solution to the problem. If it is lack of direction, then you may need more defined rules. New rules could get her to be more willing to serve. Personally, i get excited when i have a new rule or assignment. However, i don't know if that is normal for a slave to have that sort of feeling. my step-daughter is going through the phase right now where she is forgetful. To remedy this, my Master and i created a chore list of things that she needs to do on any given day (i.e. pick up your room or load the dish washer), if she completes her chores then she gets a reward, like being able to watch TV. You could modify this tactic to fit the rules of your slave. As far as the "i hate you" comments, your slave could be seeking attention, by acting out. If i said something like that my Master would not be a happy camper and i have no doubt that i would be punished. For punishment my Master uses shunning or ignoring me. If i had been especially bad He may put me in a closet for a little bit. i love attention, so my Master's choice in the method of punishment is very effective. Lastly, you may need to consider working on communication with your slave. my Master and i have daily talks where W/we rehash O/our day and talk about what tomorrow has in store for U/us. It also gives my Master a chance to advise me of extra things He wants done the following day and praise me for completing my assignments for the current day. It also gives me a chance to explain if i didn't complete a task and what i can do so that doesn't happen again. Good luck to you and your slave. best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 12 Mar 08, 7:58 AM g0thix US, 11 mths Well upon further talking, The spanking as punishment leads to her childhood where she was abused. so therefore I have desided to revert to mental emotional punishment Abandoning, ignoring, so on. So maybe this will change thigs Ill keep u updated =P 12 Mar 08, 12:58 PM subsfaith UK, 3 yrs Some great advice given by slave_emma there, and you have obviously spoken more on the subject. I am pleased your slave has found the courage to disclose problems from her childhood and that should give you a good place to start. Punishment.... does she actually need punishment? Is she doing wrong? Personally I see that a punishment should fit the crime, so if it is sleeping in bed too late, a sharp wake up with some cold water and a stern talking to would be enough. If it is sloppiness in the household chores then perhaps redo the task and an essay on why a task should be done in a set way each and every time, etc. Perhaps in the case of forgetting the rules, I could suggest some writing out of the rules a couple of hundred times to ensure she doesn't forget them, however I do think that this is probably more indicative of other problems in your relationship. Communication is the greatest tool that we all have and should be fully utilised as much as possible. Perhaps a discussion about expectations would be helpful, along with short-term goals and long term goals. Perhaps it is all about attention, only you can decide this, and whilst your slave is going the wrong way about getting attention, to train her as you wish you are going to have to give her lots of attention in order for her to do these things consistently in the future. Faith :: smiles :: 12 Mar 08, 3:42 PM drknsshadow 3 yrs When I have trouble remembering a rule Master has me write the rule 10 times a day for a week. I rarely have trouble remembering rules now. Sometimes I have trouble following a rule, but that is a time when I tell my Master what is going on and why I have failed in a task. Very rarely master will make me give him a list of what I think an effective punishment would be. (I think this has only happened once and it was an issue that invovled me repeatedly breaking a rule. I ended up with a totally different punishment form any of the three I had come up with. This is one of the 4 punishments I've recived in 8 years) ~Shadow 12 Mar 08, 3:56 PM jakesemma US(WA), 15 mths Y! g0thix wrote: Well upon further talking, The spanking as punishment leads to her childhood where she was abused. so therefore I have desided to revert to mental emotional punishment Abandoning, ignoring, so on. So maybe this will change thigs Ill keep u updated =P I would not use abandonment tactics to scare your slave, that can cause long term emotional damage in someone who's emotionally sensitive to begin with, especially if she has had child hood trauma.... Just a thought, it sounds like you guys are lacking in communication... I would sit down and really have a heart to heart chat.... Also, taking time out each day for say 20-30 minutes to sit down and "talk" to each other, might be a good way to give her a chance to communicate her feelings with you on a daily basis so you know whats going on in her head which might allow you to direct her better.... If you know what shes' feeling/thinking it makes it easier to direct or shape her the way you want rather then "forcing" it on her via traumatic methods.... One of the reasons I love this lifestyle is because of the security I feel with my owner, the idea that he'd scare me with the thought of abandonment makes me want to run away before HE could hurt me.... that idea doesn't sit well with me at all... but thats just a personal issue with abandonment threats. I hope you figure it out. well wishes, slave emma 12 Mar 08, 4:21 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 3 yrs Are you sure that she really wants to do this? Maybe it sounded good at the time, but once reality hits maybe it isn't what she wants after all? I've had a few lovers like that. Perhaps you might try something radical. When she disobeys you, uncollar her and say, OK, we're going to be egalitarian now until you convince me otherwise. Watch her behavior closely. If she seems relieved, this is probably not for her. If she makes a fuss but doesn't then improve any, well, she probably likes the idea, and doesn't want to think that she'd really not be good at this, but she probably isn't. If this spurs her into actually doing better and remembering her rules, then maybe there's potential there. Just a thought, if you've tried everything else. Whose idea was it to do this, anyway - yours or hers? What does she have to say about the fact that she's acting like a bad slave? -Raven Kaldera 12 Mar 08, 8:40 PM The_Devil_Himself US, 17 mths g0thix wrote: What to do? Well its been 3 months now, And well She either forgets or just doent seem to take me very seriously, any and all punishment to her is. . ."I hate you" or If u spank me aagain I will hate you. Its been 3 days since ive heard the words Master or sir from her lips. To be honest I really wanna just lock her in the closet with a bowl of water for a few hours till she can rember. Mind u she was the one with the remebering rules issue wich is stillll an issue. mind you 3 isnt alot...thats what 1 a month aside from the commen since respect so on rules? Anyone have any sugestions on how manybe to rembedy this...Lazyness/Forgetfullness. On a side Note how are you delt with or how do u deal with lack of respect, and Ill manners/language. I have to agree with the other posts here. Do you know for a fact this is for her?? This is the first discussion I would have. Are your goals for doing this the same?? What the expectations are?? What the limits are?? What you are experiencing (just from what you posted) seems like a cry for attention, mixed with an attempt to keep her "power" within this relationship. Perhaps she does not trust your ability to run her life?? Perhaps I am not the one to speak on this issue because I have very little tolerance for "games" such as these. She either needs to live like this or she doesn't. If you have tripped a wire, i.e. the "childhood abuse" then that needs to be dealt with a well, either thru talk or counseling or both. It seems as tho she does not feel comfortable in her position with you, in that state, psychological punishment is going to be wholly ineffective, you need to be in her head before anything like that can work to a benefit, her actions suggest that you are not "there" yet. If you have the talks and you decide that this is still the direct you BOTH want to go in, then I would suggest taking the knowledge you have gained in your communications and start to taylor a program built to what she needs in order to feel a comfort level to accept your control. Once she begins to feel that comfort level and once she starts to yeild to that control, you can then bring her into a state where you can start slowly inflicting your will upon her. Start small, be consistent in your treatment of her. What is wrong today, is wrong tomorrow. Give her a safe place to be what she says she is, take away all her excuses and then hold your thumb on her to conform to what you need from her. Do not let her actions move you from your desired goal. You need to make sure that you are in the proper mindset as well before you can get her there. Be what you say you are and that will force her hand one way or the other. I don't mean this to be potentially as harsh as it may sound, but, if you are both convinced this is for you, you may not be getting the respect you desire from her because you have not "commanded" it. In any event, the first step is communication. Passivity in a man is a denial of manhood 12 Mar 08, 10:21 PM shyfox 12 mths g0thix wrote: What to do? Well its been 3 months now, And well She either forgets or just doent seem to take me very seriously, any and all punishment to her is. . ."I hate you" or If u spank me aagain I will hate you. Its been 3 days since ive heard the words Master or sir from her lips. To be honest I really wanna just lock her in the closet with a bowl of water for a few hours till she can rember. Mind u she was the one with the remebering rules issue wich is stillll an issue. mind you 3 isnt alot...thats what 1 a month aside from the commen since respect so on rules? Anyone have any sugestions on how manybe to rembedy this...Lazyness/Forgetfullness. On a side Note how are you delt with or how do u deal with lack of respect, and Ill manners/language. I'd lock her in the closet. If she comes out trying to kill you then I'd say its time to move on to relationship format C. 12 Mar 08, 10:27 PM bruyere UK, 10 mths g0thix wrote: Anyone have any sugestions on how manybe to rembedy this...Lazyness/Forgetfullness. Generally if I repeatedly 'forget' something I have been asked/told to do or not do, it generally means I have lost focus and have been thinking a whole lot more about myself than about Him. This is sometimes due to sheer selfishness but sometimes it is due to distraction caused by some sort of anxiety. Anxiety causes retreat into yourself and a un-giving of the submissive acts you usually give - a destructive sort of self-preservation perhaps. But that is for me personally... b Next page