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	SD! : Web boards : IE Theory : "Why is it so hard?" 1 2 3 Why is it so hard? (29) Thu 13 Mar 08, 7:55 PM Life_of_Vassalage US(MI), 11 mths  If being a slave is what a person truly wants, why do some talk of how hard it is and the challeges they face? Shouldn't it be easy? I think some people force themselves to be someone they're not in order to be with their Master. And, if you are submissive by nature, it should be pretty cut and dry.....right? Just something I often ponder. Natasha P.S. Why do our minds have to analyze everything to the point that we HAVE to have labels? How can you generalize if no two of us are alike? Again, just something to get the thought process moving....hope no one takes offense. I love other people's opinions!! To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour. -William Blake 13 Mar 08, 7:59 PM jakesemma US(WA), 14 mths  I don't think it is easy, it can be down right hard. Just because you want to do something, or have a need to do something doesn't mean things don't come up that you have to overcome... like past trauma or abuse, switching from "work mode" to slave mode... or numerous other situations that can make it more challenging... It also takes time to build trust between you and your partner... when your first starting I would be shocked if it was "easy as pie"... I am sure its that way for some people, but for the majority, it takes hard work... Both on the dominants side and the submissives. Slavery is a state of mind, it doesn't just happen over night and it takes time to enslave someone mentally and emotionally... that in itself can be scary for someone when you suddenly realize you no longer can "leave" with out permission.. or that no matter how angry, upset, scared, or hurt you were, you couldn't "leave" of your own free will... and it hits you in the face that you are truely trapped... even if you desired it, wanted it, craved it, and consented to it happening, the reality can be down right scary.... 13 Mar 08, 8:28 PM Michael_X UK, 3 yrs  Hi Natasha, Life_of_Vassalage wrote: If being a slave is what a person truly wants, why do some talk of how hard it is and the challeges they face? Some people truly want to be, say, a marine, or president, or a multimillionaire business person, and so forth. Truly wanting something may help you achieve it but does not make achieving it easy. Perhaps acknowledging the difficulty provides motivation for sticking with it during those hard parts. Having said that, Claire has observed that quite a few s/s/p posters over the years seem to revel in how unhappy things make them almost as though if they liked it then there would be something wrong. Shouldn't it be easy? I think some people force themselves to be someone they're not in order to be with their Master. I don't think there is a should or should not. Simply the reality that usually it is not easy. As to people doing it for their Master, my impression is that it is more often the D/O/M who is forced and usually by the s/s/p playing the my-way-or-the-highway card. And, if you are submissive by nature, it should be pretty cut and dry.....right? Just something I often ponder. My impression is that quite a few slaves are not submissive by nature in terms of personality, interpersonal style or approach to life. Those that are still have lots of learning and unlearning to do. Also slaves have to deal with those irritating items known as Masters who are human, all too human. Keep pondering, Michael 13 Mar 08, 8:39 PM Kaitlyn 9 mths  I'd have to agree with all of the above responses. For me, submission can be related to even a vanilla lifestyle if you look at it as someone trying to make themselves better...whether it be a better mother, lover, employee, or slave/subi. We all have to work hard to try and perfect ourselves, that's just a part of life. Everyone goes through it. And sometimes the easiest way isn't the best way, ya know? As for why we label ourselves, I always think of it as human nature. We look for others who share the same ideas, beliefs, or lifestyles because we all need to feel understood and everyone needs support in one way or another. I'd say that identifying with a group of people gives you a way to feel more "normal", for lack of a better word. That and it helps us to define, for ourselves, a part of our nature which can be hard to grasp fully. Good questions. I really enjoy thought provoking threads, thanks a lot. respectfully, kait “Fear may induce the show of submission; but love only can truly subjugate a haughty spirit.” 13 Mar 08, 11:00 PM puppypam SE, 2 yrs  Life_of_Vassalage wrote: Shouldn't it be easy? I think some people force themselves to be someone they're not in order to be with their Master. And, if you are submissive by nature, it should be pretty cut and dry.....right? Just something I often ponder. Why its not easy? The answears are many. Even if you are submissive by nature, you will have learnt how to push that away in life. In worklife for example if you are responsible for other humans or makeing important decisions you will have to take on a more dominant headspace. It is hard to just turn off those learnt thoughtpatterns and behaviours. If your Master demands something of you that you are not familiar/disgusted/scared by, you would want to please him but you feel restricted by yourself. Then you will have to force yourself, it doesnt just come natural because you are submissive. Other problems can arise on the way towards enslavement too, that is not to say that enslavement was not what you truely wanted. “There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” -Jalal ad-Din Rumi Edited 13 Mar 08, 11:05 PM by puppypam 14 Mar 08, 3:04 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs  Very few truly worthwhile things are easy. Krista Jesus fuck, I get pulled out from under the tits of the Exposicion Young Gun and Neo-Nazi Club by someone it turns out the seguridados would happily slag the entire neighborhood to make sure they erase! 14 Mar 08, 3:08 AM masterfiremaam US(AZ), 2 yrs  Life_of_Vassalage wrote: Why is it so hard? If being a slave is what a person truly wants, why do some talk of how hard it is and the challeges they face? Shouldn't it be easy? Simply wanting something doesn't make it a success or true. I think some people force themselves to be someone they're not in order to be with their Master. People do this all the time to be with other people. Doesn't really have anything to do with Ms and everything to do with human behavior. I mean, look at how many kinky people stay with vanilla partners...or how many gay men that have wives and children. We often force ourselves to be who we THINK others feel we should be. And, if you are submissive by nature, it should be pretty cut and dry.....right? Just something I often ponder. People come with baggage. That can often keep things from being cut and dry. Also, some people simply thrive on drama...and that certainly keeps things from being easy or cut and dry. Why do our minds have to analyze everything to the point that we HAVE to have labels? How can you generalize if no two of us are alike? We analyze everything because that's what we DO. I mean, everything we know exists has a name! People spend their entire lives working with Linnaean Taxonomy. For one major religion, even, one of the first tasks man was given was to name stuff. We can generalize because there are common traits. No two snowflakes are alike. Because one flake is different than all the rest doesn't mean it's not snow. Master Fire "Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted *air guitar* 14 Mar 08, 3:15 AM Life_of_Vassalage US(MI), 11 mths  Very interesting answers you have all given! I'm eagerly anticipating reading more!! To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour. -William Blake 14 Mar 08, 11:17 AM sweet_slave AU, 9 mths  I agree here. Submission is so new to me in regards to my career. I'm always in control and people look to me for advice and guidance. Hard then to come home and have a reversal. Aware that all good things take time. Some great & interesting discussions going on. Love it!! Edited 15 Mar 08, 1:43 PM by sweet_slave 17 Mar 08, 12:59 PM carissaLT GR, 3 yrs  Life_of_Vassalage wrote: Why is it so hard? If being a slave is what a person truly wants, why do some talk of how hard it is and the challeges they face? Shouldn't it be easy? I think some people force themselves to be someone they're not in order to be with their Master. And, if you are submissive by nature, it should be pretty cut and dry.....right? Just something I often ponder. Natasha Time is limited and I read only the question, so if my answer is a repentance of those before mine I apologize. First of all, most submissive people love to talk. Furher more, being a natural raw slave material does not turn you instantly to the ideal slave once you enter the slavelight zone. If it did it would also eliminate some priceless moments of revelations, of appreciation, of rewards, of loving, of understanding etc. It' s not only the issue of obeying at every wish and command, which sometimes is hard just because of day to day obstacles. Focusing on the Master and placing Him above all and everything else after a lifetime of different more self centered values can create a conflict within despite the desire/need to please Him. Trying to be a different person just to be with someone Master or not is wrong. Any changes that may occur on us are because we want them, and I see them as improvements and not actual changes. There are many things we carry along in life, things we have been nurtured with such as mistrust, ego, shame etc. and are not that easy to get rid off. Even if we reach the desired level of submission, there are always challenges ahead. Slavery is a exciting journey with many bumps and bruises, something like a roller coaster heading for a splendid calmness. Of course for the sake of flavor we usually manage to create some more bumps along the way as we know deep in our hearts that Masters also enjoy the roller coaster from time to time. After all I never saw a Master who did not love training. Life_of_Vassalage wrote: P.S. Why do our minds have to analyze everything to the point that we HAVE to have labels? How can you generalize if no two of us are alike? Again, just something to get the thought process moving....hope no one takes offense. I love other people's opinions!! Personally I see labeling as a general guide and reference point with lots of room for variations. It is not a strict code of conduct that all should follow. For example in my country some say the slave must address The Master in plural but I could not reject those that do otherwise. On the other hand I cant accept as a slave' s behavior a repeated expression of disrespect and defiance towards the Master. Edited 17 Mar 08, 1:01 PM by carissaLT 18 Mar 08, 1:58 AM annieanne UK, 23 mths  I am not sure being a slave is for me anymore. The idea of it is still wonderful but the day to day life is hard and I am worried that I will become resentful. We have discussed my feelings but he believes in time I will adapt as it has not been a year since I became his totally. A Next page