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	SD! : Web boards : IE Theory : "Getting on in MS?" 1 2 3 4 Getting on in MS? (35) Sat 22 Mar 08, 12:48 PM Rogers_Deb0rah UK, 7 yrs  We were having a conversation last night and one we disagreed on. Do you have to have to get on with someone and have the basis for a relationship to have an MS relationship or to enslave them? My answer was no. Not really, you dont because as long as you actively enslave you can actually get by just fine and time can make people change and grow. I felt common ground in the interest of Ms was a major one. Rog felt that you had to have the foundation of getting on as a couple. I was curious as to what you thought? Debs xx "Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man." John Knox 22 Mar 08, 12:57 PM linden284 UK, 2 yrs  Personally I need a loving stable relationship as the foundation. I couldn't imagine a M/s relationship without that emotional connection. ks 22 Mar 08, 1:38 PM JRCs_petk HK, 13 mths  I'm not sure really. To me, not having the solid foundation of a healthy relationship would simply constitute enjoyable consensual abuse/sex. Would longevity be possible in such an instance? What happens in such a relationship when you both age and need to rely on your cerebral connection rather than physical? Regards, petk 22 Mar 08, 1:55 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs  For us, M/s wouldn't work without it being based on love, but I suppose it would be possible for someone to enslave another without that as a basis for it first. Having said that, if she were to fall out of love in time, would My Girl then be able to leave Me as her Master - we talk about this sometimes and she's in a place where she very heavily relies on Me (as a partner, husband, mentor and Master), and given that we're talking further in the future, she just can't imagine being able to sever the psycholigical ties we've built up. I'm a lot stronger than her mentally and emotionally, and she knows that, hence probably partly why she couldn't dominate Me in the first place. Anyway, this is what I came up with regarding enslavement without love; Capture them; torture them; chuck 'em in a cell; shag 'em senseless; repeat from first step day after day after day for a week or so (or more) then let them into your common surroundings and befriend them, be nice to them, etc, etc..until they psychologically cave in until they give you what you wanted. Isn't that the Stockholm effect? (..or is it Syndrome?) In a hostage situation I mean..I guess it could work in M/s too, where the captive, in our case, slave learns to rely on and hence falls for the will of the captor, in this case master and becomes damaged by any other concept outside it. I know we've seen discussions here previously where slaves/subs have been in situations of a forcible nature that they can't (now) leave, and I suppose it really depends heavily on how strong the individual mind is that you're dealing with in the first place to know whether that person can so easily be 'bought off' in the psychological sense as to be able to enslave them involuntarily. Ultimately, you'd be able to 'break' anyone, but whether you'd have much left to work with, or have such 'fun' doing it or not is another matter. If you want a slave, or want to be someone's slave, then love certainly makes it easier, initially! Sean Master's l'il oneŽ(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 22 Mar 08, 7:50 PM slave_emma US(OK), 2 yrs  i think that having a foundation is important to the longevity and overall happiness of an M/s relationship. A foundation would allow for the potential slave and the potential Master to get to know each other and build a relationship from that. In addition, having an emotional connection for me, allows me to let go and become more intone with what my Master is saying or what direction He is giving me. With the ups and downs that come with a long-term relationship, love and a strong foundation is probably the glue that keeps everything together. my Master and i are in a down right now, because i have been sick and in and out of hospital lately. i don't feel that my Master would put up with illness if it wasn't for the foundation and love that W/we built, but then again that could be my own insecurity talking. Best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 22 Mar 08, 8:02 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs  I would imagine people would have to be compatible at least as far as neither actively loathing the other. Krista Accept that you are a nutcase and proceed accordingly. 22 Mar 08, 9:24 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs  slave_emma wrote: With the ups and downs that come with a long-term relationship, love and a strong foundation is probably the glue that keeps everything together. my Master and i are in a down right now, because i have been sick and in and out of hospital lately. i don't feel that my Master would put up with illness if it wasn't for the foundation and love that W/we built, but then again that could be my own insecurity talking. I should think it is your insecurity talking emma, My Girl has been quite ill recently and I can assure you, no way would I leave her or think badly of her for not being able to serve Me properly, but I agree it's fundamentally important that our relationship was based as it was from the start - without that, the down would maybe remain exactly that to a disasterous point. I can't say that sits well with me at all. Sean Master's l'il oneŽ(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 22 Mar 08, 9:46 PM 862-203-011 AU, 22 mths  Thinking about this one came to a couple of hypotheses; Some people have an overwhelming need to serve, while others have an overwhelming need to be part of a package, that includes emotional connections. Now on the face of it, the first group would have less need to like the person. They would need to respect them, but not like them. The second group would need to like the person, as well as respect them. The first group would probably include people who preface a statement with "I think" rather than "I feel". As a group, there will be exceptions, one has a sneaking suspicion that it will be predominantly male. This may be explained in part, by the way men have a tendency to compartmentalise their lives. Imperatives usually override lesser needs eg. the need to serve is more important than the need to like. Just idle thoughts over morning coffee Edited to add: By "like" one means "get on with". It was just easier to type. Although that one interpreted the words get on with in that way, is probably a tell in itself Master's piece Edited 22 Mar 08, 10:32 PM by 862-203-011 23 Mar 08, 3:00 AM masterfiremaam US(AZ), 2 yrs  Since I see this as a spiritual role for me, technically, I'd not have to have anything but Ms in common with the person in order to have them with me. However, I appreciate the Universe's decision to not make this a reality. Master Fire "Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted *air guitar* 23 Mar 08, 10:11 AM MistressSusan UK, 13 mths  I think it depends on the level you wish to take your relationship to. I think that some people, both D/s prefer to keep an arms length distance, plus some people can only devote a short amount of time to the relationship, and some people dont want a Mistress they get on with (to them its something totally separate, maybe even humiliating) if this is the case they may not be able to find a Mistress and therefore go to see a Professional. For me though, whether I am paid or not, I have to actually have some chemistry with the people I see, and chemistry is'nt neccesarily about looks, its about a common interest, enjoy talking, etc, etc I would also say that it goes without saying, the slaves I have in my inner stable are the ones I spend the most time with and they are the ones I have alot in common with and enjoy their company, after all, when we go out to dinner or shopping or something, its not 100% D/s and if I didnt like/respect them, well it would not be ejoyable for me! And after all, thats the important thing surely! 23 Mar 08, 10:29 AM isouda 3 yrs  deb0rah wrote: Getting on in MS? We were having a conversation last night and one we disagreed on. Do you have to have to get on with someone and have the basis for a relationship to have an MS relationship or to enslave them? My answer was no. Not really, you dont because as long as you actively enslave you can actually get by just fine and time can make people change and grow. I felt common ground in the interest of Ms was a major one. Rog felt that you had to have the foundation of getting on as a couple. I was curious as to what you thought? Debs xx Hi Debs I'm with you here. Mike was far more interested in ascertaining whether or not I am able to be 'adapted' to his needs than in building a romantic relationship with me. Maybe it is just my cynicism showing through, but I personally feel a romantic basis for a Ms relationship is too fragile, rather like building a house on sand. I feel so much more secure with someone who doesn't 'love' me, but rather just removes the parts of me he dislikes and puts in place attitudes and behaviour he wants. I guess, that for us, it was more important that I can grow the way he desires. issy Next page