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	SD! : Web boards : IE Theory : "Getting on in MS?" 1 2 3 4 Getting on in MS? (35) 23 Mar 08, 11:08 AM kristolcerone US, 9 mths I think it's VERY important to have a psychological and emotional attraction to people before you really can feel comfortable serving and functioning as their slave--a purely physical and sexual attraction just isn't enough. If you don't really KNOW the people you're giving yourself to, and if you don't know how they think and what they feel inside, then too much is missing for encounters with them to be completely gratifying and satisfying. I think it's really important to know WHY your partners enjoy doing certain things to you and not other things. If you understand the WHYs then you can enhance their enjoyment by emphasizing the things that they like best, and knowing that you're increasing the pleasure for others gives you a greater sense of enjoyment as well. But, you have to get inside someones head to find these things out, and that means you have to have an intimate mental connection as well as an imtimate physical connection. And, of course, it's a two way street. If you establish a serious bond with people, then they are getting inside your head as well, and learning what arouses and excites you as well so they can emphasize those things for your benefit and make an encounter better for you as well. Everything is just simply better when everyone is trying to please each other and not just trying to extract selfish personal pleasure out of an encounter. Half the joy of physical interaction comes from the giving. If things are so casual that no real relationship exists then gratification for everyone is focused only on what they can get rather then on giving as well, and nobody gets more then half of what they could potentially enjoy. Know what I mean? --------------- slave krissie kristolcerone at yahoo dot com --------------- 23 Mar 08, 11:09 AM kristolcerone US, 9 mths I think it's VERY important to have a psychological and emotional attraction to people before you really can feel comfortable serving and functioning as their slave--a purely physical and sexual attraction just isn't enough. If you don't really KNOW the people you're giving yourself to, and if you don't know how they think and what they feel inside, then too much is missing for encounters with them to be completely gratifying and satisfying. I think it's really important to know WHY your partners enjoy doing certain things to you and not other things. If you understand the WHYs then you can enhance their enjoyment by emphasizing the things that they like best, and knowing that you're increasing the pleasure for others gives you a greater sense of enjoyment as well. But, you have to get inside someones head to find these things out, and that means you have to have an intimate mental connection as well as an imtimate physical connection. And, of course, it's a two way street. If you establish a serious bond with people, then they are getting inside your head as well, and learning what arouses and excites you as well so they can emphasize those things for your benefit and make an encounter better for you as well. Everything is just simply better when everyone is trying to please each other and not just trying to extract selfish personal pleasure out of an encounter. Half the joy of physical interaction comes from the giving. If things are so casual that no real relationship exists then gratification for everyone is focused only on what they can get rather then on giving as well, and nobody gets more then half of what they could potentially enjoy. Know what I mean? krissie --------------- slave krissie // kristolcerone at yahoo dot com --------------- 23 Mar 08, 4:09 PM LovnSadst US(WA), 3 yrs Y! kristolcerone wrote: I think it's VERY important to have a psychological and emotional attraction to people before you really can feel comfortable serving and functioning as their slave--a purely physical and sexual attraction just isn't enough. If you don't really KNOW the people you're giving yourself to, and if you don't know how they think and what they feel inside, then too much is missing for encounters with them to be completely gratifying and satisfying. I think it's really important to know WHY your partners enjoy doing certain things to you and not other things. If you understand the WHYs then you can enhance their enjoyment by emphasizing the things that they like best, and knowing that you're increasing the pleasure for others gives you a greater sense of enjoyment as well. But, you have to get inside someones head to find these things out, and that means you have to have an intimate mental connection as well as an imtimate physical connection. And, of course, it's a two way street. If you establish a serious bond with people, then they are getting inside your head as well, and learning what arouses and excites you as well so they can emphasize those things for your benefit and make an encounter better for you as well. Everything is just simply better when everyone is trying to please each other and not just trying to extract selfish personal pleasure out of an encounter. Half the joy of physical interaction comes from the giving. If things are so casual that no real relationship exists then gratification for everyone is focused only on what they can get rather then on giving as well, and nobody gets more then half of what they could potentially enjoy. Know what I mean? krissie It took 2 years of online chat before I met my last slave in real life. I'm not saying this is necessary, but we knew eachother quite well after 2 years. I think some time is necessary in any relationship, bdsm or vanilla, for the relationship to have a chance to last. Chemestry and like interests will determine the proper length of time. The reason for the length of time in chat was she was in Wisconsin and I was in Oregon, she was married and going through a divorce too. We took the time to see if we thought the same, had the same interests. We were not a perfect match, and had some differences that we both had to compromise on. But overall the relationship was a good one. Unfortunately, after a 7 year run, she passed away from cancer. LovnSadst 23 Mar 08, 6:04 PM 139-715-032 US(MA), 3 yrs 862-203-011 wrote: Thinking about this one came to a couple of hypotheses; Some people have an overwhelming need to serve, while others have an overwhelming need to be part of a package, that includes emotional connections. Now on the face of it, the first group would have less need to like the person. They would need to respect them, but not like them. The second group would need to like the person, as well as respect them. This is close to how I see it, because I'm one of those with an overwhelming need to serve. I hadn't been looking for an emotionally intimate relationship of any sort. I was seriously considering impersonal venues for service - being a monk or joining the army. I don't know if a D/s relationship would have gotten to the point of enslavement without any emotional connection, but I think it could. I've been in situations where people I didn't like very much used the same tools and they seem to be just as effective. I think that I could potentially be enslaved by someone I didn't even respect, but I think it could be bad for me in the long run. It might be that the lack of respect would create more internal resistance than I'd expect, but I would not say that respect would be strictly necessary for enslavement to work. -- Joshua Raven's Boy, Joshua, is a wholly owned subsidiary of Raven Kaldera. You may contact Joshua directly with any questions or comments at josh@cauldronfarm.com, or contact Raven at cauldronfarm@hotmail.com. 24 Mar 08, 3:10 AM Andrews_cumbucket US(ND), 13 mths Y! For pet, this would be more of an issue of trust. pet would not be able to submit in any way, physically or emotionally, to someone whom she did not know extremely well, as pet would not be able to be sure she could trust him or her to not hurt pet in a bad way. And as pet has no desire to be a "WAS", not having that forever thing would make pet's submission non-existent. *curled up at her Master's feet* ~~~~ Master reads and pre-approves every post this pet makes. He will deny and/or completely remove any and all posting priviledges as He sees fit. ~~~~ 24 Mar 08, 6:31 PM Rogers_Deb0rah UK, 7 yrs I see trust, liking and reliability as things that would come from a good Ms relationship where there is active enslavement. I don't however see having a good relationship in vanilla land as a basis for the enslavement to work. Otherwise we would have besotted couples everywhere doing just that. I find it fascinating how many people do as a premiss from the beginning. If the love went an enslaved person would still want to stay as that is what matters, the enslavement rather then this doesn't suit me any more or it's not what I imagined. Compatibility of things liked has to count somewhat in the beginning, as does attraction, but that doesn't make a relationship. Once someone is enslaved I also see the possibilities of liking and loving as a given. Someone in authority becomes attractive very quickly and it is quite intoxicating. I also often see many that go too far down the vanilla side of things ending up with a good vanilla relationship where the Ms fades or the love angle becomes more important and the main focus, especially long term and by that I mean 5 to 10 years, not 18 months etc. I still feel that actually having a good solid vanilla relationship is not a pre requisite for a good active Ms one and that in fact if the Ms is what is holding the one to the other this is better then a mutual dependency. When he is dependant or needs me as much as I need him or if this shows or is obvious, the power balance doesn't work for me. I have to need him more than I ever believe he needs or wants me. Debs x "Woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man." John Knox Edited 24 Mar 08, 6:32 PM by Rogers_Deb0rah 24 Mar 08, 7:34 PM 688-764-833 US, 2 yrs deb0rah wrote: When he is dependant or needs me as much as I need him or if this shows or is obvious, the power balance doesn't work for me. I have to need him more than I ever believe he needs or wants me. Debs x I completely agree. Symbiosis is one thing; that is another. It would disturb me very, very much to feel or sense that my master needs me more than I need him. I once read somewhere that in every relationship there is the lover and the beloved. Being the beloved is ultimately unfulfilling and frustrating for me. I think there's a difference between being valued and being catered to (by which I mean having the majority of things within the relationship skewed to “your” wants/needs/desires). And I'm really a terrible judge of what it is I actually do need to make me a happy, optimally-functioning person. Cheers, Leesie 25 Mar 08, 4:10 AM annieanne UK, 2 yrs Ours is psychological and emotional and sometimes wish it were a loving one. He does not feel love towards me which I find quite upsetting at times. 25 Mar 08, 10:44 PM slave2master US, 2 yrs deb0rah wrote: Getting on in MS? We were having a conversation last night and one we disagreed on. Do you have to have to get on with someone and have the basis for a relationship to have an MS relationship or to enslave them? My answer was no. Not really, you dont because as long as you actively enslave you can actually get by just fine and time can make people change and grow. I felt common ground in the interest of Ms was a major one. Rog felt that you had to have the foundation of getting on as a couple. I was curious as to what you thought? Debs xx Personally, i could never be enslaved to a Master i did not love and feel an emotional connection with. Could i go through the motions of being a slave? Yes. But my heart and soul would not be in it. Knowing that my Master loves me is very important to me because i know He has my well-being in His mind. i know that He truly cares about how i am feeling...and He always gives me an opportunity to express that to Him. i am also able to trust Him in a way i would never be able to if we did not feel love for one another. Are we a "couple"? No. Not in the sense that most people would think of as a couple. We are a couple in the realm of this world of Master/slave. It is different than a vanilla couple...but just as real, and certainly just as powerful. 26 Mar 08, 2:54 AM darkslave US, 14 mths My Master and i don't love each other. We don't need that from each. We need to be Master and slave, to use and be used. That said ... We do have an intense respect for each other. We trust one another as we trust no one else and we care deeply about the other. i am devoted to Him because of who He is, what He is and He owns me because of who i am, what i am. Love would muck it up. 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