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	SD! : Web boards : Service : "Maintaining Focus" Maintaining Focus (7) Mon 21 Apr 08, 10:53 AM Yarakot 3 yrs As slaves, it's necessary that we maintain focus on our owners, their needs, desires and goals. However, in a world of distractions that's sometimes hard. What do you do to maintain focus or to get it back when you've lost it? As an owner, if you see your slave slipping, how do you restore that focus, especially if there are legitimate reasons (combined with less legitimate reasons) for the slave's distraction? Is there a danger of over-reacting to these situations? Carolyn And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. --Erica Jong * * * Interested in meeting me or other TSR people? Come to the TSR Meet & Greet at MsC in DC (August, 2008). 21 Apr 08, 11:42 AM masterfiremaam US(AZ), 2 yrs Usually, when my girl's focus is slipping, it's an indication that life is overwhelming her. I point it out to her and let her choose to fix her life and readjust, becoming closer to me again, or to let her life control her so that she stays distant. The distancing is usually motive enough for her to do something about it. Lately, this means she's changing jobs. In actuality, she's quitting and become self employed. Master Fire "Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted *air guitar* 21 Apr 08, 11:47 AM Mistress_Tiara UK, 2 yrs My boy loses focus sometimes. If this goes unchecked he ends up trying to top from the bottom which is a sure way to displease Me. he doesn't even realise he is doing it, he just gets carried away. When this happens I just come down on him and remind him what he is - humiliation does the trick well and gets him back on track, as does the removal of privilege (the latter of which he really hates). The exception is when he loses focus on his slavery and service because of health difficulties. he suffers from severe pain sometimes and during these times I look after him and tend to cut him some slack. ~*Mistress Tiara*~ 21 Apr 08, 12:37 PM tangie US(MI), 6 yrs Maintaining a good balance of focus is an issue for me. Generally, I'm either so focused that I get into tiny minute detail and can't let it go, or so unfocused that it takes an act of god to make me stay on task. In the short term, William uses a "trigger" word. The trigger word is a specific word he has used since we first met. Originally, it was to try to voice train me for orgasm, but it was not successful. There were a lot of factors that went into it not working, but the upshot of it was that when he does give it now, the word gives me a frisson of energy; it's an "almost" kind of thing. Not an orgasm, but a realignment of attention that he has discovered will snap my focus back onto him. It's the way he says it. Sometimes I get very resentful. When I'm upset about an issue and he gives me the word, I don't want to stop. I don't want the frisson. I fight what it does to me. But I stop. On larger issues, for instance if I'm overly focusing on one project to the detriment of another, he says I'm "Garceau-ing"* after a prof. of photography I had who created a "guru block" (essentially where the guru/teacher does not want the student to surpass in abilities and intentionally misleads the student). When that happens, we just talk about it; it works to let me know what's going on. Barbara * Edited to add that she said one picture needed to be darker, so I burned it in a bit more--she said it was too dark, so I dodged it. Back and forth until I used $10 worth of paper, and in the end I had a hunch and handed in the original picture and got an A. I had spent too much time and money on the one picture. She was not accepted for tenure and left. ...For many roses have blossomed here in this garden, But no one has plucked the rose without the stab of a thorn. ~Hafiz of Shiraz Edited 21 Apr 08, 1:15 PM by tangie 21 Apr 08, 2:19 PM KamsIris 15 mths Maintaining focus is especially hard for me because of the fact that i am in a college setting and will be for a bit longer than i had hoped. However, i talk with my Master regularly, which helps, but when that is not enough, i usually do the following: 1. Jounalize - Master requires me to keep an online journal so that he has access to my thoughts, worries, frustrations, etc. that i am going through on a daily basis when we are not able to talk. Writing in a journal also helps me to release these emotions that could keep my mind cluttered and tear my attention away from the one that matters most in my life. 2. Excersising - This works wonders for me as well. i enjoy taking time out of my night to work on my belly dancing or to just walk around campus to free my mind and ponder. 3. Reflection - At night i kneel in my room and reflect on my life now that my Master has entered into it and think upon my ever deepening servitude to him. Kneeling helps in humbling myself and reminds me that Master enjoys seeing me in such a position. i have time to think and i have as much or little time as i need to gather my thoughts and center myself once more if i've veered off track. Those are just a few things that i do for myself. Others are different, though. Collared to the most wonderful Master God could ever bless me with. I will forever be devoted to you, Master Kam <3 21 Apr 08, 2:26 PM slave_emma US(OK), 2 yrs Generally all, my Master has to do to regain my focus is to say my name in “the voice”. My Master doesn't yell or raise his voice, I can recognize the tone in His voice and for whatever reason causes me to defer back to Him. If that doesn't work sometimes basic TLC is needed. Outside stress from health problems, work, family issues, and etc can have an effect on the relationship. Sometimes for me to regain my focus we just need to sit around and talk it out. My Master will advise me of the solution and that will entrust me to Him more. best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 21 Apr 08, 4:45 PM LillyMoon UK, 3 yrs I bitch, we talk, the rules get better enforced...and to be honest as soon as he realises what has been happening he snaps back. That might not be very constructive but it works for us. 21 Apr 08, 5:34 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths I only wish I knew the answer to this one. I find it hard too and tend, as Barbara says, to swing from one to the other too hard. Master will put me down on the floor, kneeling head down and crouch to hold my hair or head to talk to me, and then perhaps leave me there for a short while, to snap me out of a bad moment - or to calm me and help me focus. It takes time if I feel angry and resentful but it normally works even tho I still sometimes wonder how and why this has this effect on me. In his absence I now have a space that is designed for calm and quiet moments of thought, journalling or just to escape and feel his closeness, but I haven't had a chance to use it (we only built it yesterday) so I can't tell you if it works yet. I shall continue reading everyone's answers greedily in hope of further enlightenment myself! Thanks for yet another good subject Carolyn. anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~