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	SD! : Web boards : Practical IE : "Psychological need for take down scenes." 1 2 3 4 Psychological need for take down scenes. (35) 18 May 08, 4:07 PM jakesemma US(WA), 15 mths Y! 953-171-915 wrote: Your post and questions are truly appreciated on this topic. It certainly helped me to not feel so alone. i have never heard of the term 'take down'. Is take down different than breaking a girl? Is 'take down' a form of maintenance for a submissive? By the way, i completely understand and agree that begging for this and having a set *scene* in mind or a scenario or a list of wants in this would not be satisfying for what feelings you have described that seem similar to what i go through from time to time...to time to time...and more times...LOL Sometimes i think i exhibit specific cues to alert my Master i am feeling needy of this 'take down'. my Master rarely picks up on them. Then i am quiet about it and just try to forget about it. Then it ends up with me acting out. That gets me punished. Punishment, i have found, does not leave me with that feeling i had been seeking in the first place. The strange thing is, last night i did just that. i was frustrated with Him not picking up on my cues and then i just acted out. i am internally humiliated by my actions, because now i look back and think i wasn't cute; instead, i was annoying, unappealing, and unpleasing. *sigh* i was sent to the corner and my Owner is planning full punishment. i fear the punishment. It wasn't the feeling or "scene" i was bargaining and internally screaming for. The importance of explaining my misbehavior from last night and the punishment is to further ask, if this take down maintenance is not implimented on a semi regular basis, does a slave become well...less slave...or annoying..or misbehaved? Again, thank you for the post. It will give me something to think deeply about. -His pet I know that I do... but I also know master and I have discussed this topic enough that I am not punished for it. He knows me well enough to read my body language.. (we've been married a little over 2 years now.) And this fixes me, centers me.. yes and makes me act more slave like when it is all done... Regular playtime can hold off the need for something like this... but it doesn't fix me or do the same... After a period of time, Master can see me slowly coming undone... stress, paranoia, argumentative.. sometimes he triggers the situation long before I even realized I needed it, or tried to tell him I wanted him to help me... Once he realized/learned I wasn't acting out to be bad, he started connecting the dots, and we've talked enough for him to figure out whats going through my head enough for him to learn my non verbal cue's... my moods and other factors that lead up to my need for a situation like this.... Even 2 years later, I still need this from him... maybe someday I won't.. but, for now I do and its okay in our household... Maybe you could have your Master read this thread? That would open up the door to "talk" about this with him.... I wish you the best... and Its only been in the last 2-3 months that I let go of any guilt I had needing this myself. Regards, Jake's emma 20 May 08, 2:22 AM 953-171-915 22 mths i have already brought up this topic to my Master. He seems, at this point, to be a little perplexed by it. i, too, am confused by it. i know there is something in your post that made me *feel* something...i just can't put my finger on it yet. If i was asked to detail a scene of it, i don't think i could...perhaps this is more of an emotional thing? *soft smile*. This is definately a growing room type of topic. -His pet 20 May 08, 2:10 PM jakesemma US(WA), 15 mths Y! 953-171-915 wrote: i have already brought up this topic to my Master. He seems, at this point, to be a little perplexed by it. i, too, am confused by it. i know there is something in your post that made me *feel* something...i just can't put my finger on it yet. If i was asked to detail a scene of it, i don't think i could...perhaps this is more of an emotional thing? *soft smile*. This is definately a growing room type of topic. -His pet A lot of it is emotional... for me anyways. I shut down and he forces me to feel things again... For me, its because of the way I react to stress and snap... I shut down... inside... and he helps get me back to a normal place again... Its sort of hard to explain really.... I am sure there are things he could say that would hurt more than anything he could do to me physically, but it usually has very little talking... Normally he's pinning me down, or harassing me until I fight back, he often enjoys my fighting back and he gets something out of it when I do.. and I think he even enjoys pinning me down... the hardest time he's ever been able to hit me or hurt me is during these type of scenes... And thats really what it comes down to for me... I literally need all the stress, fear, worry, beaten out of me... and I want to feel scared while its happening... There's really no way to "fake" that.. because its the fight or flight instinct that kicks in for me... it kicks in and I shut down.. he pushes until I break and fight back.... and he doesn't let me "flee".. either physically or mentally... he keeps me here... then he holds me when its over and pets me... shows me he cares... its never ended on a traumatic note... (for me anyways.) But during it.. i hate him, I hate the world, I have a lot of anger and fear and frustration and for me, its the best outlet I've ever found to make me feel so normal afterwards... I channel it all into that few minutes (or couple hours) of undivided attention he gives me where I can act out, cry, scream, be hurt the way I need... He's gotten me to fight back.. and It took me a couple years to struggle and fight back, even in this "place" I goto when I need this, i'd worry about hurting him and I loved him to much to want to hurt him... but he slowly got me over it.. he'd push me until I'd snap and lash out at him.. and slowly proved over time I couldn't hurt him anymore than he wanted to let me..... Its made me feel safe and they've gotten better... I feel safe to get totally out of control under his power and do whatever natural animal instincts come to me and I know were both safe.... I don't really know how else to describe it... its difficult for me to put it into words... but I thought i'd take a stab at it... Regards, Jake's emma 21 May 08, 7:09 AM slaveo US(TX), 8 mths I don't have any great wisdom to add to this topic. I just want to let emma know, I understand completely. I would never be able to describe this as well as you, but I surely do understand the emotions involved. I too get to feeling shut down and I need a way to physically release the tensions that led to the shut down. They are invariably related to something triggering a negative memory from my past. I do not have a master who does take downs like you. I envy you on that point. What I do is take a large stick, much like a baseball bat, and go after a tree with all I have in me. It works as a way to let the really strong anger out so that the ohter feelings can return. Thank you for starting this topic. It has helped me immensly to know I am not alone in these feelings and shutdowns. 8 Aug 08, 4:05 PM Mistress_Tiaras_boy UK, 2 yrs R ~ Mistress Tiara's beloved boy 8 Aug 08, 8:08 PM Camille US(CA), 5 mths Lord_of_Winter wrote: I think a take-down 'scene' is the expression of dominance and submission, and it scratches an itch deep down in the reptile brain. It's the overt expression of control. That it is a 'scene' implies that both parties understand that they're engaged in it because it is a mutually enjoyable experience, and satisfying to both parties; but that it does not imply a lack of love or respect, but a deepening of these things. I was happy to read this. With the exception of "mutually enjoyable" (for us, "consensual" would be more accurate) it does describe an aspect of our relationship and it was good to see words put to a thing I had only had a sense of. Thank you. Camille 28 Aug 08, 5:05 PM jakesemma US(WA), 15 mths Y! slaveo wrote: I don't have any great wisdom to add to this topic. I just want to let emma know, I understand completely. I would never be able to describe this as well as you, but I surely do understand the emotions involved. I too get to feeling shut down and I need a way to physically release the tensions that led to the shut down. They are invariably related to something triggering a negative memory from my past. I do not have a master who does take downs like you. I envy you on that point. What I do is take a large stick, much like a baseball bat, and go after a tree with all I have in me. It works as a way to let the really strong anger out so that the ohter feelings can return. Thank you for starting this topic. It has helped me immensly to know I am not alone in these feelings and shutdowns. thats why I shared. It is also nice to know that I am not "alone" in my need for this... 29 Aug 08, 3:38 PM property_of_MacCain US(PA), 10 mths Mistress_Tiara wrote: I have a thought on this which relates to people who have been physically harmed or threatened in the past. Perhaps the need for this sort of thing is a desire to experience 'violence' and 'force' within a safe context, thus overwriting any previous traumas of this nature and allowing the submissive to know that even in a violently revisited situation ie one that is like something they have suffered in a *genuinely* violent and frightening context, their Dominant will not harm them, so the outcome cannot be the same as in the original attack. I have a theory that for some people who have experienced violent trauma, they may have a need to experience the *intensity* of the old damaging situation again, minus the original outcome of permanent damage. In this way they also actively test their Owners safety in a way that means something to them on the same primal level the original trauma did. Just My personal little thoughts. And for the record this in no way specifically aimed at you, emma This applies to me as well, after being in explosive and violent relationships in the past, where abuse was daily and there was no respect for one another in the relationship, i do crave violence still. i am ashamed to say i have struck Master in a fit of rage. Master reacted calmly and efficiently immobilized me. He did not swing with rage as i was accustom to and after calmly but forcefully controlling me, i felt relieved. Like the past was past finally. Not saying it will never come up again, i might need a refresher course, but i am in the hands of someone who can dominate me without abuse. It is the closure i've been searching for. I breathe because He allows me to, indulging Him indulges me. 29 Aug 08, 9:16 PM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs jakesemma wrote: Psychological need for take down scenes. Occasionally Master and I do a take down situation. A take down to us is real. Its real sign of domination, of power, of his strength over mine. I don't want a scene, or play, it has to be real. His hands on me have to be real, relentless. I want to feel small and humble and female and a play or scene or asking for it doesn't make me feel that way. I don't know why it is something I need, but it "centers" me in a way that no other type of play does. Preditor and Prey drive. Male Dominance over weaker Female. If it is setup, or asked for, it isn't the same, this is real emotion in a way that can't be faked or politely requested. They are many non verbal communication behaviors, that lead up to the scenario's. When I get prey like, he acts preditor like. It in a way, does require "acting out" in attention seeking behavior, not nessecarily being bad. And in our household, he doesn't consider it bad or not okay for me to communicate in this manner...he understands my behavior for what it is, and what it means. He's still always in control. But this is why I cannot "ask" for it. It isn't something you can ask for. So, the discussion question at hand is, why is there a need for take down scenes? Does anyone else relate to this need? Do other Masters understand what I am talking about in reference to this behavior, and why it works this way for a slave (not just me specifically.) I apologize for the way I wrote this yesterday and am re-writing this after discussing it with my owner. He said it was confusing to anyone who didn't know what I was talking about. My apologies. okay i've been a collared slave for over 5 years now, 4 1/2 of which my late Master/Husband was still alive - but due to promises and the faith He was clergy in, i'm commited to never serve another. But W/we were never much for the public side of BDSM/RACK, except for munches - i can count on one hand the no. of other events W/we attended with "play" involved. And, due to His Church, W/we just observed. So i hope the OP and everyone will forgive this one's ignorance when i ask what on earth is a "take-down"???? i even looked in Raven Kaldera's book's excellent glossary and didn't find this one listed- which doesn't mean it wasn't there, just that i may not have known how to look it up. So this one humbly admits that i have no idea of what is being talked about here- need more info. (Help?- GRIN!) What i've got from what i've read is that it's very Physical - may be "extreme play" - and that may be why i didn't get it. My late Master was definitely SNAG and a very gentle Dom - which was what i needed as anything else does flashback this one to past abuse via severe PTSD and would render a Dom injured or dead perhaps if i was not prepared for it. But He hated physical dominance, preferred psychological and age-play and much of the psychological dominance was done via Hypnosis and Praise, which i eat up like i ate up HIM (grin), and the giving of pleasure. Once again into the breach of my state- the state of KonFuShun (Confusion for those for whom English is a 2d language or who have dyslexia or lesdyxia or whatever it is i and Master both also had - mine with numbers mostly) j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin Edited 29 Aug 08, 9:34 PM by 662-935-655 Next page