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	SD! : Web boards : Discipline : "Y/your Opinions Please?" 1 2 3 Y/your Opinions Please? (27) 23 May 08, 4:15 PM 320-192-758 US, 20 mths JRCs_petk wrote: Should it not be an Owner's decision to choose when/how/whether to punish? I know personally that if I requested/suggested punishment my Master would view it as topping from the bottom. Being the sadist that he is he'd deny me the attention of a punishment. That in itself would have a more profound effect on me. As a slave I've learned acceptance. Accepting the fact that what happens within our relationship is not my decision, and that pushing for something I happen to want is not a good idea. My Owner's favourite catchphrase is, "Is this about Me or you?" thank you for this i was always taught that a slave hadn't even the right to ask for punishment...being mere property. as such is His/Hers to decide what if any effort to put forth. a thought for the op, maybe a bit more soul searching on the why of the behaviour and a little less titilating on the punishment? rather than beg His punishment i would beg His forgiveness. well wishes, b ~ with all that i am i love You my Beautiful Master ~ ~I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot...Anaïs Nin~ 23 May 08, 9:16 PM 953-171-915 22 mths Thank You for the thought. That is the scenario i had come to in my mind...to simply kneel and at a convenient time, simply offer a heartfelt apology for my behavior. Thanks again to all thoughts. 24 May 08, 3:04 AM 824-239-263 US, 9 mths in my own personal experiences, i have "gotten away" with quite a bit. there have been times when i've been told i will be punished and He appears to have forgotten. i do not say anything to Him. then again, there have been times that without Him saying anything to me (after Him telling me i would be punished) that i will walk over to Him and assume the position for paddling/flogging. After each of those times, we have talked and it wasn't a matter of Him forgetting but a matter of Him knowing that i truly was sorry and that i knew that what i did or said was wrong and the guilt that i carried in my heart and soul was punishment enough. i don't know if this helps or not, but perhaps your Master is of like mind. perhaps He's aware of how troubled you are and knows that that is more of a punishment for you. i do agree that you should perhaps beg Him to forgive you so that you may feel the release from what is troubling you. just my opinion. good luck 24 May 08, 5:44 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs JRCs_petk wrote: Should it not be an Owner's decision to choose when/how/whether to punish? My Owner's favourite catchphrase is, "Is this about Me or you?" And then on the other side of the coin: if a dominant informs a submissive he intends to punish her and then actually forgets about it -- forgets about something supposedly so shocking and out of line and displeasing -- is he really in control, or is he providing a facade of dominance and punishment to satisfy the submissive (and forgetting because let's face it, he doesn't give a crap)? Krista No feminist thinks men and women are exactly the same. But what we reject is the notion that the difference between men and women is that men are human and women are objects. 24 May 08, 7:24 AM JRCs_petk HK, 14 mths Y! The moment a slave starts controlling the relationship and making demands she is topping from the bottom. Effectively, the Owner is then rendered a switch. Unfortunately people do sometimes forget, something unexpected crops up (pardon the pun), and original plans for 'punishment' get deferred or cancelled. Such is life. If the forgetfulness is nothing more than simple laziness, the slave would probably have more to worry about than missing a punishment. I look for motivation in an Owner, after all, without an owner leading as an example what hope does a slave have? 24 May 08, 9:32 AM 826-659-267 US, 14 mths I too am in the same kind of postion, but my story is long and i feel horrible about it. I always thought that i would be that slave that did nothing wrong, and was never punsihed, but it comes to find out that i am wrong. Way wrong, i feel so horrible, and all i can do is promise Sir, that it wont happen again. I hope he believes me. I hope you firgure out what to do, to bring peace to your soul and heart slave jessi ~~~Sadomasochism is the purest form of love~~~ 24 May 08, 5:04 PM Ms_Valentine 8 mths little_linnet wrote: JRCs_petk wrote: Should it not be an Owner's decision to choose when/how/whether to punish? My Owner's favourite catchphrase is, "Is this about Me or you?" And then on the other side of the coin: if a dominant informs a submissive he intends to punish her and then actually forgets about it -- forgets about something supposedly so shocking and out of line and displeasing -- is he really in control, or is he providing a facade of dominance and punishment to satisfy the submissive (and forgetting because let's face it, he doesn't give a crap)? Krista In my case, I am always pleased if my sub paul reminds me should I have forgotten something like a punishment as I suffer from short term memory problems. It has been known for me to genuinely forget something out of routine like an impromptu punishment but it doesn't make me careless, thoughtless of in any way a lesser Domme. It just means I have a memory disorder which is a nuisance to live with but can be worked around with the assistance of my sub. It is his duty to help me in any way he can. 26 May 08, 3:25 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs Good point Ms Valentine and I apologize; disorders affecting memory are another issue entirely. I have to disagree with you petK about "topping from the bottom". Well, not disagree exactly because you're right that when a submissive begins having control it upsets the structure of the relationship, of course. What I disagree with is the basic concept of "topping from below" as something a genuinely controlled submissive or slave is able to do. A submissive can only take control if s/he is allowed to do so by the dominant and no amount of "topping from below" is going to get a submissive anywhere, much less disturb the relationship, with a dominant sufficiently in control and aware enough to not allow it to work. No amount of demands mean anything unless there's a subtext dictating that the demands must be *met*. And that's the dominant's field. I can remind Mr Linnet of anything as many times as you like, even remind him shrilly and shrewishly, even yell at him about something he's forgotten or make demands, and that wouldn't make me "topping from below". It would make me, respectively, either a slave communicating to the best of her ability, or a slave behaving badly (or maybe both). It doesn't matter how much I remind, yell, demand or stomp my foot because he will always do what he judges to best suit his purposes. When reminding becomes a destructive issue is in the context I outlined in y earlier post: where the submissive really *is* running the show and is required to remind the "dominant" to jump through his hoops to make her feel controlled. Krista No feminist thinks men and women are exactly the same. But what we reject is the notion that the difference between men and women is that men are human and women are objects. Edited 26 May 08, 3:26 AM by little_linnet 26 May 08, 3:55 AM JRCs_petk HK, 14 mths Y! Hi Krista, I agree to a certain degree. The point I was trying to make is that regardless of whether the Top/Owner allows it, demanding/complaining/whingeing is not exactly best slave behaviour, and certainly not the most effective way to communicate. A slave will push to top from the bottom. It's an inherent trait in most people, a survival instinct of looking out for oneself, even if only at a subconscious level. The Top/Owner has a responsibility of being proactive when responding to a sub who is pushing. If the Top/Owner becomes reactive then yes, they are losing ultimate control. The question is, when does 'communicating' become a tantrum or whingeing? The OP's motives in this case 'appear to be' (not damning them) self centric, pushing for the attention of a punishment. Whilst they may appear to 'fear' the punishment, I wouldn't hesitate to guess that a part of them is secretly looking forward to it. Hell, I know I would be. Ultimately, it is an Owner's decision as to what/when/how occurs in the relationship. The OP in this thread probably has a good idea of the communication methods that work best in their own relationship. If the OP knows that there is a valid reason as to why the punishment has been postponed, any attempts to demand the punishment would be damaging. If the OP is unsure as to why the punishment has been postponed, a polite request as to why is going to be a lot better received than a complaint/demand. Personally, yelling/complaining/being shrill with my Owner never gets me anywhere. Nor would I be happy if it did. Therefore, I adjust my behaviour. It leads to much more harmony in our home, and takes a hell of a lot less effort. The masochist says, "hurt me!" The sadist responds, "No." Next page