The Ownership Flag and Icons    [other banners]

	SD! : Web boards : Discipline : "Y/your Opinions Please?" 1 2 3 Y/your Opinions Please? (27) 29 Jun 08, 8:53 PM Property US, 10 mths Apologies work wonders. ~property www.ownedbymyhusband.blogspot.com 30 Jun 08, 12:24 AM subsfaith UK, 3 yrs 953-171-915 wrote: Sometimes my Master forgets about punishing me for things i might have done. Sometimes i bring them to His attention...and sometimes i slip by them. <snipped> If I had done something to earn a punishment I sure wouldn't remind him that he has forgotten. How can you be sure he has forgotten and not made an active decision to not punish you? How do you know that he is so pleased to be actually seeing you face to face that he doesn't want to spoil HIS time being reminded of your poor behaviour? Telling him 'You have forgotten' is saying 'I think you are that incompetent, you cannot remember that I displeased and hurt you so much that I deserve punishing', or 'I don't trust you to follow through with your words without my help.' Both options are emasculating and disrespectful not to mention placing all blame on him. 953-171-915 wrote: But i also don't want to continue to carry the ache in my heart that i got away with being mouthy and beligerent to my Owner. Again, how can be sure you have got away with it? And do you really want to be belligerent again by crawling with the belt between your teeth? Forcing him to make a decision, to beat you with it or, or remove the punishment. Whatever he decides, you will just have criticism his behaviour and topped him in one quick call. Just my opinion.... Faith Edited 30 Jun 08, 12:29 AM by subsfaith 30 Jun 08, 12:18 PM Blush4Him US, 8 mths JRCs_petk wrote: The moment a slave starts controlling the relationship and making demands she is topping from the bottom. Effectively, the Owner is then rendered a switch. Unfortunately people do sometimes forget, something unexpected crops up (pardon the pun), and original plans for 'punishment' get deferred or cancelled. Such is life. If the forgetfulness is nothing more than simple laziness, the slave would probably have more to worry about than missing a punishment. I look for motivation in an Owner, after all, without an owner leading as an example what hope does a slave have? I've never understood why simply expressing thoughts, requests, or reminders even would be considered "controlling the relationship and making demands." I think it's all in the how the request/reminder, etc is worded and the tone, etc. I keep seeing the "topping from the bottom" as a judgment placed on anything that doesn't fall into robotic "yes, Sir." 30 Jun 08, 9:42 PM sclavus_princess US, 7 mths Master and i have a opinion on this subject and i asked him to discuss the subject w/ me so that i was clear on His feelings before i posted. Tha subject of asking or reminding of a looming punishment comes to the context in which the slave is reminding or asking, if a slave is asking for her punishments to get it out of the way so she can due something else or evan if she is such a masochist then it isn't really a punishment, she is definitely topping from the bottom. In my case if i were to bring the belt in my mouth to my Master, He would know that i would be doing it in the context that i was very remorseful and was pleading for absolution and in no means would be trying to top from the bottom but rather He would see it as a sign of my submission and understanding of my role as His slave.... Much Respect, sclavus princess Edited 30 Jun 08, 9:44 PM by sclavus_princess 1 Jul 08, 1:50 AM obielax US(OH), 9 mths Y! Hello 953-171-915, Before my pet and I started 24/7 D/s we had established a system of penance to be used if one or the other did something "out of bounds". Early on I cruised over a hard limit of my pet's (I was not thinking/just not paying attention) and I hurt her. Once she made me aware of what I had done I felt miserable. No permanent damage was done and she was willing to forgive me but I felt more was nessiary I offered a punishment and told her why I felt that it was nessary and appropate. She acceceped and we finished the proccess. (also conferming she IS a sadist, OW!!! ) More reascently, during some breath play she ran up against some SERIOUS emotional "buttons" and bailed out of the scene in an inappropate manner.( I quote, "I'll kill you if you don't stop!!!") My inclination was not to be too severe. To me, to punish emotions is counter productive to honest and open interaction. My upset was that she let emotion distract her from safety in not using her safe word. Because of how she reacted and because of what she said she felt that she had not lived up to what she had pledged to herself or to me, and wanted a harsher punishment than I felt was warrented. I acceped her view in the interest of (her) balance.I could see that untill she suffered to match the insult that W/we had suffered from her actions she would feel blocked. In this I am sure there was no intent to top from the bottom. (I have allowed her the privlage of training me as a service top. She has years more experance than I in how to swing what at where and when.(also how hard and allthough she's a pain slut she still doesn't like what I conceder light) I feel comfortable in the fact that the punishment for bypassing the safeword procedture will grow exposhinily. I will NOT let her jepordise herself. With her formal collaring later this month she MUST and WILL understand that "no" will not exist in her vocabulary after that. Sorry for the rambling, I'm still processing this myself so its kinda fresh in my mind. The best advice I could give you, is to think about how you will feel about it going forward. Would getting away with it/getting off light advance where you want to go in what your doing with your Sir or will it become a regret? Conversly, will paying a high price/pushing for more be more distructive in the long run? I hope that you find the path that leads to Y/your happiness. Obie Say what you mean, mean what you say. Edited 1 Jul 08, 1:51 AM by obielax 1 Jul 08, 5:38 AM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs my Master knew that it was more of a punishment to ignore me than to actually punish me and that i put myself through ye olde wringer psychologically far worse than anything He could do to me - so His policy was to let me stew on it. Invariably when i asked forgiveness it was granted, FOR ME, He was a great man, a giant and both those Ph.D's didn't hurt Him none in understanding human and slave behavior on my part. i miss Him! See i can keep it short - i can, i can!!! L O L !!!!!!!!!!!!! j/L Papa's owned always: still proud to be wearing His ring and COLLAR, rest in peace beloved Husband AND MASTER! 1 Jul 08, 9:40 AM MasterTJs_lil1bebe US(IA), 6 mths JRCs_petk wrote: Should it not be an Owner's decision to choose when/how/whether to punish? I know personally that if I requested/suggested punishment my Master would view it as topping from the bottom. Being the sadist that he is he'd deny me the attention of a punishment. That in itself would have a more profound effect on me. As a slave I've learned acceptance. Accepting the fact that what happens within our relationship is not my decision, and that pushing for something I happen to want is not a good idea. My Owner's favourite catchphrase is, "Is this about Me or you?" bebe agrees with petk MasterTJ's_lil1bebe 23 Jul 08, 8:26 PM Melens_rayne US, 2 yrs Well... obviously I'm late to the game since you posted this in May, but I think in this situation I would talk to my owner and ask him which he prefers first. Then make my decision based on that. My reason behind this is I've encountered two types of men with regard to this subject: those who wish to be informed of a submissive's transgression and asked for punishment and those who wish to notice the transgression on their own and decide for themselves whether or not the submissive should be punished.