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	SD! : Web boards : Website help : "What the fuck, people?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 What the fuck, people? (73) 23 May 08, 5:35 PM godless US(TX), 21 mths Y! little_linnet wrote: We have the same vocal handful of people in long distance and online relationships, posting as if they have anything useful to contribute to discussions about actual enslavement. We have the same vocal handful of fantasists and people who have had nothing at all but a string of kinky boyfriends and girlfriends but refer to their experiences as "slavery" and "owning slaves". Eesh - what a thing to come back to after finals. I think this thread really exemplified what Krista (and others) are frustrated about. There is a group of people who have been on this board for a while that *know* what *actual enslavement* means - and that it can't happen online or in an LDR. This isn't to say that LDR and online relationships are not valid, serious, real or anything else. Simply, if you are not in a live-in 24/7 enslavement-oriented relationship, there are somethings that simply can't be commented on. Seriously, imagine this board was completely vanilla, and Tanos had started this board for married couples. There are a number of married couples that are in their 3rd decade of marriage that post often. There are more somewhere in their 5th-10th year of marriage. Suddenly, there are people who have been dating their partner for 2 weeks coming on and giving advice to the people who have been married for 30-odd years. It sounds a little off. And that's why some people are frustrated. This isn't to say that *we* want to kick off anyone who is *only* dating - we realize that this board is a good educational ground for those who eventually "want to be married" or "are engaged" so-to-speak. However, coming back to SD - it's like we were the vanilla board and our term for "10+ year, monogamous, committed, live-in, with two-kids-and-a-dog marriage" was *committed relationship.* However, there are new people who don't know that that is what *committed relationship* means, and so if Krista says "gee, I wish that all of the people who aren't in committed relationships would stop trying to tell me what to do" suddenly everyone says "OMG just because I've only been dating my boyfriend for 4 months doesn't mean I'm not in a committed relationship grrrrr." Language breakdown once again. Please try to understand that if you were hurt or offended by the LDR/online comment that it was (and Krista can correct me) a misunderstanding about longtime TSR terminology. P.S. Can someone memo me a synopsis of what has happened in the few weeks I've been gone? Please and thank you "You don't love a girl because she's beautiful. You love a girl because she sings a song that only you can understand" - L.J Smith "Dark World" 23 May 08, 7:55 PM 320-192-758 US, 20 mths just my observances seems to me that there are two seperate issues at play here first the infighting and sore feelings among the old posters. surely this isn't blamed on the opening of the messageboard to online and long distance relationships. but perhaps in the minds of some that helps to ease their conscience. so be it. ~nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists acim~ personally i believe that any sub or Master/Mistress worth their salt have served and dominated respectively (if they have any age on them... lol no i won't make any cracks about kids these days though it does make you think) and it really doesn't matter much to me what they've called it. marriage, weekend arse slapping, kinky boyfriends/girlfriends, experience is experience there's always something to garner, sometimes even a new, fresh perspective =) i would always seek to recognize what rings as truth and helps me to be a better girl for Him regardless of that posters professed age, colour, creed, relationship status or lack thereof etc. i have the utmost compassion for those of you who have been here some time and perceive that these changes are not for the better. i would join with you in the hope that your friends will return after taking a breather. oftentimes needed in online life. growing rarely feels comfortable when it's paining us, but it is i believe right and good. bless you Tanos Sir for opening to a broader range of souls willing to share. i now feel welcome to post here and that's a marvelous thing. though you can't ever replace those that have gone, i am certain that they would want you to take from them what was given and carry on. i have always found these boards a source of comfort and inspiration in my journey, i don't expect that to change. i wish you All sweet peace blessings, b ~ with all that i am i love You my Beautiful Master ~ ~I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot...Anaïs Nin~ 23 May 08, 8:05 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs Look at that. Even *this* thread has become a platform for insecure people to whine about how justified their place on these boards are and how mean it is to challenge their self-centric view of the universe. People, it's not all about you. I don't care if I seem to be doing everything but post your phone number and address; it's still not all about you. Now, if you really feel that the things I said DESCRIBE you; if you really feel I was hitting too close to tender flesh for your comfort; well, then, I suggest silicone lube in assisting the shoe to fit. And once you've got it on, maybe you can shut up and let the rest of us discuss. Krista No feminist thinks men and women are exactly the same. But what we reject is the notion that the difference between men and women is that men are human and women are objects. 23 May 08, 8:22 PM Chastiser UK, 8 yrs Y! lili wrote: Hi, I understand you being fed up. I too was quite shocked, but to be honest I was most shocked by the fact that people who have been around for a long time have chosen to leave without really saying why. (IMO it would have been nice for at least one person to fill us in on what's going on. As it is, we know nothing about what's happened.) Anyway, nothing ever stays the same forever, things change, people change and relationships change....that's life (and this is still, don't forget, only a website.) lili x I posted this on another thread, which explains why at least one person has left..... issy asked permission to delete her profile and i gave it. she has felt less and less comfortable with tsr, and felt/feels it is becoming more like i/c, which she left some time ago due to the state of some of the posts/posters there. perhaps the thread in question brought things to a head, but it wasnt the only reason for wishing to leave. she also disliked the change to the new name and format too. issy is still in contact with some via e mail, those that see this as a lifestyle/lifetime commitment, that she considers friends. .................. Mike Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow. Taking part in the Macmillan 4x4 charity event in 2008. please donate to this http://www.justgiving.com/teameuropcar 23 May 08, 8:44 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 2 yrs little_linnet wrote: Look at that. Even *this* thread has become a platform for insecure people to whine about how justified their place on these boards are and how mean it is to challenge their self-centric view of the universe. People, it's not all about you. I don't care if I seem to be doing everything but post your phone number and address; it's still not all about you. Now, if you really feel that the things I said DESCRIBE you; if you really feel I was hitting too close to tender flesh for your comfort; well, then, I suggest silicone lube in assisting the shoe to fit. And once you've got it on, maybe you can shut up and let the rest of us discuss. Krista It's simple - LDR/ online relationships etc are a different thing to live in relationships. Even if they are considered to be equally as valid to the people involved in them, but they are a different thing. That is why Tanos gave LDR/ online relationships separate boards. I regret posting the 'Limits' thread on Website Help as this is a board that allows people from both live in relationships and online/ LDR relationships to participate (I did so as it semed the best place for the topic) but it seems to Me that this just leads to endless discussion on the importance or validity of these completely different lifestyles, which will essentially never be resolved and is hijacking an excessive number of threads. To the members of this board in online/ LDR relationships, I wish you well, I hope you are happy. Just dont keep telling people who live an M/s life with their partner it is the same, as the difference in thinking that causes so many disputes here just highlights the fact that it obviously is not the same! *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 23 May 08, 9:03 PM Tanos UK, 11 yrs Y! 320-192-758 wrote: first the infighting and sore feelings among the old posters. surely this isn't blamed on the opening of the messageboard to online and long distance relationships. but perhaps in the minds of some that helps to ease their conscience. so be it. I'm sorry you've got the impression that the purpose of the discussion boards here has changed. It's always been the case that there has been a board where online BDSM has been on topic, but that was Other Topics (which is now Off Topic.) The new Online & LDR, SM/Bondage and Sex & Fetishes boards are really extensions of Other Topics, not a broadening of the purpose of the site. All of those boards are really places to move threads which aren't on topic for the main boards. To try to clarify this for new users, I've removed threads on those boards from the Active Topics page. Users can of course use the Your Boards page to see whichever selection of the M/s, D/s, and BDSM boards they want. Regards, Tanos www.tanos.org.uk 23 May 08, 9:30 PM 688-764-833 US, 2 yrs I am honestly confused. I am not trying to be derogatory or inflammatory but I am honestly wondering why people come *here*, to this site, as opposed to say, CollarMe. Why come to a site primarily dedicated to, as is written at the head of most topic boards, “real-life M/s and 24/7 D/s relationships. Please try to follow the definitions in the SD! Wiki when writing posts. (Online relationships are off-topic for this board.)” unless you want to learn about actual real life 24/7 M/s or D/s relationships? “Learning about”, to, me, is different from insisting all types of relationships are the same. Why come here and dilute this resource? This insistence on all relationships being equal is misplaced, I think, and stems from insecurity. If you are not 24/7 you are not being judged for being in the relationship you are in: no one is saying that one particular way is better but people in the 24/7 M/s or D/s relationships have precious few places to post with like-minded people whereas the rest of the spectrum have many choices. I came here because once he became my master, my master wanted me to read about, and interact with, people in live-in M/s relationships because that's where we were headed and I knew nothing about them. For the most part I read and learned. Where I thought I could give advice I did, advice based on my limited experience. As I never purported that my experience equaled those in established live-in relationships, I was always made to feel welcome and my contributions valid. What I've seen is that all people are welcome as long as they do not misrepresent themselves or try to negate the reality that IE does exist, that some people do live with no limits and cannot walk away, and that they are happy; it works for them. I, too, have watched this board change with growing dismay. I hope it is transitory. Leesie 24 May 08, 12:31 AM jewel_1010 US(MI), 9 mths Y! little_linnet wrote: What the fuck, people? . We have the same vocal handful of people in long distance and online relationships, posting as if they have anything useful to contribute to discussions about actual enslavement. I'm fed up. Krista I have only joined the registry recently but have found the information and conversations very informative. I had even intended to ask for some assistance regarding gags, favorites and least favorites. However, since I am one of those, who for the next few months, am relegated to that disgusting group of "long distance" people, it's obvious anything I have to say is worthless. So be it, Krista jewel 24 May 08, 12:57 AM Master_Teel US(TX), 18 mths What is it with all the drama queens? No one is saying that you're input is not valid, and certainly no one is saying that you don't have the right to ask questions. What is being said is that you please show a little respect and decorum when it comes to replying to a thread that you may not have a total understanding about, because it specifically deals with an issue related to 24/7 live-in relationships. If I were to tell me slave over the phone to flog herself, and she told me no, what am I going to do? Drive across the planet and flog her myself? No? Because that's exactly what I would do if my pet told me no (and believe me, she's tried it). Except that I need only walk across the room to accomplish it. This whole chest beating episode about "my input is valid too!" seems very misdirected. While online and LDR relationships do have experience, they are *NOT* the same experiences that live-in relationships have. For this reason, the large influx of recent new people (myself included, I might add), seem to be in such a hurry to contribute to the community and recognized, that they're failing to get a handle on what exactly the comminity is before participating, and replying to threads with experiences that may not apply. Part of this may be due to the fact that looking at the "Active threads" listing makes it very easy to end up in a forum that you never intended to read in the first place. Read, Understand, and then Contribute. Ask questions if you don't understand. But beating your chest and yelling "Listen to me, because I'm right" is only going to give people the opposite opinion. It's truly saddening to look down the left hand column in any particular thread these days and see very few posters that have more than 1-2 years accumulated. The "long standing members" of the community appear to be mostly absent. It does happen, and I've seen it all too often before in online forums. I sincerely hope that we can get through this phase and come out better for it on the other side, but the members need to stop throwing themselves on the floor and having a tantrum if that's ever going to happen. Master_Teel Use Google to search TSR: http://www.google.com/advanced_search?q=+site:sl... 24 May 08, 1:08 AM jewel_1010 US(MI), 9 mths Y! Master Teel- Thank you for pointing out to me my hastily written words. While I have attempted to keep my few posts respectful, this one was the perfect example of what Kristy spoke of. I apologize to all for my inappropriate response and it will not happen again. jewel Next page