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	SD! : Web boards : Website help : "What the fuck, people?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 What the fuck, people? (73) 24 May 08, 2:48 AM 320-192-758 US, 20 mths Tanos wrote: 320-192-758 wrote: first the infighting and sore feelings among the old posters. surely this isn't blamed on the opening of the messageboard to online and long distance relationships. but perhaps in the minds of some that helps to ease their conscience. so be it. I'm sorry you've got the impression that the purpose of the discussion boards here has changed. It's always been the case that there has been a board where online BDSM has been on topic, but that was Other Topics (which is now Off Topic.) The new Online & LDR, SM/Bondage and Sex & Fetishes boards are really extensions of Other Topics, not a broadening of the purpose of the site. All of those boards are really places to move threads which aren't on topic for the main boards. To try to clarify this for new users, I've removed threads on those boards from the Active Topics page. Users can of course use the Your Boards page to see whichever selection of the M/s, D/s, and BDSM boards they want. Regards, Tanos though that wasn't the reasoning of the paragraph quoted you are right Tanos Sir i did misunderstand and i apologize to you and to the members. i was told that tsr had been opened and that it might be a good place to go while my Master was away. i will only post where permitted in the future. well wishes, b ~I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot...Anaïs Nin~ 24 May 08, 3:27 AM 902-660-194 US(PA), 3 yrs ya know..you can always choose to leave krista. it seems you feel there are only a couple people worth being here & the rest are just pains to you. of course i always got that vibe from you but..oh well..life goes on right? the sting of His whip~ the welts from His crop~ the warmth of His kiss~ the click of the lock~ assures me i am His most cherished possession. 24 May 08, 3:45 AM 403-930-468 US(VA), 9 mths 902-660-194 thank you you spoke my feelings exactly and way to go too. but, oh well life does go on and chin up 902-660-194. tracey Master reads and approves all posts she writes and may edit or delete if possible any post she writes, she has no secrets from her Master and is totally honest with Him and has no need to lie to her Master. Like wise her Master Has seen her profile and approved it. 24 May 08, 12:02 PM luna_lux US, 12 mths Y! 688-764-833 wrote: I came here because once he became my master, my master wanted me to read about, and interact with, people in live-in M/s relationships because that's where we were headed and I knew nothing about them. For the most part I read and learned. Where I thought I could give advice I did, advice based on my limited experience. As I never purported that my experience equaled those in established live-in relationships, I was always made to feel welcome and my contributions valid. What I've seen is that all people are welcome as long as they do not misrepresent themselves or try to negate the reality that IE does exist, that some people do live with no limits and cannot walk away, and that they are happy; it works for them. I, too, have watched this board change with growing dismay. I hope it is transitory. Leesie this pretty much defines my reasons for being here as well. i'm not in a live-in situation. but it's a possibility, and the conversations i've found and read and studied on TSR were incredibly helpful as i move along my own path. i didn't realize that some folks meant the board to be only for folks who were *already there*. that's a pretty exclusionary perspective to those of us really interested in finding out more about this lifestyle. it's kind of hard to figure out how to do it all healthily and positively and all that without any reference points. i'm not saying it *can't* be exclusionary, because by all means - anyone has the right to join whatever club they want - but wow, that's pretty sad. 24 May 08, 12:43 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs Mistress_Tiara wrote: To the members of this board in online/ LDR relationships, I wish you well, I hope you are happy. Just dont keep telling people who live an M/s life with their partner it is the same, as the difference in thinking that causes so many disputes here just highlights the fact that it obviously is not the same! MT, look..seriously. Have you ever 'been' in and LDR/onliner? I have. Analogy for ya.. When someone stubs their toe, it bloody hurts right? When they have a car crash and need that foot cut off, the toe 'isn't there'.. BUT the pain is very real to them, even though the thing is detached It is utterly wrong for anyone to cast aspersions on who, what or why it's wrong to have something in someone's life; we're all different after all. For the validity of a forum looking to tolerate a great many people in different lifestyles, this kind of opinion is just so intolerant it's unreal. Fine, it may not be the same to you , but i can assure you it's every bit the same to them. Leave them be, huh? Maybe they like it like that. Sean Master's l'il one®(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 24 May 08, 12:43 PM sub_way UK, 2 yrs 902-660-194 wrote: ya know..you can always choose to leave krista. it seems you feel there are only a couple people worth being here & the rest are just pains to you. of course i always got that vibe from you but..oh well..life goes on right? i'll second that. everyones opinion has some validity, take onboard that what you want, ignore what you dont. but, do you have to keep attacking the ppl who you dont agree with? 24 May 08, 2:08 PM JRCs_petk HK, 14 mths Y! MasterS70 wrote: Mistress_Tiara wrote: To the members of this board in online/ LDR relationships, I wish you well, I hope you are happy. Just dont keep telling people who live an M/s life with their partner it is the same, as the difference in thinking that causes so many disputes here just highlights the fact that it obviously is not the same! MT, look..seriously. Have you ever 'been' in and LDR/onliner? I have. Analogy for ya.. When someone stubs their toe, it bloody hurts right? When they have a car crash and need that foot cut off, the toe 'isn't there'.. BUT the pain is very real to them, even though the thing is detached It is utterly wrong for anyone to cast aspersions on who, what or why it's wrong to have something in someone's life; we're all different after all. For the validity of a forum looking to tolerate a great many people in different lifestyles, this kind of opinion is just so intolerant it's unreal. Fine, it may not be the same to you , but i can assure you it's every bit the same to them. Leave them be, huh? Maybe they like it like that. Masters70, This response in written in conjunction with my Master. MT was not castigating those in Online/LD relationships. She was merely pointing out the differences between Online/LDR and 24/7, as MANY of us have tried to explain. MT did NOT resort to personal attacks. Why single her out? More fool you, for singling out one of the most genuine, realistic, level headed members of this community. MT has years of experience, her sound advice is based upon her experience and her viewpoint. You've been here a few months, after switching from being a sub. You're castigating a respectable member of this community who speaks from years of real life experience. Whose advice would I take more readily? Silly question. The quickest way to lose respect in this community is to openly criticise another who is simply trying to help. Edited 24 May 08, 2:17 PM by JRCs_petk 24 May 08, 2:30 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths Good grief! I hardly know where to start but I'll try with this... Saying that the topics on SOME of the boards here are meant to discuss 24/7 real life, live in, M/s relationships, IE or TPE... is NOT excluding anyone! There are boards here now where those struggling with the challenges of long-distance relationships can talk to others who are facing the same challenges. There are boards for sex and fetish talk, and all sorts of other things, not to mention a whole world of sites out there full of more broad bdsm discussions. All that is said is that SD!, or TSR as it was, was created to provide a place for those who are in M/s relationships to meet and discuss issues, theories, whatever relating to their small part of the lifestyle. No-one ever said that one group was better than another or that one group's opinions have less value than another's. What they are saying is that this TINY corner of the internet is where we can come and discuss with those who understand a certain subset of issues. It's not closed, it's not excluding anyone. It is asked that you respect what is and is not on topic for each board!!! Is it so much to ask that a very tiny minority of the lifestyle have a corner where they can talk to others who understand? And that those who are not in that minority are careful of how they join in - ie don't offer advice which is based on a different kind of relationship or a different experience? How would you feel in your D/s relationship - LDR or online - if someone offered advice who had no understanding of the dynamic between you and your top at all? Either with or without acknowledging their different perspective or perhaps even refusing entirely to accept that the relationships on which they are basing their advice are different. ... or it was suddenly full of people proclaiming the equal validity of their relationships which are different to yours? ...followed by the discussion then breaking down into a diatribe against you because you want to talk about something those offering advice know nothing about so you're elitist and excluding them. Well this happens all the time. Not on the LDR and online threads - but on the M/s threads. Because people either don't or won't allow those discussions to stay on topic. This place is a wonderful resource for those of us living M/s relationships, AND those who are interested, heading that way and temporarily LD or online, and those who are entirely new to the lifestyle and wanting to learn. But there won't be anything to learn if we make it a place where the very people who are already there are not here sharing their experiences. NO-ONE is entitled to that resource. NO-ONE has to share their lives with you. NO-ONE should have to keep policing these boards and asking over and over for people to stay on topic on the M/s only boards and getting abuse for it. If they all leave - the value most people find here will not exist so it's not okay! Krista is right. How come she is not allowed to vent her frustration and pain? How come THAT is somehow unacceptable when so much and so many differences and experiences and stories are greeted with respect and openness? Shame! I feel ashamed of this place right now. But you know what? I am damn well not letting you have it! I am NOT letting the hoards take this place and its people from me and those who I have come to value as friends and role-models and companions on a journey we share. AND YES... That includes some people who are NOT in M/s relationships yet! I value anyone here who is genuinely interested and who has things of value to share and does it in a way which respects those around them. The rest I try hard to ignore but there are times when we need to draw a line in the sand and tell those who are intolerant and refuse to acknowledge other's needs to suck it up or bugger off and find a new playground in which to whine or taunt and bully or thrust yourselves on people. Can we please be a little more tolerant and mindful of the purpose of SD!? I too am deeply unhappy at the loss of some who I looked up to, enjoyed talking to and felt were friends, and feeling increasingly disturbed... and yes, sidelined, by this strident assertion of equality when all we are arguing for is diversity! anjuli Edited to add. AND it took me so long to write that and put it up that further attacks on Krista and Mistress Tiara have happened meantime! FFS people can you not read what people are writing without making every single opinion about you and your lifestyle? Neither of these people were attacking others in different lifestyles. Krista is upset and trying to hold onto something she valued... and MT, well it beggars belief that her post could really be so misread. Are people seriously that insecure? I find it hard to believe but at the end of the day, I'm sorry, that's tough. The bits of this board that are for M/s are for M/s ONLY and LDR and online relationships are off-topic. You don't like it? Tough. And incidentally, I have some experience of online as well as real life. I also lived apart from my Master for some time, including a few months spent on the other side of the world, and I KNOW they are different. Not theory, not prejudice, real hard-earned knowledge. You know what? It makes me more open to the understanding of how real online relationships can be but not to the idea that you can simply by force of attacking and pushing people out by dint of numbers, take this board over and rewrite the rule to suit you where you don't like them. I am beginning to not care whether people can understand that or not. Please just let us have one place we can stick to our type of relationship and stay away if you cannot bear to see a discussion you feel shut out of? ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ Edited 24 May 08, 3:36 PM by anjuli 24 May 08, 3:16 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs JRCs_petk wrote: You've been here a few months, after switching from being a sub. You're castigating a respectable member of this community who speaks from years of real life experience. Whose advice would I take more readily? Silly question. Actually, I've been here 5 years, but they're only months too after all (60 of them) Check here . I merely pointed the comment at MT because she made it, it's that simple. Nothing more, nothing less. And for what it's worth, I wasn't a sub, I was a slave, but hey, what would I know, I was just LIVING HERE, were YOU? More fool me! Gah! Holy fuckin' hell, will you people get a GRIP! It had nothing to do with disrespect or castigation at all. It had EVERYTHING to do with each and everyone one of us being allowed to have a self-imporantly justifiable opinion without fear of retribution by someone else, who obviously knows that much about 'everything' to suggest how something does or does not feel to someone else. It's that simple. Kinda reminds me actually, I need an appointment at My Opthalmologists..seems you lot missed that point entirely. Think about that real close. Don't so much as waste precious finger power over a response, because I won't be lowering Myself to this thread again. I merely set YOU straight on how long I'd been here. Facts are always good I find. Sean Master's l'il one®(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 24 May 08, 3:46 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 2 yrs MasterS70 wrote: It is utterly wrong for anyone to cast aspersions on who, what or why it's wrong to have something in someone's life; we're all different after all.... For the validity of a forum looking to tolerate a great many people in different lifestyles, this kind of opinion is just so intolerant it's unreal.... Fine, it may not be the same to you , but i can assure you it's every bit the same to them. Leave them be, huh? Maybe they like it like that. and . I did not question the validity of LDR's, I specifically stated that they may be 'equally valid' in the following part of My post - "Even if they are considered to be equally as valid to the people involved in them, but they are a different thing". My point, as quoted below, was that to endlessly discuss the validity fo different set up's gets no-one anywhere; "it seems to Me that this just leads to endless discussion on the importance or validity of these completely different lifestyles, which will essentially never be resolved and is hijacking an excessive number of threads". I explicitly stated that again here; "the difference in thinking that causes so many disputes here just highlights the fact that it obviously is not the same!" People do indeed have different lives - you yourself state that this forum is made of "a great many people in different lifestyles". I never said anyones lifestyle was wrong or bad or less valid, I used the same word you did 'different'. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* Next page