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	SD! : Web boards : Website help : "What the fuck, people?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 What the fuck, people? (73) 24 May 08, 8:50 PM lili UK, 8 yrs Y! Steve_Vakesh wrote: lili wrote: I understand you being fed up. I too was quite shocked, but to be honest I was most shocked by the fact that people who have been around for a long time have chosen to leave without really saying why. (IMO it would have been nice for at least one person to fill us in on what's going on. As it is, we know nothing about what's happened.) This is not entirely correct. Carolyn left you her contact information and you could have used it, as she suggested, if you had questions. With respect, Carolyn said quite clearly in her memo that it was nothing to do with us, and there was nothing we could do to fix it. Generally speaking if I receive a memo like that I'd not be inclined to pry as to her reasons for leaving (assuming, knowing Carolyn over the years, that if there was something she wanted to share she would have done so.) But it wasn't really Carolyn my response here was aimed at. Steve_Vakesh wrote: As to why folks left, I can only speak for a few of us because this was not a coordinated decision. Different people left for different reasons, though all of these are related to the unpleasant 'sociopaths' thread (and since Tanos participated in that thread and presumably read what I wrote there, I remain uncertain as to what more explanation he requires). I think it's simply that we find it a little difficult to believe that a thread instigated and perpetuated by someone who is obviously not a Sociopath could have caused such a mass exodus (and as you've said, people left for different reasons, so in that respect we were correct.) lili "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." (Abraham Lincoln) 24 May 08, 9:00 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 2 yrs lili wrote: I think it's simply that we find it a little difficult to believe that a thread instigated and perpetuated by someone who is obviously not a Sociopath could have caused such a mass exodus (and as you've said, people left for different reasons, so in that respect we were correct.) lili I understand that you believe that, but I have had a HUGE number of emails and memos from people saying how uncomfortable that episode made them. A lot of these people have never contacted Me before, and took the trouble to trace Me via My yahoo ID, which is a lot of trouble for people to go to. To people who did not take it seriously, or consider it worrying it may seem trivial. A lot of people really were upset or worried though. They are/ were not trying to be nasty, or unkind, just saying they genuinely felt things had gone too far. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 24 May 08, 9:04 PM Sir4Ryco 2 yrs Hi All, Well I'm feeling a bit tired after mowing my lawn and trimming my hedge. It was hot out so I'm sweating and I'm very thirsty. I was wondering if anyone out there felt the same after mowing their virtual lawn this morning? I have a fence to paint and I'm really wishing it was a virtual fence . . . a couple of mouse clicks here and there and then . . . finished . . . problem solved. I wouldn't have to deal with slivers while scraping it, the heat while painting it, or the paint that might splash on my shoes or pants. I'm waiting to see if this ridiculous system of emotional liberalism begins to rule the military. I can see it now . . . me being forced to place a virtual section commander in charge of real soldiers. I can hear my party line explanation, "Sgt. Blank has been leading a virtual section for the last three years and in that time he has faced virtual artillery, virtual machine-gun fire, he has assaulted hundreds of virtual hills and houses, led in every virtual terrain, and fed thousands of virtual warring factions." I'm more than sure that every hand in the section would shoot up and that the first question would be, "You mean you're putting a Sargent in charge of us who hasn't led a real unit across real ground, who hasn't motivated real soldiers in real situations, who hasn't dealt with the real stress while in actual command, commanded while completely exhausted, felt a real bullet pass a few feet from his face and actually dealt with the real fear . . . (I'm sure you get the point)?" To which I would reply, "Yes." I'm more than certain that the next question (especially if we were about to go operational) would be, "How do I get out of this unit, Sir?" I attended a 66th wedding anniversary last night and I'm sorry to say that I wouldn't have been nearly as impressed by the accomplishment if I had been informed that it was only an online marriage. I can hear the speeches now, "John and Beth have been my virtual friends for years now and they have weathered every virtual problem that can be thrown at an online marriage. They have stuck it out through power outages, changing communication programs . . . everything that virtual life can throw at them . . ." Perhaps monitors could be set up at the head table and they could throw online kisses at each other every time glasses were clinked. Hopefully the food wouldn't be online as well. I think I have flogged the dead horse enough. To say that online slavery and real life slavery are the same is ridiculous. The problems faced are completely different, the commitment is different, the relationship itself is different (let me reach out and touch my slave to see if I'm right . . . can you believe that she just told me my hand was cold?). Add in mortgage, extended family dropping by, children, friends, pets, yard work, dishes, bad moods . . . and the dynamic and its solutions change drastically. While I have occasionally wished that she could, my slave can't be shut off as easily as the average computer. I'm sorry if this is hurting people's feelings out there but my slave and I are knit together in our relationship in a manner that is much more intimate than any onliner could hope for. We share each other and our lives everyday regardless of the electrical situation and regardless of whether or not we feel like it today. There is no easy dodge. By that same token I do believe that people can fall in love with each other over the net/mail, that they can share secrets, that they can make commitments to the relationship . . . but in the end they aren't in a real life relationship until they have met. They may find that they can't stand each other in real life because a myriad of problems can crop up that may never show themselves online (halitosis, bad sex, a growth under their arm, the Master not knowing how to use real rope . . .). I think that great relationships can start online I simply don't believe that they are actual M/s relationships until they are face to face and I don't believe that they are complete until the participants can actually touch each other (unless someone here can convince me that wanking is as fun as actual sex). Even Freud held that 'the most un-natural human sexual act was to have none' and those who don't experience actual physical contact in their sexuality are not having actual sex . . . they are simply playing at it and I would assume hoping for it to become real sometime in their future. I read all the various threads on subjects that interest me and I actually don't know who is in which specific relationship dynamic . . . I tend to read and hope for good advice from every writer (I'm a lover of different lenses for viewing reality). I've just found that when a person is way off in left field with advice that simply wouldn't work in real time 24/7 M/s they are almost alway involved in an online relationship. I hope that no one else chooses to leave theses boards (while I know he can defend himself . . . please don't ask MasterS70 to leave again) but I also hope that people choose to act like experts on those subjects for which they have actual expertise. Sir4Ryco Blake wrote, "The eagle never lost so much time. as when he submitted to learn of the crow." 24 May 08, 9:39 PM Stoney 10 mths JRCs_petk wrote: May I have mine black with ice please Stoney? Tis a little hot in our part of the world. One iced tea on the table I can see myAngel is going to kept busy at this rate. Peace to All Stoney How do you like your tea? 25 May 08, 12:44 AM bluesky 14 mths little_linnet wrote: What the fuck, people? I am very, very upset. I logged on today to find that this board has lost the majority of its very finest members, those who had real experience with real enslavement or power exchange. Not to slight any of the others, but the loss of Carolyn is especially painful for me. I vividly remember posts Carolyn made on the old Enslavement discussion lists years and years ago and she has been on my radar ever since. The things she had to say and the insights she shared shaped my perception of being owned more than anyone else's. I was excited and yes, a little bit honored, to discuss with her on these boards, to finally have enough experience and wisdom under my belt to be considered one of her peers. Who do we have in her place? I sifted through the boards today and see we have a Second Life "dominant" offering advice. We have the same vocal handful of people in long distance and online relationships, posting as if they have anything useful to contribute to discussions about actual enslavement. We have the same vocal handful of fantasists and people who have had nothing at all but a string of kinky boyfriends and girlfriends but refer to their experiences as "slavery" and "owning slaves". It seems that Tanos' efforts notwithstanding (and I do appreciate Tanos' efforts, make no mistake), the tide of mediocrity is just too massive to stand against, and no matter what steps might be taken to carve out this little space for useful discussions about enslavement, people with a large portion of ignorance and a corresponding sense of entitlement are going to find ways to flood it. I'm fed up. Krista I think that if you want to see what is going wrong with TSR or SD whatever you want to call it now then people like you Krista is a good place to start. Just because people don't live 24/7 doesn't mean they don't have any valid opinions and shouldn't be meant to feel welcome. There are many different discussion boards for all different people now. As much as I don't think people should be put into boxes, it is nice that there are places for everyone to be involved. There are lots of people leaving, but there is nothing to say who is good and who is bad. So if someone who posts every day of the week, even if it is crap, leaves that is a good person leaving but if someone who only posts when they have advice or can be helpful leaves it doesn't matter because they didn't post much anyway??? I deleted my profile and then reinstated it. I am beginning to wonder why. It seems to me that despite all the changes to the site, it still has the same problems because of closed minded people like you. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Tanos works, and I am sure this has taken a great deal of work and effort, he can not get rid of ignorant people like yourself. I am going to continue to watch this thread. If it continues to be a slanging match or a put down thread for all not in 24/7 then I will just delete my profile and never visit again. This shit is enough to make anyone consider going vanilla. We get grief from the vanilla world then come here to be among like minded people and get shot down here too. Myself, I am no longer owned but I was in a 24/7 relationship. Perhaps I am not welcome anymore either.......no owner, no membership? blue sky 25 May 08, 2:01 AM 862-203-011 AU, 23 mths As a rule one does not enter these sorts of debates. It is not that one is not confrontational, quite the opposite in fact however, one (like many here) is simply not allowed to participate in discussions that are contentious, aggressive and set to devolve into flame wars. Some may have noticed that one has not contributed to these boards, except in a general nature, for a while now and this is the reason. Despite this, one is going to add her small voice to this thread because she feels this is important, but to do so one has to get permission from Master as this has become the very type of thread one is barred from participating in and it will be her only post on the subject. Like little linnet one is mourning for the loss of so many people whom she found interesting and thought-provoking. The drain has been going on for some while now, but more often than not the reason they left was because they got fed up with feeling like they were defending their place in the universe. They got tired of having to explain their beliefs over and over again, to people who had no idea about what they were discussing because they did not bother to read the resource material. They got fed up with threads being hijacked by people who imposed their view-points regardless of the topic at hand and of giving advise only to find out that, after giving their valuable time, the person in question did not live under the same system as they did. All public congregations go through periods of change and flux. It is a normal part of evolution and they are often painful. This has been no different, but like many here, one has been left to ponder - where are we going? Are we going to become homogenised to the point that our branch of BDSM has become absorbed by the onslaught? Are we going to be so inclusive that any view regardless of the source, is going to become woven into our life? Are we going to become so aggressive in defending our views that many are not going to be able to take part? Yes we can take the option of not joining in, of not reading and not participating. Many (oneself included) have taken that option, but then you have to ask the question – why bother coming here? If too many people answer that question with “no point at all” then the resource that is SD! will cease to exist. Yes the board will still be here, but the things that set it apart from the other contenders will not. Not only will that be a shame to some existing members, but a great loss for all those who are to come. Master's piece 25 May 08, 3:17 AM 207-063-737 US, 2 yrs Stoney wrote: COMMUNITY Thats why I came to these boards. I came here as a 'fluffy Bunny' (1), never played as a 'WAS' (2), learnt new meanings for 'mental disorders' (3) and read a lot of anger (justified and unjustified) (4). Is it not time tor a cuppa, a smoke (for those that do) a VERY deep breath and get back to being a community, To enjoying the simple (or complex) pleasure of being an owner, owned, underconsideration, or just learning and sharing as a community.? *Waiting for someone to grab a mug of tea and join me* Peace to All Stoney Oohh i love tea can i have some? sweetspot 25 May 08, 4:04 AM MasterJRC HK, 11 mths Y! Sir4Ryco That has to be one of the funniest posts I have had the pleasure of reading in a long time. Well done JC 25 May 08, 4:27 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs Fine. Experience is experience, and all experience is equally valid to draw from in all situations. In that case I'll be informing my dentist I'll perform my next root canal on myself, because after all, I have experience at gardening! Hell I should give the guy a tip or two while I'm at it. I have a perfect standing to give him advice on oral surgery seeing as I've grown nasturtiums for almost 20 years. 20 YEARS PEOPLE! How DARE you imply that my dentistry is "less" than his? I feel PASSIONATE about my nasturtiums! You people whining about how "unwelcome" you are ... just pathetic. Since when does every resource in the world exist to make YOU feel welcome? That's the exact self-centered childish attitude that I'm referring to. Do you walk into country western bars, complain that you don't like the music and switch the radio to Mozart? HOW DARE THEY IMPLY YOUR MOZART IS "LESS" THAN THEIR GEORGE STRAIT! Yeah, you let 'em have it! They should make you feel WELCOME! And the next time you go to MOMA be sure and tell them to take those hideous damn Picassos off the wall and hang up some nice Renoirs. Then you'll feel welcome there too. Of course, you selectively forget that there are people here who aren't in M/s relationships who have been entirely welcome. Yanno what makes them different from you? They're not self-centered, entitled, rude, whiners. They're here to read and post about on-topic stuff, without insisting that the topic of every board should be THEM and THEIR type of relationship. In short, they behave appropriately, and that tends to make people welcome wherever they go. Y'all should try it sometime. Krista No feminist thinks men and women are exactly the same. But what we reject is the notion that the difference between men and women is that men are human and women are objects. Edited 25 May 08, 4:28 AM by little_linnet 25 May 08, 8:25 AM Catfooted US, 2 yrs Y! Just found this thread. Have a few things to say; If all those who do have RT/24/7 experience with Owner/slave relationships leave, there will be no one here to give those perspectives. For this reason I choose to stay. That said, I do agree with those who have stated that, although for those involved in them, online and LDRs may be very real and genuine, they are NOT the same as RT live in M/s. Just as living in France is NOT the same as living in South America. Not better, per se, not 'above' or 'below' one or the other, but NOT THE SAME. If you've only ever lived in France you don't have the perspective to comment on a discussion of the living conditions in Paraguay or Brazil. LISTEN to those who live there. ASK about that place. Be willing to learn about it from it's inhabitants. DON"T claim to have the same value of experience of it that they do! You just don't. I like that Tanos has boards where open topics can be discussed. I like that a variety of folks can share ideas and insights here. But I do not like, have never liked, anyone who comes to a specialized venue and claims to be as knowledgeable as those who have spent years (sometimes lifetimes) in the realities of those areas of knowledge. For those who are here to learn, please stay. Do ask questions. Do ponder, sort and wonder aloud. This how we learn. For those who have the years under their belts, please do continue to share your experiences. Those who hear you are the ones who need to. Those who won't hear you don't matter a whit. Dinna fash yersel' aboot them. You do a service and pass on a legacy with your words. How sad if this should be lost. But for those who are not IN a RT M/s relationship, please just be big enough to say so. There is a VAST difference in stating that one's personal experience is this or that, and perhaps this perspective might be of value, than to say "I know what you're dealing with, I've been there. My experiences are the same" when they just are not! 'Nuf said. Catfooted "And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit". The Tick Edited 25 May 08, 8:29 AM by Catfooted Next page