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	SD! : Web boards : Website help : "What the fuck, people?" 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 What the fuck, people? (73) 25 May 08, 10:17 PM 787-365-757 US(NY), 8 mths 238-864-563 wrote: i've only been a member here for a few months. i generally find the discussions helpful, and those that i don't i ignore. There are some people whose opinions i value more than others. i don't know what category the original poster would put me in, since i am searching for a master and willing to relocate, which means initially i am meeting people on line. That doesn't mean i want to remain that way. It also doesn't mean i haven't been real time and face to face. While i don't think an entirely cyber relationship is M/s if the intent is to stay that way, or to see each other infrequently because of the distance, sometimes there is a period of time before one person can relocate. There is also the general problem of finding a compatible someone, and what i call the "false starts" where you begin and find there is something that prevents going forward. Additionally, there is what i refer to as the "getting your feet wet" approach, by which i mean that someone may begin with a cyber only "relationship" with their dom or slave, because they are only beginning in their development or understanding or acceptance of who they are. Not everyone is able to go from 0 to 100% all at once. For some of us, it has taken time to move to where we are willing and able to commit to what we want and accept no substitutes. Hence, i view some of the people here as in transition. For the most part, i find the people here are generally more serious and knowledgeable than i've found on other websites or email discussion boards, and consequently i have been hopeful a potential master will find me here, or that i will find him. i have noticed, however, some recent flaming of people (the woman who asked a question and made a politically incorrect comment about Latino men being the most recent i recall) where the focus of the discussion becomes something other than what the thread intended because the person doesn't state their question or thought very concisely or at least in a way everyone finds acceptable. That is among the reasons some of us don't post often or at all. i don't post often, but i read daily, at least those topics that are of interest to me. i don't know who Carolyn is or why she left. It sounds like some posters would prefer to limit this site to people who are already in 24/7 real time, real life M/s relationships. Where would that leave those of us who are looking for that type of relationship? And, doesn't this site serve as an educational forum for those who are still learning? It is appropriate, i think, to point out when people join that an entirely cyber relationship doesn't really fit the IE/TPE or M/s theory or practice that the people who join here aspire to or accept. Nor, in the view of most of us here, would a relationship where the parties see each other face to face in person (not on webcam) only infrequently (i recall someone who had been a "slave" and had seen her "master" twice in six years, for example... i felt really sad for her...). Isn't part of why we are all here to teach, guide, advise, assist, and learn as well as to share our own experience with others who are living in an M/s 24/7 real time relationship, or seeking one? 238-864-563 I have NEVER been so happy as I was when I just read your response in regards to the original posting !!! I entered into this lifestyle as a Submissive and was trained and mentored by a WONDERFUL man. My decision to meet at a public club in New York for "MY OWN" concerns about safety seemed to be very logical and responsible on my part. As a single woman entering a lifestyle which I really had no personal hands on experience with, I stand firm in my belief that I made a mature , wise "decision" in allowing myself the opportunity to ultimately seek out what I knew to be a part of me. By some, in the community I was welcomed with open arms and made to feel like a part of an extended family IMMEDIATELY !!! Others didn't waste a second to label me a "Novice" and judged me... (Although not to my face) as a person who should not be taken seriously because I had never had experience outside of the public forum. Had these "experienced" IMBOSILS taken a moment to even have a conversation with me, they would have realized there judgements were unfounded and utterly ridiculous !!! First of all, a person has to begin there journey SOMEWHERE. It amazes me to this day, how for a lifestyle that requires such a deep expansion of peoples minds, the people who ADVERTISE there experience and knowledge can be the most closed minded individuals of all. One very important piece of advise I can offer to those who don't want to deal with NEWBIES, NOVICES, whatever you call the people you choose to judge is that there WAS a time when you were INFACT one in the same . Now imagine for a second, that you had no support as you began your journey into the unknown... Would you have sustained the psychological and emotional recoil with grace, dignity, and perserverance or would it in fact have deterred you from what you believed your needs to be?? I have been a member of this site for over a month now, because I believe we all have something to learn from each other and I will not deny myself the opportunity because some might feel that I have nothing to bring to the table. What I bring to this forum is an OPEN MIND, an eagerness to learn and absorb all I can from individuals who dont just find joy and pleasure by being of service to there Masters/Mistresses. I seek out the precious gems... who offer there guidance and support knowing in the end the truest reward will come from watching "SOMEONE ELSE" blossom into the Slave they were in fact meant to be and feeling like you were a part of that MONUMENTAL moment. There will be those of you who will absolutely hate me, and others who will absolutely love me. I offer EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU , the opportunity too get to know me before you judge me. I am not a 12 year old who walked into the Junior High School lunchroom, questioning whether I fit in with the Jocks, The nerds, The degenerates, etc... I am quite confident and aware of who I am and where I belong, so I am not in need of your approval , I am in need of guidance and support during my journey from Submission to Slavery . PS: I would like to take a moment to address the Potential Masters or Master/Mistress couples who are seeking a Slave. If by some chance the individual/couple that I am meant to be of service to happens to come from this site, Please do not allow my outspoken response to this letter cause you question my worthihness of Ownership. The desire that comes from my soul, knowing the joy that will come from my complete devotion and servitude one day, is an existing necessity for me as is the air I breathe !!! 787-365-757 Edited 25 May 08, 10:57 PM by 787-365-757 26 May 08, 12:06 AM rowenjja UK, 2 yrs This thread and all it has become saddens me. All I can say is I will deeply miss Carolyn's posts, she provided such valuable insights and her spirit and unquenchable thirst for knowledge was inspiring. The loss of her on these forums is great. To have lost Carolyn, Tangie, and Issy, all since the last time I logged in here, is a shock. All three I respected greatly and feel I learned much from. All three will be very missed by me. I wish them well where ever life takes them, and hope we will cross paths again one day. I post only to bid them a fond goodbye, and tell them they will be missed. Regards, His rowenjja 26 May 08, 6:17 AM 619-520-033 US, 12 mths Y! i came across this site originally because of the barcodes, which i had been asked to research by my then Master. when i discovered the discussion boards, i was very excited. As i saw them as an chance to learn and interact. And while it was clear that many of the same people were posting comments or creating threads, i thought nothing of it as seemed to me that no matter how many members any site states it has, there is always a small percentage of "active" members. i read the boards everyday. i hide in the shadows, i posted only a few times because i felt i did have the experience or knowledge to make a comment. but through my reading of others comments i did take away a great deal. Then a few months ago a thread started that was a total bashing of another site that didn't live up to the supreme standards of the memebers here becuase the had a different idea of what Master and slave relationships were. The banting made it clear to me that those actively posting and commenting here held the believe that there way of living in a world of Master and slave was the supreme, and correct way--and any other way, or any person that didn't subcribe to their way of thinking was wrong. It was at that point that i decided never to again to comment on any thread, and my reading of posts became less and less, but still i did come back--hoping to find a community and the excitment i experienced in first finding the posts. This on going thread has the taste of "high school cliques" written all over it. A small select few who want to run things their way and feel offended that anyone should try to join in and invade there world. Outsiders (read new members) be damned--you are not welcome here. As we used to say in grade school, TICK TOCK THE GAME IS LOCKED AND NO ONE ELSE CAN PLAY. Well, for me, its OK, i don't want play with you any more. I have what i came here, my barcode, and that will never change for me. But i will seek my community and hope of gaining knowledge elsewhere. may you all enjoy life in your secret garden. but, maybe you should lock the doors before any other below par, undesirable new comers get in. Edited 26 May 08, 6:20 AM by 619-520-033 26 May 08, 6:25 PM 842-117-802 CA, 9 mths I think perhaps some of the RT 24/7 people are misunderstanding what some of us, particularly myself, mean by validity and perhaps are not aware of how they are coming across. It's possible that this whole RT 24/7 vs. LDR/OL debate is a misunderstanding. I'm willing to examine this possibility and try and clear it up, because quite frankly, this whole argument annoys the ever-loving fuck out of me and detracts from the community. The way that it often comes across, from certain RT people is that they think that persons who are LDR/OL are playing a game as opposed to submitting. Perhaps this is incorrect and a skewed perception on the part of those of us who are, for whatever reason we are such, LDR/OL, but this is how you come across. It is hurtful and that is where we are coming from when we say we are just as valid and real as you and our submission is the same. Perhaps the mechanism is different, which does lend to certain differences, but many of the feelings are similar or the same and we do get the same chemicals when scening. This is what I mean when I say it's the same. Many of you are being sarcastic asses and saying "well I can touch my slave/Master." This is a difference, yes, but for some people, that's less of a difference than you might think. Perhaps I should have used the word "similar" rather than "same" in my thread in the LDR section, but I chose same to try and drive a point home, a point that you instead chose to act like butthurt little infants about, as though someone was trying to take away your toys. I am in an LDR relationship. My last relationship, with my last Owner, was LDR as well--but had many, many prolonged periods of 24/7, as we were not all that far apart. My perspective may not be that of a long-term RT person, but I do have a certain number of insights based on my experience there. I also lurk and read a LOT and often formulate answers for people based on what I have read. Sometimes, a person needs a quick answer. And sometimes, the perspective of a person who has not experienced to the level of another, but has extensively studied can be valuable due to distance from the actual situation. Distance from actuality can, in many cases, particularly in debate, be an asset that brings about other levels of discussion in the other members of the debate/discussion and brings up things that might otherwise go ignored. Even if the "outsider" is wholly wrong, their perspective might be valuable in bringing into the discussion a perspective that, on some level, a newer person who is *not* an outsider may have due to miscommunication or other. Instead of treating these as learning opportunities or teaching opportunities, you're choosing to leave/tell us we're morons without any valid opinions (which comes across as telling us we're totally invalid, btw)/rant about it in this thread. All of these things detract from the site just as much as you feel we do. I would have responded in reference to my LDR/OL thread earlier, but I was away at a convention where I was a guest speaker on multiple panels, so I've been a bit busy. Why don't you, rather than bitching about how this board has gone downhill, fix it? You don't need moderators to do that. You can do it for yourselves. Correct people. Explain the differences *politely* and help people learn. Perhaps, instead of a strict community of likeminded people where everyone has the same experience and the same background, this place has changed--into an opportunity for the likeminded people from the same experiences and backgrounds to educate on their perspective and clear up misconceptions. You treat all change as if it is bad, and that makes it bad. If you treat it as nothing more than change, and change with it? Change can be a positive thing. Property and pet of Master_Latrans 26 May 08, 6:44 PM Stoney 10 mths 207-063-737 wrote: Stoney wrote: COMMUNITY Thats why I came to these boards. I came here as a 'fluffy Bunny' (1), never played as a 'WAS' (2), learnt new meanings for 'mental disorders' (3) and read a lot of anger (justified and unjustified) (4). Is it not time tor a cuppa, a smoke (for those that do) a VERY deep breath and get back to being a community, To enjoying the simple (or complex) pleasure of being an owner, owned, underconsideration, or just learning and sharing as a community.? *Waiting for someone to grab a mug of tea and join me* Peace to All Stoney Oohh i love tea can i have some? Certainly, as there's plenty of tea, just not many tea drinkers. Did I mention coffee and cookies are available? Peace to All Stoney How do you like your tea? 27 May 08, 10:25 PM Andrews_cumbucket US(ND), 13 mths Y! 842-117-802 wrote: I think perhaps some of the RT 24/7 people are misunderstanding what some of us, particularly myself, mean by validity and perhaps are not aware of how they are coming across. It's possible that this whole RT 24/7 vs. LDR/OL debate is a misunderstanding. I'm willing to examine this possibility and try and clear it up, because quite frankly, this whole argument annoys the ever-loving fuck out of me and detracts from the community. Change can be a positive thing. very well put thank you http://kittypetskyler.wordpress.com/ http://bdsmhaven.proboards80.com/index.cgi ~~~~ Master allows me my posting privileges. He will deny and/or completely remove them as He sees fit. ~~~~ 28 May 08, 12:12 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs 842-117-802 wrote: ..because quite frankly, this whole argument annoys the ever-loving fuck out of me and detracts from the community. Change can be a positive thing. There can't be any denying those points. If we had more tea and cookies, maybe we'd be able to get back to the focus of the board - who knows.. Intolerance sure as hell ain't gonna cut the mustard, is it really? I think we could also use..more nasturtiums...they're cool! Master's l'il oneŽ(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 28 May 08, 3:24 PM His_mAlice US(TX), 9 mths My thoughts on this are of course going to come from the Way of the Samauri, I promise after this I will stop with the damned quoting. But this tugged on my heart to post, and so I will. "To give a person one's opinion and correct his faults is an important thing. It is compassionate and comes first in matters of service. But the way of doing this is extremely difficult. To discover the good and bad points of a person is an easy thing, and to give an opinion concerning them is easy, too. For the most part, people think that they are being kind by saying the things that others find distasteful or difficult to say. But if it is not received well, they think that there is nothing more to be done. This is completely worthless. It is the same as brining shame to a person by slandering him. It is nothing more than getting it off one's chest. To give a person an opinion one must first judge well whether that person is of the disposition to receive it or not. One must become close with him and make sure that he continually trusts one's word. Approaching subjects that are dear to him, seek the best way to speak and to be well understood. Judge the occasion, and determine whether it is better by letter or at the time of leave-taking. Praise his good points and use every device to encourage him, perhaps by talking about one's own faults without touching on his, but so that they will occur to him. Have him receive this in the way that a man would drink water when his throat is dry, and it will be an opinion that will correct faults. This is extremely difficult. If a person's fault is a habit of some years prior, by and large it won't be remedied. I have had this experience myself. To be intimate with all one's comrades, correcting each other's faults, and being of one mind to be of use to the master is the great compassion of a retainer. By bringing shame to a person, how could one expect to make him a better man? " Take this however your heart interprets it. edit: grammar nazi "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage" Edited 28 May 08, 3:28 PM by His_mAlice 29 May 08, 1:21 AM 842-117-802 CA, 9 mths MasterS70 wrote: 842-117-802 wrote: ..because quite frankly, this whole argument annoys the ever-loving fuck out of me and detracts from the community. Change can be a positive thing. There can't be any denying those points. If we had more tea and cookies, maybe we'd be able to get back to the focus of the board - who knows.. Intolerance sure as hell ain't gonna cut the mustard, is it really? I think we could also use..more nasturtiums...they're cool! I do love nasturtiums. They're very tasty in salad. My grandmother grew them for years--until I realised they could be eaten directly from the flower box and ate all of her nasturtiums in one sitting! They're pretty, too. I wonder if they grow in Oklahoma. I'll have to look up the zones for nasturtiums. As for tea and cookies? I once got depressed and lived off of that food combo for an entire summer. lol I DO love those rectangular vanilla wafers dipped in a nice strong black tea. Property and pet of Master_Latrans Next page