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	SD! : Web boards : Discipline : "Purpose" 1 2 Purpose (10) Fri 23 May 08, 4:51 PM Tanos UK, 11 yrs Y! One of the words I almost used in the "24/7 D/s, M/s, discipline, hierarchy" phrases on the new SD! site is purpose. Earlier this year I realised that the desire for purpose is another way of understanding D/s and hierarchical relationships in general: leaders are people who want to choose their own worthwhile purpose; followers are people who want to choose a leader who will provide them with a worthwhile purpose. I know some M/s and D/s households go as far as putting their purpose down in writing, with some kind of mission or vision statement. For example, it's part of the template for inclusion in the M/s Household Registry. But even if you don't go that far, how do you see purpose as part of your D/s? Regards, Tanos www.tanos.org.uk 23 May 08, 8:40 PM Domme_deluxe UK, 8 mths You must be a mind reader. I've been thinking about D/s motivations recently. There are a number of motivations I think one of these being to move forwards towards a goal and it is a strong urge I believe. Life without purpose is akin to being a passenger in a boat being swept this way and that. Possibly it suits some people since they are open to the current taking them where they may be surprised and would not have landed otherwise. I don't think it particularly suits Dominants though who prefer to be steering the relationship boat. There is a place for it though within the general vision and aim. My purpose or goal is to be contented and to provide the same for my 'household' a simple aim but complex because it is so multi-faceted. To maintain a solid foundation for the conditions for self-discovery, growth and fulfillment. I aim for my relationship to work in the real world. That is the general and simplified version anyway. 24 May 08, 2:42 AM masterfiremaam US(AZ), 2 yrs It's pretty hard to lead when you haven't a clue where you're going or at least want to go. The differences come about in HOW to get there. Master Fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Hai! Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 24 May 08, 2:41 PM charlie UK, 10 mths I have a strong pull toward machinery, synchronisation, robotics, and anything that is engineered for precision and efficiency. I do value certain emotions and instincts I have, but I tend to favour logic and reason. In the service I give, I strive to be as efficient as possible. I do very well with set tasks that require no emotional input, with choices and challenges that only need logic (or physical force) applied. In a way, turning off the emotional side of me takes away my human side, and I become a machine to be programmed and set to work by a dominant/dominants. It's a bit of a paradox, because in removing my desire to have a *human* purpose (and the existential crisis that accompanies this), I feel very complete and purposeful. Charlie. ...under Lili. 18 Jun 08, 3:06 AM shedragon US(VA), 15 mths Y! I'll never forget the night my Owner first said to me, "This is what you were born for, to serve Me and please Me." He was right, and it gave me a purpose in life I had never had before. Prior to becoming His I had little ambition, and just did what I needed to do to survive and support myself and my two children. When D told me that was my purpose for existence, everyday tasks took on new meaning as I now did them for Him. Chores I used to hate were not so bad any more because it pleased Him that I did them. Hearing D say, "I am pleased with you," is the only success I care about. Knowing one's purpose is a very powerful motivator, and I am glad that D and I have complementary needs in this area. He knows His purpose in life, and He has given me mine. It is better to remain uncollared than to be led by the wrong leash. 18 Jun 08, 3:08 PM Eclectic1 US(ID), 13 mths I think purpose is a short way of a person saying that they have found what in life pleases and fulfills them. Once found hopefully they then find someone who will be suited to share this with. 18 Jun 08, 3:28 PM AnathemaMaster US(IL), 8 mths Y! Tanos wrote: Purpose One of the words I almost used in the "24/7 D/s, M/s, discipline, hierarchy" phrases on the new SD! site is purpose. ... how do you see purpose as part of your D/s? Regards, Tanos In a word, central. The dictionary defines purpose as "something one intends or plans." Tennyson characterized it, at least for us Old Farts, "to strive, to seek, to find and not to yield." The Eighth Law (of 10) for my slave states: I will care for all the other assets of my Master as I care for His pleasures and his needs. This is my duty and my purpose, my dharma. Absent purpose, dominance is a quirk and submission an aberration. Solitudinem faciunt pacem appellant. Tacitus 25 Jun 08, 6:43 PM AnathemaMaster US(IL), 8 mths Y! I'm bumping this into current status because the topic is important. Many current threads attempt to resolve problems inside d/s or M/s relationships, often without clearly defining the problem. The depth of angst displayed in some posts suggests that people are struggling without considering the purpose(s) that shape those relationships. Many of the responses ask for clarification. And much of the sage advice is couched in terms of purposeful action. Yet. All too often the OP and the subsequent posts are parallel or tangential, not intersecting. (I wonder how many posts are made by folks who do not think through the logic of their intentions, much less the basis of their intentions.) Put simply: every course of action presupposes at least one purpose; every relationship seeks at least one goal or ambition. As a dominant, what do you intend? As a submissive, what do you plan? As a pair (or more), what do you seek to gain? And do you take actions to achieve those intentions? Are those actions understood by both/all inside the relationship? Does it matter if those ends or intentions are jointly understood? Solitudinem faciunt pacem appellant. Tacitus 26 Jun 08, 3:05 AM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 3 yrs Y! I can not agree with the simple "statement of purpose" concept and for one simple reason. I am not a monostable being (such as a corporation) and therefore have many plans and purposes. Some purposes are immediate, some are longer term. Some come up on the HUD at various times in my life and become important, other's fall from site (either no longer important or perhaps fulfilled). I could say I have a general lifetime purpose. I could probably state it susinctly as "To achieve and maintain for me and mine the highest state of life force and well-being while achieving growth and development and minimizing chaos and destructive influences in our lives." But that would only be the least of my specific purposes in my lifetime endeavours. So, I guess it would be hard to really contribute much to this thread on those grounds. But I can fully understand that one should keep one's purposes in mind in order to reach their lofty heights and have any inkling it was where they were going when they set out. I would have to say, if by way of agreement, that a Master should be purposeful in his life. I just can't say it's all that easy to quantify in such a simple statement. Lord Laray proud owner of his treasured slaves Next page