| Hi dorothy
I'm sorry no-one's seen or answered you yet... you might want to think about tweaking the header if you can? I almost didn't look because I thought I couldn't be all that much help with poly questions but as it seems to be not really a poly issue, lemme have a go and bump it back up so others might see it too.
If I get that upset, I have to say that my response now is to seek Master out (and I think that would apply to both or either of your Ms). I tell him what's happening (I'm angry and upset, unable to calm my myself) and he helps. He's not angry with me or upset that I am upset - he's pleased that I came to him and actually loves the proof that I care and feel so strongly... or he laughs gently at me for being a daftie but I'm not sure that applies here! 
Now as to not being able to clean and look after your M. I know she doesn't live with you right now but are there not things you could do for her anyway? Even if, because of others living in her house, you can't go and clean (even in disguise as a helpful friend if you're not out to them) once a week, how about thinking of other things you can do?
How about cooking something which you can deliver, she can take home with her? Make extra at home and freeze it for her so she has meals ready when she comes home? How about doing her shopping for her and she can collect it from you, in the store bags just as if se'd done it herself - but you've done the hard bit? How about getting her to bring ironing and such like? (She can always say she's paying someone if there's some concern about people knowing that I'm unaware of.)
The other thing that I think would ease my feelings in such a situation, is to prepare for when she can join you. (You don't say how long that will be.) But how about decorating / painting the room/s that will be hers - either to her spec or as a surprise? Buying or making nice little touches like cushions to match curtains, find a nice old chair, reading table or bedside cabinet and rub it down and refurb it to make the wood look wonderful. Find some little pictures you know she will like (or a nice fabric wall hanging which can be a wonderfully thrifty addition to the mood of a room) ... all that sort of thing?
Imagine the fun you can have just before she arrives putting flowers and scented oil in the room so that it's a beautiful space for her and she knows she's now going to be looked after!
And it works either way - you can ask her what she wants and share the whole thing with her or ask your M to help you plan a surprise.
Either way, share your feelings and some practical suggestions to calm you and make you feel as though you are doing something to help... I'm sure both M's will be only too happy to hear how anxious you are to care for their wellbeing.
anjuli
Edited to add: Congrats and good luck with your new M and the growth of your house/family by the way.  ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~
Edited 1 Jun 08, 7:03 AM by anjuli
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