This page sponsored by JT's Stockroom    [other banners]

	SD! : Web boards : Discipline : "Reversing Prior Training" 1 2 Reversing Prior Training (11) Wed 11 Jun 08, 9:17 PM Master_Latrans US(OK), 8 mths Y! I have recently acquired a well-behaved pet/slave (I've yet to decide their final position) who has come to me pre-trained by their former Dominants. Some of these behaviors are not desirable to me and I find that altering pre-trained behaviors is more difficult than training from scratch. I am fairly new to being a Dom and as such I would like to turn a question to the more experienced community. How would I go about "untraining" or reversing habits that have been instilled by my pet's former dominants? My main issue at this time is that the pet in question is virtually silent in the bedroom and while normally I wouldn't fight on this issue too much, my pet has informed me that this was an enforced behaviors from the very beginning of their sex life. I thank you in advance, Master Latrans 12 Jun 08, 4:43 AM Master_Howard US(OK), 2 yrs Y! Latrans, I wish you well in your endeavor. I acquired my girl (slave_emma) almost five years ago. her retraining continues, even to this day. Because she is precious to me, I have employed a lot of patience and perseverance to move forward. emma has appreciated my method. For example, she was used to averting her eyes in the presence of her previous Owner. I find her eyes to be delightful, so I wanted to see them. The first few times I stood a foot from her and held her chin up to look at me, she flinched, waiting for punishment that would come, fearful she was being set up. Over a period of weeks, as the punishment did not come with this occasional exercise, she realized she could trust me. Also, she delighted in the knowledge that she was pretty to me. In other activities, where her previous Owner had abused her, well beyond her limits, I allowed limits that were sensitive to her experiences. Again, it took time but she built trust to the point where we could discuss her fears and bring her to a point where she was willing to venture beyond those limits. Throughout and to this day, she has a safe word that she has used effectively. In five years, emma has become extremely devoted and seeks out ways to surprise me with special meals and other treats. she has learned my likes and dislikes, and she uses that knowledge to please me and exceed all my expectations. By the way, we've been married for about three-and-a-half years and at the end of this month, we're renewing our vows (in a vanilla ceremony) with friends and family from across the country. Peace and blessings to you and your household. Master Howard 12 Jun 08, 5:17 AM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs Master did not have to retrain me from a prior M/s relationship but from 3 abusive vanilla relationships and from habits of O/our prior vanilla marriage of 10 years - may He rest in Peacee. He, like Master Howard, had extraordinary patience this one who sees herself as damaged goods both psychologically and physically - due to disabilities (2 major physical ones) and being, as He insisted on retraining me to say " a very B I G, Beautiful, Woman" (i used to say i was "fat and ugly" - but He explained that this indirectly said He had bad taste in females) He had some training in using Hypnotism in counseling settings as part of His Ph.D in religion and one in Metaphysics which was mostly psychology. He found a book about how to use Hypnosis to enhance your sex life, for vanillas but on a lifestyle web-site - and used Hypnosis, which is quite easy to learn. but it must be very carefully phrased or it can do major damage to a person who has any emotion or thought disorders, esp. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which this one has. It was a very useful tool for U/us in many ways - although everyone has some barriers in their psyche and these should never be pushed or you can fracture a vulnerable soul and cause it to lose it's spirit and be useless. And i DO mean fracture - even causing multiple personality disorder or whatever the new term for that is. Just a thought you may find helpful - take what you like and this one humbly begs you to delete the heck out of the rest. j/L Papa's owned always - r.i.p. Master, Beloved - still Proud to wear HIS collar. P.S. went to hospital 2 nights in a row to the ER as the result of not dealing well with our New England USA heat-wave. i had to have a painful and disgusting "procedure" done. Now i'm not a masochist, which was good because Master was a Dom but only slightly and seldom sadistic at all to me. But i discovered during our time together i only can "enjoy" even mild pain if He is with me and i can look in His eyes or if He is giving it. (may be part of Hypnosis training, who knows?) And i did not - definitely not - enjoy it. but they gave this one strong meds. So please be patient with what i write today, more than usual, my F/friends as i'm not quite myself at all today But after had an eerie "coincidence" that made this one believe He was there and watching over me. j/L 12 Jun 08, 12:13 PM Blush4Him US, 8 mths Master_Howard wrote: Latrans, I wish you well in your endeavor. I acquired my girl (slave_emma) almost five years ago. her retraining continues, even to this day. Because she is precious to me, I have employed a lot of patience and perseverance to move forward. emma has appreciated my method. For example, she was used to averting her eyes in the presence of her previous Owner. I find her eyes to be delightful, so I wanted to see them. The first few times I stood a foot from her and held her chin up to look at me, she flinched, waiting for punishment that would come, fearful she was being set up. Over a period of weeks, as the punishment did not come with this occasional exercise, she realized she could trust me. Also, she delighted in the knowledge that she was pretty to me. In other activities, where her previous Owner had abused her, well beyond her limits, I allowed limits that were sensitive to her experiences. Again, it took time but she built trust to the point where we could discuss her fears and bring her to a point where she was willing to venture beyond those limits. Throughout and to this day, she has a safe word that she has used effectively. In five years, emma has become extremely devoted and seeks out ways to surprise me with special meals and other treats. she has learned my likes and dislikes, and she uses that knowledge to please me and exceed all my expectations. By the way, we've been married for about three-and-a-half years and at the end of this month, we're renewing our vows (in a vanilla ceremony) with friends and family from across the country. Peace and blessings to you and your household. Master Howard What a beautiful response! Best wishes for your vow renewal and lifetime together. 13 Jun 08, 7:01 AM masterfiremaam US(AZ), 2 yrs Retraining doesn't just lay on your shoulders. It takes effort from her, too. The best way to do it is to catch the undesired behavior right away and immediately do the desired behavior. This strengthens the new neural pathways being set up by the learning in her brain, literally. As she uses them more and more, the will slowly overcome the old ones. Be patient. It can take years to untrain some behaviors. Master Fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Hai! Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13 Jun 08, 6:09 PM MA_Kitten US, 7 mths i may be simply repeating previous posts, but when i came to be with my Master, while not being previously owned, i had come from a very abusive, very controlling relationship. i had many small habits (such as flipping my hair up when i sleep at night)that i had learned not to do over time, as it had always upset my former husband, and would lead to a fight. my Master knew of this, and to this day he still works with me to overcome certain fears that were instilled in me during my time with my ex. It takes patience.. a lot of patience, and communication from both parties. Talk to her, and all will be well. 14 Jun 08, 1:28 AM Master_Latrans US(OK), 8 mths Y! So as a general consensus, it's something to be worked on over time and dealt with gently. If anyone has anything else to add, maybe little tips that help, stories about how they've dealt with the issues, I'd appreciate that much. (also I wish to point out, my pet is female bodied, but neutral gendered, so if y'all would be so kind to refer to my pet as a pet or 802 and not "her" i'd much appreciate that as well) 14 Jun 08, 7:11 AM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs Master_Latrans wrote: So as a general consensus, it's something to be worked on over time and dealt with gently. If anyone has anything else to add, maybe little tips that help, stories about how they've dealt with the issues, I'd appreciate that much. (also I wish to point out, my pet is female bodied, but neutral gendered, so if y'all would be so kind to refer to my pet as a pet or 802 and not "her" i'd much appreciate that as well) i know i offended in that way and sincerely apologize. But i am not sure what you mean by female-bodied but neutral gendered and would like to better understand so i do not offend your pet or You again, if you would please explain Sir? j/L Papa's owned ALWAYS - proud to still wear His collar, rest in peace, beloved Master! 14 Jun 08, 10:22 AM Master_Latrans US(OK), 8 mths Y! Female bodied = Has female genitalia, but mentally 802 (my pet) does not identify as male or female. Its a form of transgender. It does pose certain problems as far as pronouns and such go, and 802 has some issues with not liking having female parts, but thats indicative of any transgender. (as a side note I'm not terribly offended, its an honest and common mistake. I also don't think 802 will be to offended at such a common assumption.) 15 Jun 08, 5:44 AM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs i know much of what i've said below would seem to be way off topic - but i see it as trying to train myself as trying to retrain myself to a more tolerant expression of my feelings in a way that is not hurtful to anyone else in ours or related communities that i might interact with. i know Master wanted me to come out of my over-sheltered upbringing in regards to my sexuality and even calling myself bad because of it at times. this was one thing that really bugged him was my naivete in some things. only i can continue retraining me now and hope that wherever He is He can find pleasure in that i still wish to please Him by so learning. Feel free to scroll down in this or any post where i ramble As always, take what Y/you like and shelve the rest. Thank you for the explanation - i know about mixing up pronouns. i had the honor of knowing a transgendered (now) person during the phase were "he" had started dressing as "she" - and tried to avoid going out anywhere with this old friend as i kept accidentally outing her as i knew her longer as he - does that make any sense? Also i was trying to sober up so this was like 21 years ago and was quite nutso over it s most newly sober folks are. Master was fascinated by what transgendered F/folk go through as due to His heart problem He was given a drug that forced Him to also um enlarge His pec. muscles - i.e. He grew breasts - and went through some of the scorn these P/people sometimes experience according to what W/we've heard And He read a LOT of online stories and looked at a lot of web-sites on this, which brought Him great peace That's all the experience i've had around this area, but would like to learn more. As a retired counselor - which means i often do the same work, but it's for free or so it seems (grin) - i want to have more empathy should i ever encounter the situation again and not make such hurtful kinds of mistakes as i did perhaps mildly earlier - and when i would accidently out my friend, well, that was huge. So that was why i avoided the issue. You know i am pretty sure that it must take tremendous courage to go through this process, it really must. i stand awed by such for me just admitting i was a submissive and had always had that type of fantasy secretly was so huge - and in a hetero-monogamous marriage with D/s only in the M/s 24/7 real-time sitution, by which i mean little bondage or S/m. In other words, something not all that frowned on by socieety, just grins behind covering hands when i showed up at the Church Master was one of the many Priests/Elders in with a dog collar on. i totally admire the courage of anyone who is a unique and free S/spirit in a way that permanently harms none - i love to learn from them. And i want to publically say how proud i am of the Man i voted for for governor of this state. A year ago today He used His influence to stop a bill that would have stopped the Gay Marriages which had been legal in our state - first one in the USA, now there are two - to see Him support His daughter who came out to Him after that and He and His daughter walking in our Gay Pride Parade today. No matter what else He does or doesn't do, that really touched my heart as brave - esp. considering our political climate right now, presidential election year and all. And i know there are important figures in both parties who have had their girls/women come out. For me the urge to understand startedw when my first ex blinded me in a building of 8 apartment units and only the gay couple came to help, after that i've sponsored gay or lesbian women in AA, worked in a place with HIV/AIDS clients as a volunteer, met the transgender friend and gone through the episode with Master. It's not far enough but it's a far cry from what i was once taught which was homophobic and trans-a-phobic to the max. it's caused this old lady to question a lot of what she was taught in the old days - and i call myself old not due to chronological age, but the state of my physical health. that is why i asked the question - and thank you for your answer, but if you could clarify it, Sir, i'd appreciate it. You have told me what offends and what i shouldn't say. Please, if you will, teach this one what she should say so i don't offend anyone perhaps more sensitive? thank you for considering this. j/L Papa's owned always - still proud to wear His collar, rest in peace beloved Master ----- and still pretty naive about this lifestyle and alternate lifestyles beyond theory. Edited 15 Jun 08, 5:52 AM by 662-935-655 15 Jun 08, 8:32 AM 842-117-802 CA, 9 mths I am Master Latrans' pet. Papa Lou's Owned, I require no special treatment. I do not use pronouns as they make me uncomfortable. I use my name in place of pronouns. In this place, I use 802 instead of a pronoun. For example "802 went for a walk with 802's cat." I do not get upset if mistakes are made. Mentally, I just cannot make sense of the fact that I am female and I have no desire to be male, either. This is what is meant by gender neutral. Feel free to send me a memo if you have further questions. Master tries very hard, but he admits that I am better at articulating my gender status than he is, so I'm quite sure he won't mind. Property and pet of Master_Latrans Next page