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	SD! : Web boards : Sex & Fetishes : "Open or close the door?" 1 2 3 4 Open or close the door? (36) Mon 21 Jul 08, 3:32 AM Remoses US(PA), 3 yrs  It is My understanding that many Masters and Owners require their slaves to use the toilet with the door open. I believe it is to enforce a sense of…what? I really do not know the answer to this. Personally, I find the acts one normally performs in the toilet to be things of which I wish to have no knowledge. I do not even want to see someone brush their teeth. I find the whole affair quite revolting! While it is true that bodily functions are quite natural, I do know that I have an equally strong aversion to watching or hearing these same functions. Make no mistakes; I think that farts can be particularly funny! But I do not desire to watch anyone shit or piss or even, as I mentioned, brush their teeth. I do not care to bathe with a partner. I prefer to bathe alone and so too, do I require My privacy when I am “indisposed” in the bathroom. I make a distinction with the discipline that a slave may require such that a golden shower may be necessary. But I do not think of that in the same context as the aforementioned activities. As far as routine grooming and toilet activities are concerned, I would just as soon keep them private. What think you, oh assembled masses? I am Remoses. Just because it's inconvenient, doesn't mean it's not required. Quod principi placet legis habet vigorem (The pleasure of the prince has the force of law.) **Pronounce it: Ray-mosay.** 21 Jul 08, 9:23 AM Mistress_Tiara UK, 23 mths  Hi Remoses, This isn't My thing either, but the general idea is to reove any sense of boundary or normal private dignity from the slave. It says something along the lines of 'you are not allowed even the most simple human dignities or privacies, you are more like an animal' I have made My boy pee in a bucket while caged before, and the effect on him was surprisingly strong (he was very resistant and it was one of the only times Ive heard him plead - I wouldnt let him out until he complied though so he had to), so I get the general idea. And of course a lot of people get off on matters lavatorial generally. Maybe that's a start? *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 21 Jul 08, 10:13 AM anjuli UK, 16 mths  That's interesting. Both of you see it as degrading at least in some degree. And once, I would have done too, (it was hard for me at the outset as I was a very 'private' person) but no longer. The denial of any closed or locked door, of any privacy, is for J and I an act of sharing and openness. I don't have any privacy because I don't need any. There is nothing that I need to hide from J because he claims all of me. It reminds me of the level of intimacy that we have rather than being somehow degrading. And J would tell you that it's particularly important with female slaves and subs as they are used to having 'secrets' and 'hidden' acts. And he's right. There are parts of our lives and our bodies that we are taught to conceal from men particularly and never to reveal. (Lots of interesting cultural and historical citings can be provided but might prove boring to the audience in the main) And honestly? That was J's first target. 'NO more secrets, nothing and nowhere to hide - I will have all of you!' Think I may have absorbed this lesson. <grins> I actually love to bathe or shower together and like that we share the bathroom now. It's intimate and keeps me close to him. It feels odd when we're away and I have to go and shower alone now. <laughs> Remoses? Are there things you're missing here? And are you, yourself, responding to learned and cultural biases that deem certain 'private' acts and times as 'forbidden' to others and to men in particular. If you're happy with your sub/slave being able to do that then fine but I know my master would not accept it in any sense. Caveat - if you are 'revolted' by someone peeing or cleaning their teeth it will not help to break down the barriers but only bolster them or make her feel bad and judged so fix yourself first if you do want to go here. anjuli ps. Not sure this isn't more a theory discussion than fetish board material. ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ Edited 21 Jul 08, 11:38 AM by anjuli 21 Jul 08, 2:49 PM Remoses US(PA), 3 yrs  My feelings of revulsion are (I believe) a purely personal preference. I do not wish to make any more of the psychology of it. I just find it aesthetically unappealing. I think many of us have a hard-wired reticence toward excrement. I just find the personal acts of grooming to be a more private thing and not the sort of thing that I wish to share. Keeping the door closed is just one way in which I can remain blissfully ignorant of the acts performend in the bathroom...including brushing one's teeth! So take it for what it's worth, I suppose. I am Remoses. Just because it's inconvenient, doesn't mean it's not required. Quod principi placet legis habet vigorem (The pleasure of the prince has the force of law.) **Pronounce it: Ray-mosay.** 21 Jul 08, 3:01 PM anjuli UK, 16 mths  <laughs> Well they say a Master is allowed to define the limits of his sub or slave. There you have one perfect example. I am much amused at your squeamishness, R, which if you'd known me before J got his hands on me, would have you rolling in the aisles too. I can still get moments of reticence and 'oh please go away / don't come in / look at me right now' kind of thing... but unlike you, I'm not allowed them, and have largely learned to value other parts of the experience instead. anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 21 Jul 08, 5:19 PM Property US, 8 mths  Property and Master have had this discussion, and he has asked what my preference is... I prefer privacy, but it ultimately is up to him. If he wants to come in, what choice does property have? If you have driven the lines in the sand, and it works for you and your partners, that is great ~property www.ownedbymyhusband.blogspot.com 21 Jul 08, 8:18 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 23 mths  I see bathing etc as different to defecating. I dont want to be there when anyone's crapping if I can help it. I dont find things like that repugnant - Im quite 'earthy' and practical and if someone is ill etc I wont freak out about bodily functions - but its not something I like to be around given the option. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 21 Jul 08, 11:25 PM Blush4Him US, 7 mths  Remoses wrote: My feelings of revulsion are (I believe) a purely personal preference. I do not wish to make any more of the psychology of it. I just find it aesthetically unappealing. I think many of us have a hard-wired reticence toward excrement. I just find the personal acts of grooming to be a more private thing and not the sort of thing that I wish to share. Keeping the door closed is just one way in which I can remain blissfully ignorant of the acts performend in the bathroom...including brushing one's teeth! So take it for what it's worth, I suppose. I am Remoses. I'm kind of guessing that changing her tampon in front of you is out? Ok I'm sorry. That wasn't nice to ask. Seriously, I feel much the way you do. I have a shy bladder and it's awful when he makes me urinate in front of him. The other? Well - I can't go anywhere but in my own bathroom without a great degree of difficulty. And being in there with him? Ummm...I vote for blissfully ignorant too! 22 Jul 08, 12:41 PM anjuli UK, 16 mths  Blush4Him wrote: I'm kind of guessing that changing her tampon in front of you is out? Ok I'm sorry. That wasn't nice to ask. Seriously, I feel much the way you do. I have a shy bladder and it's awful when he makes me urinate in front of him. The other? Well - I can't go anywhere but in my own bathroom without a great degree of difficulty. And being in there with him? Ummm...I vote for blissfully ignorant too! <giggles> Well now you see it's precisely that sort of thing that would have my Master determined to break it down. Each to their own and actually I can't believe the side of the discussion I find myself here <blinks> I really was not in the least 'earthy' as MT so nicely puts it and in fact, I might well have written your post myself even a year ago, Blush, but it's just part of life now. I can see now that being pretty ill last year also helped move things along. Post my first operation I was terribly anxious about all this stuff and letting him take care of me and consequently I was a pain in the arse to look after. THAT all changed after discussions (for which read a serious talking to) and my second and major operation convalescence was a totally different experience despite being much harder in a way. Amazing but something good came out of that! Let me make it clear tho that he's not interested in watching per se, just in depriving me of barriers and secrets. He CAN walk in any time and does... and we will certainly shower and bathe and brush teeth together and I don't think twice before peeing in front of him any more. I can still get a little shy now and then but he'll push thro that if he spots even a hint of it. What it really boils down to is that even when I would prefer privacy I don't hide anything from him any longer because there's no need to. He owns me, all of me, and I have no right to, or need for, closed doors or hiding. anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 22 Jul 08, 1:22 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 23 mths  Blush4Him wrote: I'm kind of guessing that changing her tampon in front of you is out? Ok I'm sorry. That wasn't nice to ask. Tampons etc don't bother Me in the slightest, because there is no unpleasant smell attached. I realise some men may feel differently. Ive realised that My earlier post re bathroom use was possibly misleading. In the name of experimentation I decided last week to try watersports for the first time. However, this involved Me putting My boy in the bath blindfolded, Me peeing in a jug, removing his blindfold, and *then* tipping it over him. I have no desire to be clambering about on top of someone peeing, its not very glamorous after all. Though even I'm giggling about how utterly girly this is as an approach to watersports - I have most definately marked the jug as My jug now though *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 22 Jul 08, 2:46 PM Remoses US(PA), 3 yrs  I think it quite amusing to think that some Owners prefer to deny privacy as an exercise in making a slave more “slavey”. I don't necessarily disagree that that's a good thing, but for Me there are other things that are far better pointers to submission and surrender. As for Me being squeamish (as opposed to 'earthy”!) I suppose that there is an element of that. I find the whole prospect of viewing all that bodily function stuff as really rather vile. But that is clearly just My sensibilities manifesting themselves. I do not suppose that everyone else shares My rather fussy views on this matter. I really rather imagine it's quite the opposite. (Though I confess, I really cannot imagine this! Ick!) As a separate issue, the notion of a right to privacy is one thing that I don't recall seeing discussed much here. Though I know the more astute of you will point us all to the thread where that topic was discussed ad nauseum! While I prefer to have a completely open and honest relationship with those close to Me, I do wish to retain a little illusion that all the rather icky bits do not really exist! I could discuss things like the method we use for wiping our asses after…well, you know….or whether one should examine one's snot after blowing one's nose. You can well imagine My feelings on the matter! I want to see none of that! But there are many who feel that examination of each of these wads of tissues is important to ensure good health. Nonsense, I say! But again, that is just Me. As for keeping the bathroom door closed, I must insist that which is done in that room, remain unknown to Me! I would prefer to behold a whole and perfected person (with all one's flaws, of course!) and remain blissfully ignorant of the processes required to achieve the perfection with which I am to be presented. Funny, huh? As a quick aside, while at My office, I will use the men's room to urinate when others are in there, but if I have to take a shit, I insist that I have the room to Myself. If others are there, I go to another floor where my excremental noises will not be heard by people who know Me! As long as My brown noises are anonymous, I really don't care. I can shit in a public toilet with gay abandon! (And by that, I do not mean “gay” in the sense of homosexual. Rather, I mean it in the sense of taking joy in the process! So there you go!) But I cannot say the same about the office where I work. I must refrain from revealing those secrets! Ha! I'll bet many of you will have a field day analyzing all of this! Have fun with it, especially you, anjuli! I will want to have a laugh at your take on all of this! I am Remoses. Just because it's inconvenient, doesn't mean it's not required. Quod principi placet legis habet vigorem (The pleasure of the prince has the force of law.) **Pronounce it: Ray-mosay.** Edited 22 Jul 08, 7:59 PM by Remoses Next page