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	SD! : Web boards : Discipline : "I have a question..." 1 2 3 4 I have a question... (31) Wed 23 Jul 08, 10:36 PM Amo_s_beauty US, 16 mths Should a slave be punished if a Master loses control and gets angry and the slave gets angry back? Just wondering your opinions? Should a slave also get punished for bad PMS attitudes? 23 Jul 08, 11:19 PM obielax US(OH), 9 mths Y! Amo_s_beauty wrote: I have a question... Should a slave be punished if a Master loses control and gets angry and the slave gets angry back? Just wondering your opinions? Should a slave also get punished for bad PMS attitudes? In My house my pet has standing orders to protect herself at all times. If I were to lose control I would expect her to defend herself by any means appropreate. If she has been loaned out and the guest Top crossed the line she has orders to stop action and report to me soonest. Not knowing your particulars I can't say if thats the case but in general I would be leanant in that situation. As far as PMS, I'll hold that thought to myself. Obie Say what you mean, mean what you say. 23 Jul 08, 11:29 PM Master_Snoopy UK, 13 mths Amo_s_beauty wrote: I have a question... Should a slave be punished if a Master loses control and gets angry and the slave gets angry back? Well yes in my opinion the slave should be punished, but only when the Master is calm, and the Master should apologise for losing control and explain what will be done to rectify this in the future. Control should never be lost, but if it happens it has to be delt with. Amo_s_beauty wrote: Just wondering your opinions? Should a slave also get punished for bad PMS attitudes? "Its a reason , not an excuse" Is an often repeated quote, and I think apt. Master should perhaps be aware and avoid undue stress, but slave must put extra effort in to behave. For the harmony of both/all parties Edited 23 Jul 08, 11:30 PM by Master_Snoopy 23 Jul 08, 11:39 PM Eclectic1 US(ID), 13 mths When you loose control do nothing but cool off and regroup. Were you angry at her or yourself for losing control? Personally I don't hold medical problems to account unless they have been controlled in the past. If this is a first then quit possibly it is a test you don't want to fail. 24 Jul 08, 7:48 AM ravenkaldera US(MA), 3 yrs Amo_s_beauty wrote: Should a slave be punished if a Master loses control and gets angry and the slave gets angry back? Just wondering your opinions? Should a slave also get punished for bad PMS attitudes? I assume this means that your dom lost it and punished you anyway, and you want some sympathy? Well, no, ideally a dom/me should have better self-control than their property. This is a matter of you deciding if he is in control enough to be trusted with a power dynamic. And a slave with PMS should be "punished" by being dragged to the appropriate health care practitioner and given medication to help the situation. Or perhaps the dom/me might like to guinea-pig various herbal medicines on the slave to see what works. Often these things take time to find the right formula for the individual hormonal situation, but if the dom/me is really in charge, they can force the hormonal slave to keep trying things until something works, and then keep taking it or else. If you have PMS to the point where you cannot control yourself, you have a problem, not an excuse. It needs to be fixed. One or the other of you is going to have to do something about it. If he can't control himself, he needs help as well. -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 24 Jul 08, 7:54 AM Ms_Valentine 8 mths PMS is horrible and anyone who thinks it's effects can just be shrugged off or easily controlled does not know or understand how dreadful one can feel. I am a Mistress so I speak not as a sub trying to help other subs but as a woman explaining to any men who may not be aware that PMS is not just feeling a bit cranky. Yesterday I was feeling sick all day. My breasts hurt so that even touching them made me wince. My back ached, my head throbbed. I felt dizzy, tired and bloated up beyond belief. All of this means that is if I was a sub I would be out of action during those days of PMS as surely as if I had a bad cold or a migraine. If my sub suffered similar symptoms once a month, I would be very careful to look after him and treat him with kindness and care. Edited 24 Jul 08, 1:43 PM by Ms_Valentine 24 Jul 08, 6:25 PM Amo_s_beauty US, 16 mths No I have not been punished. What happened was this... Amo was being a little rough on our son, not bad, but I just did not like it, so I said you need to stop or next time I am calling the cops...now that was toatlly not called for and he really did nothing that serious, BUT, my PMS was occuring and I am over sensitive to things. So anyways, he slammed the drawer in the kitchen and it broke saying he did not do anything...then I slapped him because I was scared that he was breaking things...now yeah I caused all of it, so I did not talk to Amo for days...I get very bad PMS, I do not know why. So that is the story, no he did not punish me because he based it on medical conditions...what do you think? I would not look for sympathy btw. Except for 7 days out of the year, I am a pretty good girl.... Edited 24 Jul 08, 6:31 PM by Amo_s_beauty 24 Jul 08, 7:53 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs Domestic violence workers and advocates have a saying: "When furniture gets broken, sooner or later people get broken." There was a period in our relationship where Mr L acted out violently (screaming, slamming a door and breaking it, punching the wall). I would never under ANY circumstances have even fleetingly considered entering a D/s power dynamic with him while that behavior remained. He got himself under control, and *then* he was able to begin owning me. Krista No feminist thinks men and women are exactly the same. But what we reject is the notion that the difference between men and women is that men are human and women are objects. 24 Jul 08, 10:41 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 2 yrs Amo_s_beauty wrote: Amo was being a little rough on our son, not bad, but I just did not like it, so I said you need to stop or next time I am calling the cops...now that was toatlly not called for and he really did nothing that serious, BUT, my PMS was occuring and I am over sensitive to things. So anyways, he slammed the drawer in the kitchen and it broke saying he did not do anything...then I slapped him because I was scared that he was breaking things...now yeah I caused all of it, so I did not talk to Amo for days Warning: My comments may be contentious here. They are not meant cruelly, they are just My thoughts after reading the OP's post: If your Owner was rough with your son in a way that *genuinely* concerned you as his Mother, especially as he was also breaking furniture, and to the degree that you felt justified in saying you would call the police, then this issue has nothing what so ever to do with M/s or its conventions. Your first duty is to keep your child safe and therefore if you had a *legitimate* worry then you were perfectly right to express your concerns and your boundaries - and his breaking furniture as complaint that he felt your concerns that he was out of control could be seen as confirming your worries. If you *genuinely* over reacted as a result of your PMS (which your slapping him may indicate) then that may make things different, but only you can tell that. I just dont think that blurring worries about family aggression and the correct conventions for M/s is the right way to approach any worries you may have. An Owner needs to be in control. A parent needs to be in control even more. So if you feel legitimately worried, then you need to deal with that. If after serious consideration you believe your PMS was the only factor then perhaps you should deal with that. I hope you work this situation out, Best Wishes. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 25 Jul 08, 1:46 AM Master_Larry US, 2 yrs Oh my gosh I can't believe what I'm reading.... We (us Masters and Mistresses) are supposed to be Gods to our slaves. We are to be revered, honored and worshipped. How can we solicit such undying devotion from our pets if we loose it? Okay I know we are all people here but if a Master or Mistress does get angry for ANY reason they still have a responsibility and an image to maintain. The best thing to do is walk away from an angry situation and regroup and then reapproach. If the Master or Mistress is angry with the actions of a slave then the same thing applies but 100 fold!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER punish your slave out of anger or when you ARE angry. You will eventually loose ALL credibility with your pet. Tell your slave that what they did has made you angry and tell them you will punish them the NEXT day. This gives everyone a moment to breathe and to think. Then make the puishment fit the crime (so to speak). I used to hate it when my girl came home late because it showed an incredible lack of attention to detail and was insubordinate. For punishment I would make her stand in the corner for an entire day for taking advantage of her freedom. Once I even took the keys to her car for an entire week and drove her to work and picked her up every day. The answer to this question is..... No! I do not believe a slave should be punished for getting angry when a Master or Mistress make them angry. If the Master or Mistress had remembered their place (Godhood) then the slave wouldn't have gotten angry. Disclaimer.... This is just my pwn personal opinion. 25 Jul 08, 2:46 AM jerseystara US(OH), 7 mths Y! It is this ones humble opinion, by no means suggesting it is correct, but, if a Master loses control in any situation, then is not the time to punish a sub/slave. Punishment with anger isn't a good thing for either the Master nor the sub/slave. Master Jersey has stated His ideas on this in our conversations and He has said that He would never punish or lay a hand on girl in anger, rather, walk away, calm down, and figure out how to best handle the situation. In the past, with others, this girl has been punished in anger and it caused more pshycological damage rather than correct the bad behavior, which tends to lead to excess baggage when moving from one Owner to the next. This does not excuse the sub/slave from retaliating in anger,it only shows that they need more guidance and control. Each is different, this one knows that for herself, at least, that a calm Master has more affect on her than an angry one. At His feet,tara Next page