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	SD! : Web boards : Discipline : "I have a question..." 1 2 3 4 I have a question... (31) 25 Jul 08, 2:52 AM jerseystara US(OH), 7 mths Y! jerseystara wrote: It is this ones humble opinion, by no means suggesting it is correct, but, if a Master loses control in any situation, then is not the time to punish a sub/slave. Punishment with anger isn't a good thing for either the Master nor the sub/slave. Master Jersey has stated His ideas on this in our conversations and He has said that He would never punish or lay a hand on girl in anger, rather, walk away, calm down, and figure out how to best handle the situation. In the past, with others, this girl has been punished in anger and it caused more pshycological damage rather than correct the bad behavior, which tends to lead to excess baggage when moving from one Owner to the next. This does not excuse the sub/slave from retaliating in anger,it only shows that they need more guidance and control. Each is different, this one knows that for herself, at least, that a calm Master has more affect on her than an angry one. At His feet,tara 25 Jul 08, 3:00 AM jerseystara US(OH), 7 mths Y! Ugh, this girl tried to add something to her last post and it didnt work, so here is the addition: Domestic violence is a different animal altogether and in girls life, her submission could be switched off in a heartbeat if her children were put in harms way and beleives firmly that her children always came first. On the PMS issue, girl has gone through that and agrees, it is not fun in any way, shape or form but needs to be treated with either medical help or natural herbs but also, that it should not be used as a "generic excuse" for bad behavior,also, that it should further, be handled with understanding, care and love. Afterall, we are women and our hormones can at times be quite off kilter for one reason or another. At His feet,tara 25 Jul 08, 4:47 AM slave_emma US(OK), 2 yrs So if PMS is your excuse for loosing control, what is your Master excuse? It just doesn't sound like he had just cause to loose control. Acting violently, out of anger is always unacceptable, regardless of what title one carries. Both of you need to focus more on preventing little outbursts like this, instead trying to determine if one party should be punished or not. You are both guilty. Children are very impressionable and learn a lot about how to deal with life though their parents and other role models in their lives. My Master's ex-wife has anger management problems. When she becomes upset she will start breaking items, beating on the wall, and etc. This behavior used to scare my step-daughter and eventually she picked up her mother's behavior. Once when she was reprimanded by her grandfather for not completing her chores she went in her room and beat her pillow with a golf club. Obviously, my Master and I weren't the least bit amused with how she was dealing with her anger. So we took the time to show her other positive ways to cope with being upset or angry. It took a lot of work and time to help her manage her anger but it is important to us that she doesn't use violence as a solution to a problem. Best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 25 Jul 08, 6:14 AM Amo_s_beauty US, 16 mths Awesome thoughts, thanks! 25 Jul 08, 1:16 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs Perhaps this is off-topic but I'm going to post it anyway (and in My own way); My first (and 'nilla) marriage was really quite violent in both directions. My ex-wife had a lot of issues coming from previous relationships, and I was a heavily stressed and over-medicated psychiatric patient. In the beginning, she always used to hit me first; Hell, she broke My nose (ffs!) before we even got married, and after a few years of it, I'd just had enough, and it got to the point where if an argument 'flamed', something 'snapped' inside me, and I made fuckin' sure I got there first - a lot of the time it was a question of 'survival of the fittest'. I wanna make this clear; I make NO excuses for MY behaviour under any circumstances , I'm merely explaining Myself. Now, My Girl and I do have heated discussions, and worse sometimes; rows that she considers to be 'nuclear', when frankly I'd've given anything to have quiet ones like we have now back then (lol); What I'm saying is this; even at our hottest argumentative state, something is different, I can't put My finger on it, but I have a gauge (somewhere, somehow) of how likely I'd be to lash out and strike My Girl in anger (because of history); 0-10; 0 being 'No', 10 being 'I've hit her'. I know when trouble's brewing and I owe to her, and then Myself to LEAVE and calm Myself, gather Myself back under control before it gets out of hand and she gets hurt. But I make sure that number never gets above 5. I couldn't possibly suppose to be in control of someone, without having control of, or having regained control of Myself first. I'm in absolute agreemnet with little_linnet on that. As part of My daily regime, My Girl gets whipped; it keeps her focussed, but if we've had anything more than a fleeting disagreemnt, I cancel the days session. I need to be certain that I won't take out any excess or remaining anger out on her using the end of a cane or other weapon. That would just be cruel of too profound-a-kind. It pisses me off that I can't have the session because of it, she gets upset that I 'won't discipline her today' (even as much as she hates it,she expects it now), but I just feel it would be irresponsible of Me to do so, knowing what I 'oould' be like with a cane in My hand. Did I mention I was sadist? I try to be responsible in being one. I'm going to suggest you guys have kink-aware counselling; you can't be arguing like you do, you can't be breaking the place up, you're gonna be doing that in front of the children for sure at some point (or in ear-shot, if not in person), and then you've already said you've slapped the guy. Get help. Fast. Talk to talk. Master's l'il oneŽ(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 26 Jul 08, 8:59 PM Kahuna UK, 5 mths Amo_s_beauty wrote: I have a question... Should a slave also get punished for bad PMS attitudes? I dont think a slave should be punished for PMS. that is a stupid idea. Generally pms cannot be controled. Men dont seem to understand that PMS is not just women being moody and that it can vary greatly between each individual. I used to get really bad problems that would last 7 days or more causing me to be sick alot, extreme cramps in my legs and lower back and migranes. most of the time i was unable to lie down as it was uncomfortable, i was unable to sit up straight as my back would not let me, and i was unable to stand up as my legs ached. Instead id end up curled up in a ball on the floor. I would be off work and school (when i was younger) for days as i could barely move, nevermind think straight. I ended up being put on contraceptive pills by my doctor and they have helped a HELL of alot, i not longer suffer for a week, im only in pain for the first day. however i do tend to be edgy. PMS attitudes CANNOT be helped and a slave should NOT be punished for having them. 27 Jul 08, 9:00 AM JRCs_petk HK, 14 mths Y! I'm not going to repeat what has already been said, you've received a lot of good advice in the above posts. Whilst in the states last week I noticed an advertisement for a new contraceptive pill on the market ("Yaz" I think? It was a 3 letter name, can't remember the name of it). This new contraceptive pill has been proven to ease the symptoms of PMS/cramps/heavy periods. Whilst it may not eradicate the symptoms all together, it may be a help. I've found most contraceptive pills ease the above symptoms, however this new pill is apparently more effective. Talk to your doctor, you (and your Owner!) do not have to put up with nasty PMS symptoms. Cheers, kim 27 Jul 08, 9:26 AM subsfaith UK, 3 yrs Amo_s_beauty wrote: Amo was being a little rough on our son, not bad, but I just did not like it, so I said you need to stop or next time I am calling the cops. Beauty, What you actually said was 'I don't trust you to parent our child' and 'I have no respect for you'. Specifically with children, we all make mistakes, and there is no right or wrong way per se, just different ways. If Amo chose a different way to handle a situation than you, that is his choice, it is not wrong! There is more than one way to skin a cat remember. So what if he doesn't do it your way? Is it such a big deal or are you that much of a control freak Beauty? Now before you go blasting me Beauty, I know exactly where you are coming from, I used to be a control freak too. We used to have lots of similar struggles that you and Amo post about. I don't for one minute think all the issues start with you, life tells me situations are generally six of one and half a dozen of another. But I do know that they can end with just you! The answers come from within yourself Beauty. Stop blaming him for his part and think about what you can do to change. If you change, this will help Amo and his constant struggle for control. If he does something wrong, stop beating him up over it, just get over it girl, we are all human and all make mistakes. Stop giving him your opinion, let him make the decision. Whenever you disagree with him, shut up about it, remember he is in control, not you! I know this is hard for you Beauty, but I do believe you can submit or I wouldn't be giving you my time. I respect the way that you two keep battling on both within your relationship and here even though you have been flamed so many times. You don't give up and I like that quality. In general Beauty, grow up and grow a pair. You wanted to live like this, you can't turn around and say 'time out' whenever you have a hissy fit. Faith Edited 27 Jul 08, 9:27 AM by subsfaith 30 Jul 08, 12:05 AM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 3 yrs Y! Yes! Finally someone here said what should be said. Grow up and be a submissive or give up the game Beauty. I'd like to add my own beliefs here: You wouldn't want to be doing BDSM with an out-of-control (due to binge drinking or whatever) Master, so why would Amo want to be doing it with a Out-of-control (due to PMS or whatever) sub? Think about that? THen maybe take a break from BDSM and D/s for awhile until you get treated for your temporary insanity issues. LL 3 Aug 08, 7:25 AM Amo_s_beauty US, 16 mths I appreciate all the excellent advice. Thank you. Edited 3 Aug 08, 7:26 AM by Amo_s_beauty Next page