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	SD! : Web boards : Sex & Fetishes : "BDSM POEM ( let me know what you think)" BDSM POEM ( let me know what you think) (2) Tue 5 Aug 08, 4:05 PM yourslaveandy US(CT), 4 mths£ ENJOY You walk around me, and stand at my back, lean in so I can feel your rack, You pull my hands out of my sight I feel the handcuff closing tight, You whisper, be my slave tonight, I promise to treat you right, You hands feel cold when you slip on the blindfold, You glide your hands down my back all I can see is black You take loud steps walking around making sure I hear the sound, As you push me, back against a wall I hear you say, I own your soul, Knowing that I can not see you bring yourself to a knee, You lean in without a sound I feel my ankles being bound, As you rip of my shirt, buttons, and all, I can hear them fall, You touch my bear chest and whisper, this is not a test, You stand up and let your dress fall, I cannot see you at all, I try to take a peek I feel a slap across my cheek, You see me tremble, and say, relax you knew this was a gamble, You whisper, a slave has to look right, and pull the leather neck collar tight You say I hope this makes sense, and undo my pants You tell that I am a fool, as you expose my love tool, I am hard as a rock when your lips touch my cock You swallow me with ease but I know your just a tease you pull away without a sound asking if I am ready for the second round I feel a playful squeeze as you pull me down to my knees, You rest your hands on your hips and bring your breast down to my lips, You say open wide and push your breast inside, You command me to suck, while arching you back, You reach for something on the floor saying I hope your ready for more, Spreading your pussy lips wide you guide a huge dildo inside, You pull back your beautiful breast smile, and say this part is the best, You take your sexy toy bring it up to my lips with joy, whispering be good boy don't fight, suck, and enjoy. 11 Aug 08, 5:11 PM Mr_Fire_and_Ice US, 14 mths  909-128-604 wrote: BDSM POEM ( let me know what you think) ENJOY You walk around me, and stand at my back, lean in so I can feel your rack, You pull my hands out of my sight I feel the handcuff closing tight, You whisper, be my slave tonight, I promise to treat you right, You hands feel cold when you slip on the blindfold, You glide your hands down my back all I can see is black You take loud steps walking around making sure I hear the sound, As you push me, back against a wall I hear you say, I own your soul, Knowing that I can not see you bring yourself to a knee, You lean in without a sound I feel my ankles being bound, As you rip of my shirt, buttons, and all, I can hear them fall, You touch my bear chest and whisper, this is not a test, You stand up and let your dress fall, I cannot see you at all, I try to take a peek I feel a slap across my cheek, You see me tremble, and say, relax you knew this was a gamble, You whisper, a slave has to look right, and pull the leather neck collar tight You say I hope this makes sense, and undo my pants You tell that I am a fool, as you expose my love tool, I am hard as a rock when your lips touch my cock You swallow me with ease but I know your just a tease you pull away without a sound asking if I am ready for the second round I feel a playful squeeze as you pull me down to my knees, You rest your hands on your hips and bring your breast down to my lips, You say open wide and push your breast inside, You command me to suck, while arching you back, You reach for something on the floor saying I hope your ready for more, Spreading your pussy lips wide you guide a huge dildo inside, You pull back your beautiful breast smile, and say this part is the best, You take your sexy toy bring it up to my lips with joy, whispering be good boy don't fight, suck, and enjoy. I think it was good. I think you screwed up your format when you said.... "You say I hope this makes sense, and undo my pants." First of all you screwed up your ryhming flow or the pattern you started and ended with. You struggled with that line. It seems you were trying to put that in, but it just doesn't fit......lyrically. Also, you should elminate that line because it expresses doubt in your Master. "You say I hope this makes sense......". That line doesn't fit the picture you painted your Master to be from the beginning. A Master who very sure of herself and very confident. That line you put in says she lacks confidence....I would take it out completely. Also I would find something different than "......you tell that I'm a fool". Unless that's something that turns you on. Although,it seems that you were only trying to find something to ryhme with "love tool". Anyway, I would find a different idea there. Also......."you rest your hands on your hips"....My question is ..........How do you know her hands are on her hips? Unless she tells you. Remember your blindfolded. You have to remember every detail makes a good poem. If you can keep the reader as if they are watching a movie in thier mind. You want the reader to believe what they read is real. You want them to feel as if the story is happening right before thier eyes. Therefore every true detail counts. I do notice that in the remaining lines, you describe her motion. Again, I point out....your blindfolded. These are ust some comments I have. I am a BDSM poetry writer. Perhaps you should consider making a few changes. Otherwise, it's a beautiful poem! 15 Sep 08, 2:22 AM David_sama US(WI), 3 mths  I think it was rather good.