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	SD! : Web boards : Submission : "NEED ADVICE plz" 1 2 NEED ADVICE plz (13) Sat 9 Aug 08, 10:29 AM 764-803-982 UK, 5 mths hi iv been given permission for the first time to add a topic so i will say Hello to everyone " helllooo" ok i have a problem. iv been having a problem with abit of trust and i am kind of scared to submit again fully, just incase it goes all wrong.. my Mistress and I have been talking and getting around the issue, and we have decided to try again.... the problem is we had been dating(vannila) for over 4 years and only in the last week or two. we decided to take it further, but something came up and broke that trust... the issue i am talking about happened when we had split up. but my heart had not realy left, so i feel i had been cheated on will i learn to trust agian and has any one been there who can give me some advice and word of wisdom i realy need it so plz feel free to say what you think thankyou in advance 9 Aug 08, 12:07 PM Sgiandubhs_ceilidh US, 2 yrs Y! you will trust again, but talking to your Mistress about your feelings is very important. Do not dwell on these feelings and making up your mind if you want to have a wonderful relationship, no matter how long or short it will last, or do you want to mire yourself down in the feelings and be miserable and never trust again. i chose to move on and to forgive. i will never forget, but by moving on, i am now having a wonderful time and trust is rebuilding everyday. Love without rules. ceilidh 9 Aug 08, 4:58 PM 764-803-982 UK, 5 mths thank you so much for your sound advice and i wil take that on board thank you 10 Aug 08, 3:54 AM nalla06 US(WI), 6 mths Y! hi this will probably be long and at times confusing but bare with me. i to came from a abusive relationship in some ways. the thing is i made the mistake twice. when i meet Sir i was in the end of a bad time,and could see no end to it. we started just as friends and then more. i still could not trust Him. i just knew at some point He would hurt or leave me. even when we got into the life i could not let go. i used the past to justify how i felt. and to hold us back. then i would only trust Him so far, and would frustrate Him to no end. i even kept writting in my journal how i felt, and was lieing in there, it took a dream while i was out on the road with Him to find the answer, i wrote it down in my journal and He read it. needless to say i got a letter put in my journal from Him. He promised He would never leave me, never hurt me, and always be there for me. if for some reason He had to leave it was not by His will. then He told me to shit and get off the pot. it hit me then it was not Him i did not trust, but me. i had to let go ofwhat happened in the past. He was my future, my heart and soul. the choice is always up to you. but search inside of yourself and make sure you are not hurting yourself in the process of answering your question 10 Aug 08, 10:18 AM 764-803-982 UK, 5 mths thanks nalla06 it does feel kinda hard sometimes becuase it hurts to think of what happened. iv promised Mistress. that i will not leave her over it, but its still hard on my when i think back at it but you do make sense and i know that deep down, so d like to say thank you for your advice, it is realy helping me think striaght 11 Aug 08, 9:32 AM masterfiremaam US(AZ), 2 yrs Why are you beginning a new kind of relationship with a person you don't trust from an old kind of relationship? Changing the dynamic will NOT fix the relationship. Master Fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Hai! Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11 Aug 08, 11:10 PM 764-803-982 UK, 5 mths i did state it was abit, anyway its not that bad.. just wanted to get it out, thats all 12 Aug 08, 6:52 AM MasterJC 5 mths 764-803-982 wrote: NEED ADVICE plz hi iv been given permission for the first time to add a topic so i will say Hello to everyone " helllooo" ok i have a problem. iv been having a problem with abit of trust and i am kind of scared to submit again fully, just incase it goes all wrong.. my Mistress and I have been talking and getting around the issue, and we have decided to try again.... the problem is we had been dating(vannila) for over 4 years and only in the last week or two. we decided to take it further, but something came up and broke that trust... the issue i am talking about happened when we had split up. but my heart had not realy left, so i feel i had been cheated on will i learn to trust agian and has any one been there who can give me some advice and word of wisdom i realy need it so plz feel free to say what you think thankyou in advance First it is hard going from vanilla to O/our life style and it seems pretty quick for the slave... If the slave and its Mistrees were not together then everyone was a free agent..just as the slave also during this time... is it trust or something else?? in any relationship it is hard at best to be trusting and involved...but in O/our world trust is the basis or fabric of the Master/slave relationship... I wonder if slave has talked to its Mistress about other feelings...the transition from rights to no rights, can be pretty scary to begin with for a slave better to communicate in the now as a slave to its Mistress rather than the past...which is of course the past... I know this is simplified, but if my doctor was out of town and I had an emergency and saw another doctor....would I be unfaithful to my own doctor???? Now of course not.... is it trust or the change of dynamics??? cheers MasterJC 12 Aug 08, 9:14 PM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs re: trust - was in the same position when my marriage was vanilla, pre-collaring, exactly the same. What i have learned from that is that trust is earned and my late Master agreed with me 100% on that - and did in fact get my trust back over time, leading to the Collaring. Since Y/you have already changed the dynamic in the relationship, i'm sure that it would probably work out different in the details. But i do know that for me, it took TIME - as Master would say, Time can stand for Things I Must Earn. But if Y/you're going to make this work , i'd say you also have to take the risk and give your Owner time to be able to show you that this Person can now be trusted. Much as i expect some would disagree with me on that, i suspect O/others, including Owners, would agree that it takes time to build that trust and to develop any kind of attention j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin 13 Aug 08, 1:29 AM MasterJC 5 mths 662-935-655 wrote: re: trust - was in the same position when my marriage was vanilla, pre-collaring, exactly the same. What i have learned from that is that trust is earned and my late Master agreed with me 100% on that - and did in fact get my trust back over time, leading to the Collaring. Since Y/you have already changed the dynamic in the relationship, i'm sure that it would probably work out different in the details. But i do know that for me, it took TIME - as Master would say, Time can stand for Things I Must Earn. But if Y/you're going to make this work , i'd say you also have to take the risk and give your Owner time to be able to show you that this Person can now be trusted. Much as i expect some would disagree with me on that, i suspect O/others, including Owners, would agree that it takes time to build that trust and to develop any kind of attention Nope TOTALLY agree O/our relationships in O/our life style take time and nuturing.. A good and responsible Master knows the prize a slave is offering...and THAT is not to be taken lightly A valued slave is worth a MILLION to a Master!!!!! And the slave's trust and the Master's is the WORLD of O/our life cheers MasterJC 13 Aug 08, 1:31 AM MasterJC 5 mths nalla06 wrote: hi this will probably be long and at times confusing but bare with me. i to came from a abusive relationship in some ways. the thing is i made the mistake twice. when i meet Sir i was in the end of a bad time,and could see no end to it. we started just as friends and then more. i still could not trust Him. i just knew at some point He would hurt or leave me. even when we got into the life i could not let go. i used the past to justify how i felt. and to hold us back. then i would only trust Him so far, and would frustrate Him to no end. i even kept writting in my journal how i felt, and was lieing in there, it took a dream while i was out on the road with Him to find the answer, i wrote it down in my journal and He read it. needless to say i got a letter put in my journal from Him. He promised He would never leave me, never hurt me, and always be there for me. if for some reason He had to leave it was not by His will. then He told me to shit and get off the pot. it hit me then it was not Him i did not trust, but me. i had to let go ofwhat happened in the past. He was my future, my heart and soul. the choice is always up to you. but search inside of yourself and make sure you are not hurting yourself in the process of answering your question Is the slave ok now???? Every responsible Master would ask that : cheers MasterJC Next page