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	SD! : Web boards : Poly D/s : "Becoming 3" Becoming 3 (8) Tue 19 Aug 08, 11:46 PM enahrose US(AL), 9 mths This is actually what I wrote in my journal today but decided maybe you WONDERFUL and insightful people may be able to help me sort my feelings and confused thoughts. Enah's Journal Aug 19th 2008 Master has been talking to a girl at work, who is submissive, for the last couple weeks (since a training class he taught that she was in and he noticed the subtle hints of a submissive).It sytarted out as just her wanting to know more about the lifestyle but things are now apparently sliding into a more “interested” area on both Master's and the girl's part. I have not met this lady yet and Master has made plans for her to come out this weekend. Master and I are discussing this a lot as I am feeling rather tentative about all of it. On one hand I am excited and eager to meet and get to know a prospective sister while on the other hand I am scared and worried about all the what ifs. She and Master are already developing something, I am not sure if it's a blossoming love, a deep friendship, or what. He did confess he wanted to kiss her last night after work but did not (and told her of his desire to kiss her, at which she asked if that was against the rules). I feel slightly betrayed that he is having those feelings before I am even able to meet this person. the rational side of me knows that things have to start somewhere with a triad so its only natural that one of us will develop a relationship with a prospective 3rd first. Now of course there is the question how do I have a right to be jealous when Master has shared me with other men in the past. Well those past instances where strictly sex there were no other feelings involved, not even lust really. I never lusted after any of those partners it was simply something to try. This thing appears to be moving into a real full fledge relationship not just a play date every now and then. I can tell this by things Master tells me that he and this girl talk about after work. And Master himself says he doesn't really enjoy “empty” sex or sexual intercourse without and emotional connection (hmm does Master have a feminine trait there??) so it is logical to conclude that he is developing an emotional connection with this girl as he is thinking about a sexual relationship with her. That budding emotional connect is scary for me right now. What do you guys think, what is your advice? 20 Aug 08, 10:42 AM Ms_Valentine 8 mths enahrose wrote: Becoming 3 This is actually what I wrote in my journal today but decided maybe you WONDERFUL and insightful people may be able to help me sort my feelings and confused thoughts. Enah's Journal Aug 19th 2008 Master has been talking to a girl at work, who is submissive, for the last couple weeks (since a training class he taught that she was in and he noticed the subtle hints of a submissive).It sytarted out as just her wanting to know more about the lifestyle but things are now apparently sliding into a more “interested” area on both Master's and the girl's part. I have not met this lady yet and Master has made plans for her to come out this weekend. Master and I are discussing this a lot as I am feeling rather tentative about all of it. On one hand I am excited and eager to meet and get to know a prospective sister while on the other hand I am scared and worried about all the what ifs. She and Master are already developing something, I am not sure if it's a blossoming love, a deep friendship, or what. He did confess he wanted to kiss her last night after work but did not (and told her of his desire to kiss her, at which she asked if that was against the rules). I feel slightly betrayed that he is having those feelings before I am even able to meet this person. the rational side of me knows that things have to start somewhere with a triad so its only natural that one of us will develop a relationship with a prospective 3rd first. Now of course there is the question how do I have a right to be jealous when Master has shared me with other men in the past. Well those past instances where strictly sex there were no other feelings involved, not even lust really. I never lusted after any of those partners it was simply something to try. This thing appears to be moving into a real full fledge relationship not just a play date every now and then. I can tell this by things Master tells me that he and this girl talk about after work. And Master himself says he doesn't really enjoy “empty” sex or sexual intercourse without and emotional connection (hmm does Master have a feminine trait there??) so it is logical to conclude that he is developing an emotional connection with this girl as he is thinking about a sexual relationship with her. That budding emotional connect is scary for me right now. What do you guys think, what is your advice? HI, I have never been or wanted to be in a poly relationship. I am also a female Mistress so you may feel that my answers and comments have little use for you. I could try and answer this 'as if' I were you but as I cannot fully grasp what your life is all about, this would be ineffective and say more about me than anything else. Whether you have the right to feel jealous is a matter which only you and your Master can decide, knowing your relationship as you do. That does not alter the fact that you are feeling jealous, and worried about how the new sub Master seems to be getting involved with is going to affect you. It is probably very natural that change will make you feel fearful and concerned. The fact your Master lent you to men to be used is in no way analogous to how you feel about your Master having emotional feelings toward another sub. You had sexual contact with men because you were ordered to. Your Master would not feel jealous of that as he arranged it. You feel jealous and worried that something is happening which is out of your control, is new and may have a detrimental effect upon your life. I think the key is your Master and how he acts in this situation. He may want to the new sub to form part of a poly relationship and in which case you will have to deal with it. He can help you to feel better about it if he is a good Master. He can understand your fears, reassure you, guide you and not appear to be passing you over in the head rush of desire he may feel for the new sub. If he is a good Master and values the slave/Master relationship you have, he will work extra hard at this point. Introducing a third into a couple is a flash-point moment and handled badly things can go awfully wrong. Handled well, all three people can thrive. Hopefully you feel enough trust in your Master to still be able to go forward towards the poly relationship with willingness and full of desire to please your Master. If that trust is diminishing, you have have problems to sort out first and I hope he would put the introduction of the new sub on hold until he had sorted those out. Poly relationship seem like very very hard work and anyone who thinks otherwise must be crazy. The Master must be very skilled to keep all his slaves contentedly going forward the way he wants without undue jealousy or upset. Please talk to him seriously about all your concerns and hold nothing back. He has to make decisions when he knows all the facts. Good luck and I hope that it works out well for you all. Edited for typo's...I was not awake earlier. Edited 20 Aug 08, 1:35 PM by Ms_Valentine 20 Aug 08, 5:41 PM MasterCade US(VA), 3 yrs Y! I agree with most all of what Mistress stated so I will not take up the space with repeated comments. With that said, I have been involved in poly households before and the one key element that has to be resolved before moving in this direction is "Will the girls in the household be able to get along and be sisters?". Do the girls interact well and want to be there for each other, or are they aggressive in the competition for there Masters attention therefore developing a false and deceiving emotional state which tends to lead to havoc over time. Of course it all evolved around the type of lifestyle you lead and if it is one of 24/7 proportions, I would suggest, and have always let my slave interact with another perceptive piece of property before admitting her into the household. I feel for you and hope things work out for the best. Cade Edited 20 Aug 08, 5:43 PM by MasterCade 20 Aug 08, 6:21 PM enahrose US(AL), 9 mths I think my main problem is NOT haveing met her yet. That will come sunday and then i think 99% of my fears will be put to rest. 20 Aug 08, 10:09 PM Matthews_Bitch US(GA), 5 mths Y! I agree with Mistress, I have never and will never be in a poly relationship. However, I can see where you are coming from. Are you not allowed to talk to her on the phone or maybe online (email or even instant messages)? I would talk to him and ask him if that would be possible. If he says no, then you are just going to have to calm down, take a deep breath and wait until Sunday. Proud to be married to and owned by Matthew! 21 Aug 08, 12:17 AM enahrose US(AL), 9 mths Yes i emailed her last night. She replied and seems pleasent and eager to meet me. I am sure it's all going to be ok. I do have a say in this If i say NO Master will drop the whole idea...but I must at least give it a try. 31 Aug 08, 12:22 AM OpheliaDies72 US(UT), 5 mths Y! How did it turn out? 3 Sep 08, 6:03 PM enahrose US(AL), 9 mths She was very nice and seemed to be respectful and eager. We are still exploring what this will mean in our lives. What we want, what we expect, so on and so forth. i did make what i thought were requests but were maybe more like demands (no sexual activity kissing etc without me present). However i have come to a realization. i am trying to control this situation and i am a SLAVE! i dont like or want control. When i have to control things i worry and stress resulting in me being bitchy and eventually sick. i gave Master that control over me becuase i was happier and more peaceful when not haveing to deal with the weight of everything on my shoulders. Master will control how when where etc with this just like he does with me. It will be what it will be and i will be with Master for better or worse till death do us part. I am going to embrass what joy it gives us and weather what storms may come. 5 Sep 08, 1:25 PM Sungmehetu US(OR), 2 yrs Y! I have to chime in. You meeting her was the first crucial step. If your Master allows it, spend every moment of your free time on the phone/net/lunches with her. She will become part of your FAMILY. That is the key point. Trust must be balenced, In six directions instead of two. You for her, her for you, Him for her, you for Him, etc. If it doesn't feel like family, jealousy WILL rear it's ugly head. I was a bit smarter on Oour third. I let pokey pick out a list of people she wanted to get to know. I let her do that under a bit of supervision. She reported which ones seemed most real/trustworthy/intelligent...I made the final decision. In December "brie" will be joining Oour family. A CD from Montana. I hope you fall madly in love with your third. Cause that is about what it takes. Good Luck and Be Well Michael, pokie n brie. Edited 5 Sep 08, 1:26 PM by Sungmehetu