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	SD! : Web boards : The Slave Register : "Who is REAL LIFESTYLE, and who is just looking in?" 1 2 3 Who is REAL LIFESTYLE, and who is just looking in? (26) 24 Sep 08, 9:29 PM SurrogateFamily 6 mths 613-411-535 wrote: I find the two tier system on this site very frustrating. I feel I cannot post on many boards here because only those in 24/7 relationships may do so. The issues raised are often just as relevent to my relationship as to any others. There are reasons for this discrimintion, of course, but I increasingly find that I cannot express myself here and have to go elsewhre. That's sad. (for me, anyway!) I was brought up around "Hells Angel"-type bikers who enjoyed saying, "If you ain't got a bike, you ain't shit!". I was a boy and didn't have a bike: I took offence. I never respected them. When I was finally old enough, I bought, not a bike, but the biggest Volvo I could find (bikers hate Volvo drivers). Sometimes small things have big effects unintentionally. "Real Life" is open to interpretation. Submissives without a dominant feel as unnatural as dominants without a submissive. When I have a 24/7 relationship, I feel whole. At the moment, I'm seeking again - and I'm empty. That's still "real life" to me. Despite having everything a man could want: wonderful wife, home, family, career etc. without a slave, I have no reflection. I think the OP is not intending offence to you or I, but referring to people researching this site for curiosity or psychology courses (I've met two here in the past). 24 Sep 08, 10:23 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs 613-411-535 wrote: I agree, but what does "(Online relationships are off-topic for this board.)" mean, then? Online/LDR has their own board for one thing, but that's an open digression from the simple nature of the intended subject matter of the section of the forum in any case. What I suggested, though, is that 'you' as a member of the said 'Online/LDR' Board using community are no less entitled to make a valid and justified opinion on any thread on any board of the forum; what does matter though, is when a thread is opened on the wrong board at all. That is why each type of thread and subject matter has it's own section in the first place. Any thread that was misplaced would be subject being moved to the appropriate board and perhaps criticism (from some) for being placed on the wrong board, given that it's obvious to most that there is a board specifically for such a purpose here too. It's not a question of your comments being unwelcome, it's more a thing of the topic not being appropriate for the section it was in, I suspect. Lovingly Owned by ~Miss Phay~ Edited 25 Sep 08, 8:35 PM by 000-874-172 25 Sep 08, 11:02 AM 613-411-535 4 mths Thanks. It's not that I've had posts moved, just that I've avoided posting on some boards which seem not to welcome comments from those not currently in 24/7 relationships. Maybe i'll try being more adventurous... 25 Sep 08, 3:05 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths I actually think Sean nailed it there. It's not that those in online and LDRs can have no input to the M/s or 24/7 boards - just that they are not to be used for discussions of other types of relationship, and additionally that it pays to be careful not to offer advice as though you have experience that is directly relevant unless you actually do. I hope that makes sense? Can I just say to others that those feelings of sadness that there are places here where you feel slightly outside of the discussion or excluded are temporary if you're seeking to step inside that circle at some point. What you will find once you're there is that this is pretty much the ONLY place - even on the web - where this sort of resource and community of people who are genuinely able to share and understand and talk about the challenges and delights of real-time, 24/7, M/s. I've never found or heard of another like it. Everywhere else we are a minority within a minority and a badly understood one at that and we can sadly find we're rejected or attacked even by the those in the wider lifestyle that we hope would be more open-minded. We protect TSR/SD and its integrity not for the purposes of excluding others but because it is precious and a lifeline to lots of us. Please do come in and share with us - just understand if you are not there yet and haven't yet found your one that there are things we struggle with and need to share with others who have and finding that actually a reply is based on an online relationship (or any other different type of relationship) is unhelpful and frustrating when you're having a hard time with something or just needing to talk to someone who you KNOW understands and has been there. I used the net to explore and learn first, had an online relationship (altho it was never going to be 24/7 and I knew that was what I wanted). I have spent time seeing J only at weekends and so on at the beginning, spent six months on the other side of the world from him, and was his sub before he moved us to M/s and collared me (altho at that point we knew and could plan for the time when we could be together). I'm not going to say that none of that was relevant or that it had no value... but it did have limitations, there were 'outs' for want of a better phrase, limits to his control, things we couldn't do, things I didn't experience. And there were undoubtedly new challenges and things I'd not expected when we finally were together full-time and the M/s became a daily reality with no escape and no diversions or excuses possible. And this place has been a wonderful resource for learning and sharing and making it thro some tough times. I hope we can all protect it and ensure that it goes on being as valuable for ourselves and others. We need both - community and acceptance, and a bit of the guard-dog stuff from all of us. I expect we'll muddle thro one way or another eh? <grins> anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 25 Sep 08, 5:36 PM 613-411-535 4 mths Anjuli, thank you. I have grown to respect your posts. They are an inspiration and a foundation. I will tread with care, but a little further than I have up til now. My relationship is very special. We have an empathy that I would not abandon simply for a chance of a 24/7 relationship with someone else: the price is worth it. Where we may end up, I don't know, but I do know I'm happier now than I was in my last R/T relationship. Thanks also to everyone else who has posted here for much constructive and thought provoking debate 25 Sep 08, 7:50 PM 315-076-759 UK, 7 mths 613-411-535 wrote: (edited) Anjuli, thank you. I have grown to respect your posts...... May I add my thanks to Anjuli too for clarifying this point? I too have grown to respect your posts and rather learnt the hard way by jumping in with both feet. I watch these 24/7 posts with interest because although in an LDR I find much that applies to me not least in my growth as a slave. But hopefully I am a bit more circumspect with my comments in the 24/7 area. To be a true slave is to be truly free Slave/Sklavos 26 Sep 08, 4:37 AM 555-907-356 US(FL), 5 mths I too agree this site really seems to full of people who are truly a part of this lifestyle. I was on another site similar to the one you mentioned called "collar me" and it was 90 to 95% people who are either playing at or don't understand what this lifestyle truly is. And worse many are just trolling for an easy way to take advantage of others. I feel bad for the few who are truly interested in this lifestyle and thats their only window into this lifestyle. This site is absolutely and amazing resource and community. I am so happy I have found a place where I can learn and make friends and express myself. Thank you Sir for introducing me to this wonderful site. Sir's sunshine *~*~*Sir's sunshine*~*~* There is freedom in chains. Edited 26 Sep 08, 4:39 AM by 555-907-356 26 Sep 08, 2:24 PM mynx_of_Sir US(TX), 6 mths Y! i guess you can consider me a 'noob' as i only found this lifestyle out the end of may. i did my own 'research' then proposed the idea to my husband who naturally declined thinking that me being His slave would somehow hurt me. it took me a month to 'educate' Him on the lifestyle bringing Him all i could for Him to read and browse through. Finally on June 25 He accepted that it wouldn't hurt me and W/we have been happier perse in O/our marriage as well as O/our 'regular' life. He is kind and has surprised me in many ways. To tell you all the truth i'm a bit afraid that my lack of experience would make anyone i meet in the real world say i wasn't a real slave. i thank you all for the advice i have gotten from this site. i have to agree that there seems to be more real people in the lifestyle here than on any other site. any tips on finding the 'real' lifestylers and what some signs should be of any fakers? Love who you are, Never who you aren't owned by Master Al 28 Oct 08, 7:45 PM Scarpia UK, 2 yrs After the changes to SD! from TSR, I wrote: "We.ve given it two weeks since I wrote that TSR had seemed a homely sort of place where the less extreme types practising M/s or D/s could chat. However, with the inclusion of more emphasis on the BDSM and fetish "scene", "SD" is looking to me just like a red version of "IC". "I suppose our needs were too basic for a site which feels a need to justify advertisers' expenditure by drawing in the most eclectic possible membership -- we hoped simply to find somewhere to exchange experiences with others involved in loving Ms/Ds long term relationships." I still believe that the changes were not in the interests of ordinary folk who just happen to live in loving M/s or D/s relationships, but, the fact remains that 229-555-474 and I could not find a web community with any worthwhile membership which better meets our needs. So, somewhat reluctantly, we're back. Ergo, despite the many Pseuds and Pervs, long live TSR..........sorry, SD!. Edited 28 Oct 08, 7:48 PM by Scarpia 28 Oct 08, 9:01 PM Admin 11 yrs Scarpia wrote: "I suppose our needs were too basic for a site which feels a need to justify advertisers' expenditure by drawing in the most eclectic possible membership" That's quite an offensive thing to say really. TSR and SD! would lose money if their capital costs weren't covered from elsewhere (the ads only cover running costs, not capital), and as you can see from this thread, our policy of stressing authenticity discourages many people from posting and therefore providing eyeballs to advertisers. I could not find a web community with any worthwhile membership which better meets our needs. So, somewhat reluctantly, we're back. Admin www.seekdiscipline.com Help&About has lots of useful advice and step-by-step guides to using SD! and TSR Edited 28 Oct 08, 11:33 PM by Admin Next page