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	SD! : Web boards : The Slave Register : "Who is REAL LIFESTYLE, and who is just looking in?" 1 2 3 Who is REAL LIFESTYLE, and who is just looking in? (26) 28 Oct 08, 10:43 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths I shall bite my lip on my first response as Tanos has already said what needed saying and just add this thought. Lots of us were a bit at sea at first with the changes to TSR when it became SD! BUT many of us supported the idea of developing a wider range of boards and places for the topics which were off-topic for the M/s boards to be moved to and for discussion for those in other situations to flourish. There have always been trolls and fakes, and those who just want to talk about kinks and fetishes and so on, around on TSR. The difference is that before they were drowning the M/s topics almost by default as those were the only boards here. There are people in earlier stages of our shared journey, those in LDRs who have specific challenges to face whether they intend staying LDR or are simply awaiting a time when they can be co-resident. What's wrong with these perfectly nice people with valid relationships and issues to discuss having a place to talk to their peers here? Unless of course your agenda is to create a sort of master race <grins and apologises!> form of M/s where everything else is rejected and shut out? The broadening of the forum has actually worked to protect the integrity of the M/s boards and made Tanos's job easier in dealing with those that end up in the wrong places - as I am sure he intended all along. And that's why many of us were able to get behind these changes despite being a bit discombobulated by em at first. Good stuff I say and well done Tanos! Let's not get sniffy about advertising either please - it pays to help provide YOU and ME with this site for pete's sake... unless of course commerce is judged just too non-u and you'd rather the membership donated their hard-earned to support the running of SD! so that it was not necessary to involve trade? Hmmmm? Thought not. I bet it's hard work winning the damn banner business too so I think another pat on the back for our kind... and hardworking... host is in order rather than snarkiness. Personally I value SD! immensely highly - in case you hadn't guessed and I haven't bored you to tears yet. I hope everyone gets something out of their own little corners of it. anjuli ps. Thanks for the kind words earlier in the thread both. I never know quite what to say so I'm off to bed with a silly, slightly abashed grin, and pink cheeks now but I meant every word so thanks. ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ Edited 29 Oct 08, 12:14 PM by anjuli 29 Oct 08, 5:17 AM 201-997-618 AU, 3 mths i am in a serious 'real life' but not real time 'cohabiting' relationship i too admire this site for what it is and have a lot of respect for the contributions made by anjuli and other regular posters - i would never have learned so much so soon if my Master hadn't directed me here - and its such a buzz when i find empathy with those who are much more experienced in the lifestyle - i have so little confidence in myself its really nice to have some of my own thoughts and feelings confirmed in this way as a newbie i'm grateful to have a board specifically for LDRs (some advice is better coming from those who really understand a situation because they are in similar circumstances) and still have access to the valuable insights and advice from the 24/7's after some initial hesitancy and seeking clarification i've been made to feel comfortable about posting to other boards if the subject is relevant, even if i still have some feelings of inferiority, but that's just me i was actually made to feel unwelcome and afraid to post at all at one point by a few - not for being in an online LDR but because i serve a married Master - maybe one day there will be a separate board for that kind of relationship too <ducking for cover> but i've learned its a simple matter to read, learn and apply whats relevant to personal circumstances and ignore the rest everyone is entitled 29 Oct 08, 10:25 AM Scarpia UK, 2 yrs Admin wrote: Scarpia wrote: "I suppose our needs were too basic for a site which feels a need to justify advertisers' expenditure by drawing in the most eclectic possible membership" That's quite an offensive thing to say really. TSR and SD! would lose money if their capital costs weren't covered from elsewhere (the ads only cover running costs, not capital), and as you can see from this thread, our policy of stressing authenticity discourages many people from posting and therefore providing eyeballs to advertisers. There's not a remotely offensive word in the sentence, nor was it so intended. I understand only too well the necessity of an enterprise covering its costs. However, I'm sure I'm not the only one who found the new format less to his taste than the old, just as I'm sure that there are many who find it a marked improvement. Any such change is bound to elicit a range of reactions. You could take the fact that we went to the trouble of researching other possibilities, and found nothing that met our needs as well as SD!, as an endorsement. S 29 Oct 08, 12:28 PM anjuli UK, 18 mths On this issue of those who are in LDRs and so on feeling awkward or unsure about contributing to the M/s boards... I'd like to make a suggestion... If there's a subject up and running and moving into areas that are different from yours and yet it's relevant in some way... why not restart it on the LDR board and encourage the same discussion from the specific point of view of your own situation? I'd find that really interesting - to read both points of view and see where the two diverged or came together! And I'm sure it would make for more useful, constructive and comfortable discussion on both areas without having to worry about whether you were derailing something all unawares? I'm not saying that's the only route or even the best one all the time but it's something I've thought about from time to time and wondered why no-one does it. It's perfectly valid to use a side-shoot from a discussion to start a new thread and train of thought so why not take an initial idea and simply apply it to a different dynamic on the proper board? Anyway... I'm glad people are finding that SD! is not really divisive or in some way snootily elitist but getting to understand that it's a rare resource which we need to protect to a certain extent and which raises really quite emotional reactions in some of its adherents. We all get frustrated from time to time with dealing with yet another erk who thinks he's the first and so terribly clever and funny disrupting the boards or with the rudeness of those who don't or won't respect the forum or its membership and abuse it for their own puposes... but if you're genuine in your wish to learn and share, and you apply a modicum of courtesy and regard for others, you will probably find a place here regardless of your experience levels or current situation. anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 29 Oct 08, 7:39 PM Graham UK, 2 mths Hello All Please excuse me if I do not adopt protocols or words that others use or feel comfortable with; this is my first posting to any of the conversations on this site. I have been a member for just over the week(!) and have been reading with interest commetns made by those far more experienced than I. I have relatively good experience in working on very short one off sessions with various submissives, however, now feel the need to find 'that' right person to develop a permanent long term (life) relationship with. So as you can imagine I was really pleased to have found this site with its attendant experienced members of both persusions - all learning is good learning, it is in the development of that knowledge that the good or bad end is the outcome. It is my view that our type of relationship is not only the most intense you can perceive but also the one that offers the most wonderful avenues to develop both partners. On the flip side is possibly also the most poorly understod and open to abuse - from 'within' or without. It is with the above view in mind that directs me for the need to find the right person to develop with - I can only imagine how 'horrible' it must be to be in a relationship where either one or the other partner does not want or feel comfortable with the freedoms that we can develop between us in the power exchnages possible. I really find it 'stimulating' to read of others success in finding that joy and also deep sadness where it does not occur. Respect, love, trust, faith are all traits we need to develop in both ourself and our partners so that the world can see that we are actually happy and fulfilled in our relationships. Keep smiling. (and I'll keep learning!) 11 Nov 08, 1:28 AM mynx_of_Sir US(TX), 6 mths Y! there is a site called www.fetlife.com its just like myspace for kinky people. like any site there are 'posers' or the guys who call themselves master to fulfill their sick fantasies but it is better tha na lot of other ones i have seen. Love who you are, Never who you aren't