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	SD! : Web boards : Practical IE : "Advice needed on "being good"" 1 2 3 Advice needed on "being good" (22) Sat 6 Sep 08, 10:36 PM clarice US(MO), 4 mths i've just started on Prozac for extreme depression and anxiety, so hopefully that will help. To explain: i have been with my Master just over 11 months (our 11 month was yesterday, actually). In the beginning everything was fine, but we upped the level of Dominance and submission within our relationship. Soon after, my home life (i don't live with Him) became worse as my father is an alcoholic and is very... mean and degrading, to say the least. i'm constantly having to take on the "in charge" role at home and at school, and with my trust issues within my family and every day life, plus the stress, it's starting to wear on our relationship. i'm having to lead a double life so that my dad doesn't find out who i am to my Master. i fear that he could use it against me in some way, by either forcing more responsibility on me ("you want to do all this for Lance, so you have to do it here too") or by taking action against my Master by claiming abuse or something, or by kicking me out of my house. The double life issue is making it hard for me to switch back into my role as my Master's slave when i'm with him. My depression, anxiety, and anger at what is going on in my life comes out in bad ways and, due to my bad coping skills, i take it out on Him. (That is why i've not posted since i registered - i've been grounded by Him.) i don't want to be like this. i don't want to treat Him like this. i want to be a "good girl" in His eyes and i want praise, not punishment. But with all that is going on, i need help. How can i change myself? Please, any tips you may have would be appreciated! clarice. Posted with my Master's permission. At His feet is where i belong. It is where i feel safe and comforted, and i would have it no other way. Edited Sat 6 Sep 08, 11:03 PM by clarice 7 Sep 08, 12:02 AM 952-621-855 US(CA), 5 mths Clarice, I can not offer too much in the advice about a 'double life' but I can offer you advice with your mood disorder and the medications you are on. I do have medical training especially in medicines, OTC and prescriptions. If your Master allows it, you can memo me with any questions and I will try and help you anyway possible. I, myself think that with a discussion about medications and any other medical factor should be private. Just my opinion though and I do not mean any disrespect towards your Master or A/anyone else. Owned Property of Master Drew. Masters precious,beautiful pet. *~Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away~* 7 Sep 08, 1:00 AM 504-178-417 US(AZ), 4 mths Alcoholism is a cunning and baffling thing that affects everyone around the alcoholic. B/c you live in disfunction than it only makes sence that disfunction would ripple out into you personal life as well with your Master. i would suggest you talk with the other people living under the same roof as you and your father and compare notes on how your fathers alcoholism has affected your lives...if there is reluctance in referring to your Master as your boyfriend, i would recommend talking to your Master about how to present your conserns to the family with out giving away information about your personal life. There are programs out there..there are proffessional addictions interventionist who can help in convicing your father that he has a problem by way of doing a family intervention...if this does not feel like an option...there are others...Alonon is a wonderful support group... it is a 12 step program just like AA but for the friends and family members of alcoholics. It is free and they have meeting everywhere...if you google Alonan and the city and state you are in... you can find one near you. It is important that you understand that going to Alonon meetings are not for your father but rather for you...it is a support group for affected individuals whos lifes are becoming unmaneagable due to the alcoholic in their lives. it is a very empowering program and you will leave the meeting feeling much more connected to yourself and your own sanity. i would definitely recommend that you go together with your Master as He too will benefit from it greatly as He is obviously also affected by your fathers alcoholism. remember that your fathers issues are not yours...work on separating yourself from your fathers shit and that is exactly what Alonan helps you do. when you go to a meeting...talk to the people in the meeting as we gain strength and perspective from others' experience , strength and hope. please...let me know how it goes. respectfully, puppy Edited 7 Sep 08, 1:07 AM by 504-178-417 7 Sep 08, 1:29 AM Blush4Him US, 8 mths clarice wrote: Advice needed on "being good" i've just started on Prozac for extreme depression and anxiety, so hopefully that will help. To explain: i have been with my Master just over 11 months (our 11 month was yesterday, actually). In the beginning everything was fine, but we upped the level of Dominance and submission within our relationship. Soon after, my home life (i don't live with Him) became worse as my father is an alcoholic and is very... mean and degrading, to say the least. i'm constantly having to take on the "in charge" role at home and at school, and with my trust issues within my family and every day life, plus the stress, it's starting to wear on our relationship. i'm having to lead a double life so that my dad doesn't find out who i am to my Master. i fear that he could use it against me in some way, by either forcing more responsibility on me ("you want to do all this for Lance, so you have to do it here too") or by taking action against my Master by claiming abuse or something, or by kicking me out of my house. The double life issue is making it hard for me to switch back into my role as my Master's slave when i'm with him. My depression, anxiety, and anger at what is going on in my life comes out in bad ways and, due to my bad coping skills, i take it out on Him. (That is why i've not posted since i registered - i've been grounded by Him.) i don't want to be like this. i don't want to treat Him like this. i want to be a "good girl" in His eyes and i want praise, not punishment. But with all that is going on, i need help. How can i change myself? Please, any tips you may have would be appreciated! The advice you have received here has been really good. I completely agree with the meetings to teach you to separate yourself from your father's issues. I would also add, if you have a counselor at your high school who you can talk to about your anxiety and depression that might also be helpful. I have yet to give my consent to being slashed! 7 Sep 08, 1:48 AM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs -R- Even if this 'isn't' actually true, the profile writer is putting themselves across as underage; "I'm 16 now, and my master is 17" ...has anyone read the profile? Admin contacted; profile flagged for deletion. Daddy's phay®(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 7 Sep 08, 3:28 AM clarice US(MO), 4 mths Thank you all. DFS is involved with my family and i am recieving counselling currently. They are trying to find ways to adjust my family, and i am planning on moving in with my Master next year so i can effectively remove myself from the toxic environment i'm in and be trained properly. i have attended Alateen meetings in the past (ages 12-21 where i live... so will be attending in the future as well) but got too busy to attend and then could never get rides. i have asked Master to take me in the future and He says He will (He also comes from an alcoholic household). Also, the only other person in my household besides my dad is my nine year old brother. i've talked with my counsellor from DFS (today actually) and we spoke about perhaps having an intervention, and if we do, what family members outside of the household might be willing to help. Thank you to all that replied with their helpful information. If you have any more that could help me with learning to just... calm down and be respectful, that would be great, because that seems to be my issue, according to Master. i get very angry and violent when i'm depressed and well... that's not good at all, for anyone, especially as a slave. clarice. clarice. Posted with my Master's permission. At His feet is where i belong. It is where i feel safe and comforted, and i would have it no other way. Edited 7 Sep 08, 3:31 AM by clarice 7 Sep 08, 3:37 AM clarice US(MO), 4 mths MasterS70 wrote: -R- Even if this 'isn't' actually true, the profile writer is putting themselves across as underage; "I'm 16 now, and my master is 17" ...has anyone read the profile? Admin contacted; profile flagged for deletion. MasterS - When i registered for this site, there was no mention of an age requirement. In fact, my age has not come up as a problem until today. i admit that may be due to my being grounded and not allowed to post. However, i looked for the age requirement, and it took me a long while to locate. As i said, there was no mention of a requirement before joining. If there had been a mention of a requirement BEFORE joining, i either would have joined, or not mentioned an age (i'm not stupid. People do it all the time). Most likely, i wouldn't have joined. There are other kink-friendly sites i'm not able to access. i however, am of the opinion that teens 15 or 16 and up should be able to access kink friendly websites that aren't pornographic. That would include this one. Why? Because there are PLENTY of teens that are either in a BDSM relationship or are interested in them, and are mature. However, if i get kicked off the website, that's fine. At least i got some advice from being here, and helped a couple other people in situations similar to those i have been in since joining the Lifestyle a couple years ago. clarice. Posted with my Master's permission. At His feet is where i belong. It is where i feel safe and comforted, and i would have it no other way. 7 Sep 08, 9:05 AM 504-178-417 US(AZ), 4 mths hm...i am thinking about how i deal with being good when i want to be.... well, not so good -and that is different from being disobedient...i am referring to the not pleasant for anyone involved kind of shit that is always recognized as PMS...i become warewoman...a weird ass jackal and Hyde and so to prevent getting punished ( and not the good kind either) i immediately ask permission to kiss His feet or sometimes not being able to muster the request..i simply do it- i kneel down and in doing so...i am immediately reminded of my place and where i belong and that at His feet beneath Him is the most wonderful place to be in the world for me. A sense of calm, peace and ease flows over me... especially when He pets my head and gives me positive loving regard of approval remarks like "thats My good girl" and "what an obidient little girl you are being" and then there is the ever favorite "...good girl..." etc....it snaps me out of my shit and i am able to authentically and lovingly look up at Him and ask Him how i can serve Him. and then what ever the task is..i do it lovingly. This is preventative bitch mode stuff...when i know that i am antsy and ready to bark ( and not in a cute way either) it is essential for me to monitor my thoughts and actions so as to not have friction in the air and spoil the mood- what ever W/we are doing. Hey, i am not an angel all the time though....there are times when i am not so good at it...but it is never too late to apologize and rewire my brain, it seems, to change my shitty attitude and genuinly be pleasant. This takes practice and the more i do it the better i get at it and it always feels so much better. And Daddy is always proud of me for overcoming it. I hope this helps and more importantly..i hope this all made sense. "i love you soo much, Daddy" Edited 7 Sep 08, 9:09 AM by 504-178-417 7 Sep 08, 5:32 PM jakesemma US(WA), 15 mths Y! clarice wrote: MasterS70 wrote: -R- Even if this 'isn't' actually true, the profile writer is putting themselves across as underage; "I'm 16 now, and my master is 17" ...has anyone read the profile? Admin contacted; profile flagged for deletion. MasterS - When i registered for this site, there was no mention of an age requirement. In fact, my age has not come up as a problem until today. i admit that may be due to my being grounded and not allowed to post. However, i looked for the age requirement, and it took me a long while to locate. As i said, there was no mention of a requirement before joining. If there had been a mention of a requirement BEFORE joining, i either would have joined, or not mentioned an age (i'm not stupid. People do it all the time). Most likely, i wouldn't have joined. There are other kink-friendly sites i'm not able to access. i however, am of the opinion that teens 15 or 16 and up should be able to access kink friendly websites that aren't pornographic. That would include this one. Why? Because there are PLENTY of teens that are either in a BDSM relationship or are interested in them, and are mature. However, if i get kicked off the website, that's fine. At least i got some advice from being here, and helped a couple other people in situations similar to those i have been in since joining the Lifestyle a couple years ago. I mean no offense but i've also flagged you for deletion. I don't feel underage people have any place on this site. You can come back when you are 18. 7 Sep 08, 5:51 PM clarice US(MO), 4 mths Thank you, puppy. The quotes you gave of things your Master says to you made me smile, because it sounds just like things MY Master would say! i will be sure to take your advice. It's very good advice. ^_^ Jakesemma - It's fine that you flagged me, hun. i understand. i would, however, like to point out that i (after all of this happened and i went to try and sleep last night) went back and thought of my registration process. i remember having to put in my birthdate and being confused when it didn't show up on my profile. Even yesterday, before i posted, i tried to put in my birth year but it wouldn't show up on my profile. If and when i get kicked off of the site until i'm 18, i'm going to talk to the Administration about somehow fixing their age restriction settings durring registration. If they really don't want anyone younger than 18 on, it needs to be advertised better, and their age restriction needs to work. It's not working right now for some reason. clarice. clarice. Posted with my Master's permission. At His feet is where i belong. It is where i feel safe and comforted, and i would have it no other way. 7 Sep 08, 7:21 PM 504-178-417 US(AZ), 4 mths Your welcome Sweetheart...i hope you dont get kicked offof this community...it is such a wondeful thing to be able to communicate with like minded people on line like this...especially since you are so young...i would sign your petition, babe! Maybe they could have like a trial run for people underaged so as to be sure that they are actually benefiting from being here...aka truly in the scene... and you have, in my opinion, proven that in the context of you responses and postings. Hope this helps...there are always loop holes and exeptions can and are made everyday...its not like it is illegal for you to be on here it is simply the websites policy, right? ya might wanna do your research on that one.. goold luck. -puppy "i love you soo much, Daddy" Next page