National Coalition for Sexual Freedom    [other banners]

	SD! : Web boards : Ritual : "Marriage and M/s." 1 2 3 Marriage and M/s. (29) Mon 8 Sep 08, 4:55 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 23 mths  I would be interested to know how people here view marriage in relation to M/s. Do you see it as in any way antithetical for a slave to be married to their Owner? Or do you consider that marriage between an Owner and slave makes their bond more intense? Do you think that the dynamic between a slave married to their Owner is by its very nature different to that of non-married Owners & slaves? I suspect much of the answer to this rests on whether one believes that marriage is inherently a union of equals, but I would still be interested to hear the different thought processes people have on this issue. For the purposes of this question I am happy to hear about all unions the individuals concerned consider constitute a marriage, however that may work in legal terms etc. I look forward to hearing your responses on this, Tiara. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 8 Sep 08, 6:02 PM anjuli UK, 16 mths  Mistress_Tiara wrote: Marriage and M/s. I would be interested to know how people here view marriage in relation to M/s. Do you see it as in any way antithetical for a slave to be married to their Owner? Or do you consider that marriage between an Owner and slave makes their bond more intense? Do you think that the dynamic between a slave married to their Owner is by its very nature different to that of non-married Owners & slaves? I suspect much of the answer to this rests on whether one believes that marriage is inherently a union of equals, but I would still be interested to hear the different thought processes people have on this issue. For the purposes of this question I am happy to hear about all unions the individuals concerned consider constitute a marriage, however that may work in legal terms etc. I look forward to hearing your responses on this, Tiara. Hmmm... interesting. I am not sure that it's that different. I cannot imagine that if and when J and I do the deed and make it legal that the nature of our dynamic will change. But... now you have me wondering about the way people see marriage too and whether that affects me. Is it a union between equals, do I see it still holding connotations of old-fashioned passing of daughters to other men's control and ownership... all that sort of thing. I can see J and I finding a way of having somewhat old-fashioned vows incorporated to suit us. I'd love to promise to 'love, honour and obey'! But then again we'd not have any sort of religious ceremony as J is an atheist so perhaps that won't quite work. In essence, for me, I don't think it would make a great deal of difference. The two things, M/s and marriage, are rather separate. Perhaps I'd see 'belonging' to him in every way possible as good and supportive of our dynamic and a way to make our togetherness public plus it makes sense when making practical plans for the future but that's all really. I know he'd find ways to make it special and wonderful but essentially it's not vital to us in any way other than the legal and financial. Hmmmm... I'm going to be interested to see others' views on this one as mine are a bit inconclusive. anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 8 Sep 08, 6:03 PM MasterAlan79 AU, 3 mths  too many big words, too deep lol. when i find a salve i hope to get married and have kids, i see marriage as the ultimate union between 2 people and that you both want to be with each other for the rest of your lives. i really dont think M/s or vanilla relationships matter when it comes to marriage, i think its more you just want to know you will always have someone. as you say marriage is the equal union of 2 people, but then so is any M/s relationship, no master can be complete with out a slave, and vice versa. i mean when you think about it, how many vanilla marriages are really equal, most have usually 1 person who is more dominate then the other, just maybe not as in M/s relations. prolly makes not sense, but thats me anyway. so how about you, whats your opinion.?. 8 Sep 08, 7:04 PM EilisMoonfire US(WA), 7 mths  In my relationship, we started out as a vanilla marriage w/ a little kink that organically got more and more kink and, here we are. Also, because of the way our situation is I have to be a wife first, his friend second, and his slave third. Usually I can be all 3 at the same time and it works just fine, but recently he did something that cast a dark shadow over our relationship and I had to step up and be his wife and make a couple ultimatums to save our marriage. There were no arguments over them because he knew he screwed up big time and these were things that needed to be done. God, long distance relationships are hard. I don't know how anyone can do it. My hat goes off to those who can. eilis One day soon Master will come home and this slave will be whole again. 8 Sep 08, 11:26 PM MasterFred US(FL), 3 mths  Mistress_Tiara wrote: Marriage and M/s. I would be interested to know how people here view marriage in relation to M/s. Do you see it as in any way antithetical for a slave to be married to their Owner? Or do you consider that marriage between an Owner and slave makes their bond more intense? Do you think that the dynamic between a slave married to their Owner is by its very nature different to that of non-married Owners & slaves? I suspect much of the answer to this rests on whether one believes that marriage is inherently a union of equals, but I would still be interested to hear the different thought processes people have on this issue. For the purposes of this question I am happy to hear about all unions the individuals concerned consider constitute a marriage, however that may work in legal terms etc. I look forward to hearing your responses on this, Tiara. Tiara, This is something I have given a great deal of thought to, for the main reason that my present potential is half my age. If we do indeed consumate this M/s 24/7 relationship, I will want to in time marry her so if she does outlive me, she will be cared for, not left with nothing to keep her going. I have discussed this exact thing with her and she appreciated my forthought. As far as it changing the dynamic of the M/s lifestyle, I don't see that happening, she is a natural slave, was with former Owners for 12 years and is more than ready to serve another Master. The marriage licence just protects her in the future. Master Fred Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question. 9 Sep 08, 12:44 AM 000-671-955 CA, 4 yrs  Mistress_Tiara wrote: Marriage and M/s. I would be interested to know how people here view marriage in relation to M/s. Do you see it as in any way antithetical for a slave to be married to their Owner? Or do you consider that marriage between an Owner and slave makes their bond more intense? Do you think that the dynamic between a slave married to their Owner is by its very nature different to that of non-married Owners & slaves? I suspect much of the answer to this rests on whether one believes that marriage is inherently a union of equals, but I would still be interested to hear the different thought processes people have on this issue. For the purposes of this question I am happy to hear about all unions the individuals concerned consider constitute a marriage, however that may work in legal terms etc. I look forward to hearing your responses on this, Tiara. Master saw this and asked me what my thoughts were, as we have been married for a considerable length of time, and have been in M/s relationship for a number of years also. Firstly, i told him that when we are together i am his wife who happens to be a slave, wrapped up all in one if that is possible. There are times when one or the other are stronger depending on the circumstances at the time, but in each case my being his slave will be present in each of the decisions He makes. He is the Dominant factor in all of the paths we have been on, and i think it was His strong and confident attitude that attracted me to him intially. i also believe that the trust factor between us is much stronger as having Him there on a regular basis, strengthens my relsove to please Him in each and every task He sets before me, along with the commitment to the Lifestyle that He has set our Life Path on. i also know that He trusts my judgement in our daily lives, as there are times when decisions have to made without His presence,now if that constitutes being equal, i am not sure, or is that a task He expects from me to be made with His way of thinking instilled through training. i believe whether you are married or seeing your Master on a regular basis, this level of trust is possible, but being married makes it easier i find. Hope this sheds some light on the question. Master's "o" 671955 9 Sep 08, 4:26 AM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs  anjuli wrote: Mistress_Tiara wrote: Marriage and M/s. I would be interested to know how people here view marriage in relation to M/s. Do you see it as in any way antithetical for a slave to be married to their Owner? Or do you consider that marriage between an Owner and slave makes their bond more intense? Do you think that the dynamic between a slave married to their Owner is by its very nature different to that of non-married Owners & slaves? I suspect much of the answer to this rests on whether one believes that marriage is inherently a union of equals, but I would still be interested to hear the different thought processes people have on this issue. For the purposes of this question I am happy to hear about all unions the individuals concerned consider constitute a marriage, however that may work in legal terms etc. I look forward to hearing your responses on this, Tiara. Hmmm... interesting. I am not sure that it's that different. I cannot imagine that if and when J and I do the deed and make it legal that the nature of our dynamic will change. But... now you have me wondering about the way people see marriage too and whether that affects me. Is it a union between equals, do I see it still holding connotations of old-fashioned passing of daughters to other men's control and ownership... all that sort of thing. I can see J and I finding a way of having somewhat old-fashioned vows incorporated to suit us. I'd love to promise to 'love, honour and obey'! But then again we'd not have any sort of religious ceremony as J is an atheist so perhaps that won't quite work. In essence, for me, I don't think it would make a great deal of difference. The two things, M/s and marriage, are rather separate. Perhaps I'd see 'belonging' to him in every way possible as good and supportive of our dynamic and a way to make our togetherness public plus it makes sense when making practical plans for the future but that's all really. I know he'd find ways to make it special and wonderful but essentially it's not vital to us in any way other than the legal and financial. Hmmmm... I'm going to be interested to see others' views on this one as mine are a bit inconclusive. anjuli just a specific comment to this - the "Love, honor and obey" was not limited to religous ceremonies in the old traditions - a judge or a captain at sea also used those vows in their hay-day. It is not a religion vs. atheist thing here. again, only thoughts that may be of value perhaps? j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin 9 Sep 08, 6:26 AM JSubathrt US(CA), 4 mths  Mistress_Tiara wrote: Marriage and M/s. I would be interested to know how people here view marriage in relation to M/s. Do you see it as in any way antithetical for a slave to be married to their Owner? Or do you consider that marriage between an Owner and slave makes their bond more intense? Do you think that the dynamic between a slave married to their Owner is by its very nature different to that of non-married Owners & slaves? I suspect much of the answer to this rests on whether one believes that marriage is inherently a union of equals, but I would still be interested to hear the different thought processes people have on this issue. For the purposes of this question I am happy to hear about all unions the individuals concerned consider constitute a marriage, however that may work in legal terms etc. I look forward to hearing your responses on this, Tiara. Dave and I met in an on-line BDSM chat room through AOL for Southern California Dom(me)s and submissives. There was no mention of slaves at that time. We have recently reclassified our relationship before coming to this website as M/s certainly fits our relationship much better than D/s. In hind-sight...M/s better defined what we both wanted and needed even in the negotiations before we met face to face. Perhaps it was because we were both wise enough to undertake those extensive negotiations. Perhaps it was the fact that we both knew exactly what it was we wanted in a relationship. Regardless, our relationship has only grown deeper and more fulfilling as time has gone by for over 11 years now. We had our 11 year collaring anniversary in April and we will celebrate 10 years of marriage in December of this year. We got married one Thursday afternoon by a Justice of the Peace and told no one until that evening and the next weekend. Boy did we have a party about 2 weeks later . My mother said "you have been together for quite some time...why did you decide to get married now?" My comment...because unmarried we will get about $3K back in taxes, married we will get nearly $10K back in taxes. She wasn't real happy with that comment, but it was the only reason we got married when we did. Dave had purchased our home that year and the net gain to his retirement account was significant! Marriage has not affected our relationship in the least. In fact our marriage was a blessing when Dave had a stroke almost three years ago as I could be with him in the ER and come and go as I needed to when he stayed in the hospital. When the discharge planner told me that Dave would be discharged to a "skilled nursing facility" I could, without reservation, look her straight in the eye and tell her that he would be coming home with me and that I would attend to his needs as he recovered. I knew that I could do a better job of it than anyone else. After all...I was the one who attended to his needs while he was in the hospital. I would give him his bath in the evening and sit and tell him how life would still be wonderful regardless of the stroke. I continued to assure him during a very long recovery that he was still my Master and that I would adore him for the rest of my life. Everything in our lives still revolves around Dave and his wants and needs being met by me, thereby meeting my wants and needs at the same time. Dave wouldn't have it any other way and neither would I. We laugh together, cry together, love together and enjoy our special relationship as we both know and understand exactly where the other stands and what the other needs/wants. He knows that I need my every action controlled and monitored. Conversely, I know that I simply do as I'm told and life will be grand and I will be able to sit down tomorrow. My son and his boys come on a routine basis since the death of their wife/mother in February of this year and all they know is that Papa and Grandma always seem to love each other more and more each day. I haven't told my son in as many words, but I'm sure he is aware of the kind of relationship we have as he's a pretty smart guy. His Mom raised him, primarily alone to be a strong yet gentle man. My sister is aware of the fact that I was purchased for the price of an airline ticket from San Diego to Miami and that I consider myself Dave's chattel. Yet what she consistently comments on is how effortless our relationship seems to those we are around. Of course it's effortless...we both know our place and we both march to that drum beat. He is the Master...I am the slave....We are complete! A piece of paper making us "legal" to the State of California and the federal government didn't change who or what we are or want. Thank you for the wonderful topic! Judy 9 Sep 08, 1:40 PM pirate528x US, 3 yrs  I can't imagine wanting to ruin something as beautiful as a Master/slave relationship with a marriage.I've heard it said that"the easiest way to lose your best friend is to marry her". Master Tony 9 Sep 08, 7:20 PM 000-874-172 UK, 5 yrs  Not wishing to be tiresome, MT, I can't answer this question right now, but I will soon Lovingly Owned by ~Miss Phay~ Edited 11 Sep 08, 1:32 PM by 000-874-172 9 Sep 08, 9:48 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs  Marriage is a legally convenient adjunct to his ownership of me. We met and were married before he began to own me, but he's told me that if we weren't already married he'd still arrange for it. Krista The thing you have to remember about girls is that the hyperfluid bearings under the camshafts can be miscalibrated along either axis, so regular maintanence is required to keep resonance in the titanium casing from causing abrasions against the primary sprocket joists. Next page