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	SD! : Web boards : Practical IE : "when is the time right?" when is the time right? (4) Fri 12 Sep 08, 8:37 PM 436-714-868 US(IL), 7 mths  when is the time right for one with the wish to become owned to begin the search for a permanent master? one may have reservations, but how would one know the difference between internal fears that can be trusted to a master's care, and practical fears that may make a relationship impossible? Edited Fri 12 Sep 08, 8:38 PM by 436-714-868 12 Sep 08, 9:36 PM Eclectic1 US(ID), 12 mths  The right time will come when you are emotionally ready. You will have to get to know yourself and your true inner spirit to know when that will be. Don't place a value on the time to start. In stead concentrate on your needs and worries. I don't use the word fear here since fear stems from the unknown. Knowledge is the best counter to fear. While working on the things you think you need to, keep your mind, eyes, and ears open and mouth shut. If someone promising appears you will know. Then you proceed with caution and pay attention to your gut instincts, they will not let you down. I won't say good luck here since you should not even let that enter your mind, in stead just have a safe and happy journey. 18 Sep 08, 2:37 PM Fenrisulfr SE, 9 mths  Learn to know several people very well, ask questions, learn about yourself and about others (which also help to learn about yourself, as it gives a perspective and a contrast to you). You will find that some things that you feared will be far from a problem. While other things that you considered simple might become a major problem a few years down the road. Then among all those people, or among people they know, you might find a good potential permanent owner. Caveat; I have not yet owned anyone. While I have spent time reading and talking to people in the lifestyle, and do extrapolate from knowledge I have in related fields, it is still the thoughts and opinions from someone without personal experience. It is up to you how you wish to value what I say. 19 Sep 08, 2:38 PM Kurtis US(AL), 4 mths  436-714-868 wrote: when is the time right? when is the time right for one with the wish to become owned to begin the search for a permanent master? one may have reservations, but how would one know the difference between internal fears that can be trusted to a master's care, and practical fears that may make a relationship impossible? the difference between the two would seem simply that ones reservations and doubts of a personal nature are something that has evolved in you long before any potential Master has been considered. Some of those doubts and concerns are that you dont feel ready, that you dont feel strong enough, that you arent good enough or perhaps to emotional. Those doubts are not shared by absolutley everyone but most will have them to some degree. I think they are completley normal. I have known some that even have a panic attack at the sight of thier Masters and its ok. Patience and understanding on the part of you and your Master will overcome any such doubts and concerns. As far as the practical goes, those will likely be the doubts and concerns that arise as you get to know someone. For example if you met someone who is far away from you, the distance may account for some doubts. Also the way a person acts and the way they treat you. If someone treats you or acts in a manner that you dont want and that wont meet your needs, then you know that they are simply not the one you are seeking. There are some that I have spoken to on here who dont want to talk to someone or meet someone and understandably so. Some uneducated idiots will proposition them through sexual advances and general creep like behavior instantly. I feel sorry that they have to put up with such behavior in the weeding process but I would encourage you not to follow the same root and assume everyone has less than honorable intent just because they say hello to you. You can learn so much talking to people. I advise that you make it simply your goal to learn grow and expand your knowledge through personal contact with the members of this forum. The right one will come and the timing of such will be of less concern i promise. Also I would like to add that so far no questions I have asked of anyone has been to taboo or so offensive that they will not answer. it has been the general consesus of everyone I have met here to help you, talk, and make a friend. Edited 19 Sep 08, 2:40 PM by Kurtis 19 Sep 08, 10:40 PM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs  when does the time come? Well it's sort of like when the student is ready the Teacher will appear - oft quoted in spirituality. But if a slave is smart, in comes S L O W L Y and after getting to know the Owner real well, and in face to fake i mean - i used to be a person who either jumped in and trusted S/someone completely and in all areas of life. i had a bad picker and it was almost always bad choices. i would then not trust A/anyone and that was usually the F/folks i should have picked. Y/you see due to my background abusive and predatory folks seemed to be the O/ones i'd trust and fall in love with - but i learned this was often because they felt familiar and comfortable, not because i actually was in love or in lust with them. For me this was when i was vanilla - my 3 ex-sig-others. i read about this in a daily contemplation in a Hazelden book for Incest Survivors called Daybreak, i believe. i can't remember the author's name, but she pointed out that in more N/normal people trust is earned - built up from little things to bigger things. i've had a hard time learning this, but it's getting better. the not trusting F/folks that i could have made my coming into M/s 24/7 with my late Master and Husband take lots longer than it could have and kept me from enjoying the benefits of M/s sooner. However, me being me, it was probably better than if i'd found it on my own and jumped into it with some online person i barely know - which is my nature - and getting badly burnt. slow and steady wins the race- and not just for the tortoise in the tale tortoise and the hare (Aesop's fables i believe) but it took me a long time to even start to learn that and most only learn the hard way. Yet i'll keep saying it anyways if it can save one fellow slave/sub whatever from getting their heart broken. j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! alias Granny Matrika - ye OLDE crone - back out of the broom closet again, BLESSED BE~!