The Ownership Flag and Icons    [other banners]

	SD! : Web boards : Submission : "Role Reversal " Role Reversal (9) Sat 13 Sep 08, 4:27 PM Kitten341636 UK, 8 yrs  I am a submissive by heart but recently i have been having desires about a man who says that he is also a submissive but open minded as i don't have much experience from a D point of you i was hoping that someone might be able to advise me on this matter as i to want to remain open minded about this... but although i think i would find role reversal easy on a play / foreplay basis i don't i would be able to cope unless if i was expected to be dominant all the time. ( i need to belong and to be held) so the reason for writing and asking is it normal and is there any chance of it working for me as a sub to play the role of a D to enhance the pleasure side if nothing else or would this all just end in tears. please help You Cannot help but smile in the company of kittens 13 Sep 08, 4:46 PM jjsslave US, 12 mths  A while back before i came to be with my Master now, i had a relationship in which we switched. i was surprised to discover i really enjoyed it. It can work, and did work for us even though i had always been only submissive. it didnt end up being a long term thing but i learned alot about myself and it helped me grow as a person. 13 Sep 08, 4:55 PM Damsel US, 3 mths  I'm glad someone else posted on this I was afraid to ask about it. I have role-played before as a Dom and found it fun and enjoyable myself. I had a friend I used to do it with all the time. I don't do it as much anymore but it can't really do any harm I think. 13 Sep 08, 5:10 PM jjsslave US, 12 mths  I found that by switching roles i was able to really know wha tthe preassures of it can be. its not easy all the time but it was fun, and sorry i say was because even tough it was a wonderful learning experience i dont see myself ever going back there as my Master now and forever has no intention of switching and thats fine with me. 13 Sep 08, 11:43 PM Kitten341636 UK, 8 yrs  thanks everyone for the replies much appreciated i don't think it will change me, in fact the other way i could look at it is by pretending to be the dominant one for a while i am obeying therefore still being submissive in truth k. You Cannot help but smile in the company of kittens 14 Sep 08, 5:19 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 22 mths  Hi Kitten, I think this may work as an occasional mutual play exchange ie, 'I'll top you, then you can top me'. If you are both fundamentally submissive though I do not see that this could work as anything more I'm afraid. you wouldn't really be 'obeying' & therefore still submissive by topping him as you would both be on an even footing in terms of power etc. I'm not saying don't give this a go & enjoy yourself. I just don't think you should try to force it into something it doesn't lend itself to as you are likely to be disappointed or hurt if you do. Have fun *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 14 Sep 08, 10:53 PM 141-116-261 US(CA), 2 yrs  Kitten341636 wrote: thanks everyone for the replies much appreciated i don't think it will change me, in fact the other way i could look at it is by pretending to be the dominant one for a while i am obeying therefore still being submissive in truth k. Exactly right on. i know many subbies that perform as switches as service Dommes. The trick is that even when being "Domme" they are always more interested in the subs desires and enjoyment. So even while being Domme they are really being submissive. The thing that really makes it work is that as a submissive they can put themselves in the subs place, sort of experience the scene vicariously and really tap into what it takes to make the scene take that next step deeper in subspace. i can do it for very short times but i am just not wired to be Domme and the effort is very difficult for me. i guess i just live to serve. dani 17 Sep 08, 1:23 AM Damsel US, 3 mths  I found it was pretty easy to do either but I've only done online roleplay as a Dom I think I'd be too nervous to do it in real life Edited 17 Sep 08, 1:26 AM by Damsel 21 Sep 08, 10:11 PM Miss_Becky 3 mths  Damsel: you shouldn't have any fears about doing what you enjoy in real life. If you are with the right partner, a person with whom you feel completely at ease and have instilled a great deal of trust and confidence (and obviously after a conversation regarding what you would both like, etc.) then take the big step and just do it! I had never before been a Dominant (I have a dominant personality, but that is something much different than being in a Dom/ sub relationship, in my opinion) neither in real life or online, but I had spoken about it with my husband on many occasions (it was actually something he brought up). The first few times I guess you could say that I felt awkward, like I was moving around in the dark... and my partner laughed a few times, but I laughed with him... the trick is to not take yourself too seriously until you're comfortable... try it in a real role-playing environment, and tell yourself "this is just play", instead of setting your head and your heart on course to becoming a Dom. The more comfortable you are, the more confident you will become! As to the post about role-reversal... I tried it once with my husband. He is always the submissive... we both get much more enjoyment from that, but it was his idea to control me... he knows my worst "fear" is being restrained, and he tied me down, thus taking away any control I could have had (he even took away my ability to speak, by gagging me) and I have to say, it was the most horrific, terrifying experience I have ever had. However, that aside, if you set down clearly defined "rules", you should have no problems... although, someone else has commented that if you both are truly submissives, long term it may not work... and that is something you should be prepared to deal with at some stage (whatever you do, don't set yourself up for disappointment or heartache). But, in the end, do what you most enjoy and don't worry if it seems unorthodox. The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination. 25 Sep 08, 10:28 PM Kitten341636 UK, 8 yrs  Thank you miss becky .. i am hoping that people are wrong able the whole role reversal thing as we have devised a plan so that we can both be tied and the amount of time is decided in a fair way by playing various different games ... this way its fun as well as fair I appreciate that this is not an ideal situation for me but if we are both open minded then we can both meet our needs You Cannot help but smile in the company of kittens