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	SD! : Web boards : Submission : "How did you make your decision to become a slave?" 1 2 3 4 5 How did you make your decision to become a slave? (40) Thu 25 Sep 08, 5:01 AM sister76 US, 19 mths  I am curious as to how people here have made the decision to become a slave - was it an automatic choice, was there a transition from classifying yourself as a submissive to a slave, or something else? Did your decision to be a slave depend on the Dominant you were in a relationship with or was that irrelevant? If it did involve your Dominant, did it depend on discussions or negotiations between the two of you? I am currently a collared submissive, but have always felt a strong pull to the slave idea. My Dominant and I have been together for about 6 months and we are both interested in exploring a Master/slave relationship and finding out whether or not it would be right for us. 25 Sep 08, 8:19 AM morgan US(WA), 16 mths  i dont feel it was really much of a choice for me.it's just somethign i realised one day. 25 Sep 08, 12:10 PM anjuli UK, 16 mths  Hmmm... I understand why morgan says what she does but I disagree somewhere along the line. Yes, there is a pull for some of us s-types... a desire to go further, be pushed further, taken further... to give more. BUT becoming a slave for me is being taken as owned. It's a state of being rather than a matter of feeling or state of mind. Some 'submissives' will feel every bit as submissive and deeply devoted as any given slave does. The difference is in whether they are owned and choose to give up all rights and control to another who wishes to own them. I will link to the wiki definition that we use here for those who are newer to the boards but these are the agreed terminology for the forum and we have them to circumvent misunderstandings that arise because everyone's relationship and therefore personal interpretation is bound to be slightly different. It's not a judgement, it's a tool to aid discussion! This article is part of the SD! Wiki hosted by Seek Discipline! Slave: A person who is owned: that is, someone in a relationship with an owner who has ultimate authority over them, and from which the slave cannot remove themselves. One of the key differences between the usage of the word "slave" in the Ownership Subculture and the BDSM Play Scene is the concept of slaves being literal slaves: this is just the everyday definition of "slave" and it doesn't include the roleplay slaves you sometimes meet elsewhere in BDSM. For example, the second edition of the Oxford English Dictionary gives: "One who is the property of, and entirely subject to another person, whether by capture, purchase or birth; a servant completely divested of freedom and personal rights." Contrast this definition with ongoing voluntary submission. For me, I was convinced that what I wanted was a 24/7 D/s relationship, TPE... the full thing as far as I was concerned. <grins> It was only the development of the bond between me and my then Dom, J, and HIS decision that it was all or nothing that he wanted... an M/s relationship with all it entailed... that even brought the issue to the table for me and he took it slowly and we talked it to death and back before doing anything about it. For me and for us, it takes consent and foreknowledge to enter into an M/s relationship and take on the mantle of a slave. And that doesn't make it somehow less to me, or devoid of emotion or feeling, a purely intellectual exercise somehow... it makes it more deep and serious. It's a position of honour, just as that of being a Master is and taking another's life to own. Some of us are destined for that place, and long for it of course, but I believe passionately that we only get there thro a conscious act of will when asked by our future Masters to cede all our lives, our selves and our futures, into their hands. If it were not that way, it would have no more value than the loyalty of a dog - unquestioning and uncomprehending of its own worth - and I know that would not do for either of us. I cannot affect my nature, being a submissive woman is the same for me as being gay or straight, courageous or cowardly, introvert or extrovert...something you are born with. But I have to choose to live as one, and then go one step further again to give every last vestige of myself to J. Sometimes people think I am arguing against the born-slave, the slave-heart - and, at a superficial level, I am. But what I really, truly, believe is that this is something far deeper, less fluffy and flowery certainly, but to me more beautiful than 'I can't help myself, it's just the way I am'. It is about acknowledging deep and essential desires within yourself and having the courage to make them live in the full knowledge of the costs and possible risks. And the reason that doesn't sit with the 'born-slave' and 'slave-heart' ideal is that, every word I said in the paragraph above could be applied to 'submissive' or 'gay' equally as well! Living as you are is what is important - the rest is just window-dressing. anjuli ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 25 Sep 08, 5:10 PM jjsslave US, 12 mths  As for me i started out a sub, then that changed with time as i learned more about myself and what i truly wanted/needed. However i feel its of much importance to tell you that if i was with anyone else i dont think i would truly feel this way. It wasnt easy to just give up all control and dont feel with anyone else i would be able to be a true slave. i'm not perfect and Master knows this and ive grown so much in the relationship that to be anything else i think i would be not only short changing myself but also Him. completely devoted to Master 25 Sep 08, 6:02 PM subbyjenny US(PA), 3 mths£ i agree with anjuli about submissiveness being there inherently. In every single relationship i have been a submissive person. It was only when i found out about the lifestyle that i could feel ok about it and not damaged or wrong. Because i was not with particularly Dominate people before, the relationships always crumbled and made me feel weak or wrong. Now i have chosen, to what i think of as being one step further, by being my Master's slave. What that means to me is that W/we have chosen for Him to own me, my decisions, my heart, my will (for the most part). 25 Sep 08, 6:58 PM Flowerbelle UK, 12 mths  i didn't make the decision at all *smiles* i never wanted to be a slave. i was always a Domme, then one day i was forced to my knees, broken and made to take His collar. 25 Sep 08, 7:36 PM 902-660-194 US(PA), 3 yrs  Flowerbelle wrote: i didn't make the decision at all *smiles* i never wanted to be a slave. i was always a Domme, then one day i was forced to my knees, broken and made to take His collar. that sounds beautiful... as for me.. it just seemed right to take that step, it brought even more security to our marriage. the fact that He loves me enough to take on the responsibility of controlling me, my life. it's just my natural place with Him the sting of His whip~ the welts from His crop~ the warmth of His kiss~ the click of the lock~ assures me i am His most cherished possession.. ~touching my soul in all the wrong places~ 25 Sep 08, 8:24 PM Just_Angel US(CO), 2 yrs£ I classified myself as a submissive for quite sometime, actually not wanting to classify myself as a slave. Its not something I thought I wanted and kind of pushed the need back. The more exploration I did, the deeper into things I got and it just kind of happened. I did have some help though, lol. There were a few people in my life that kept asking me questions and opening up that part of my brain. I'm unowned for about a year now after a long term M/s relationship and I'm glad that this time around I know what I'm looking for. Angel "What would YOU do for a klondike bar?" 25 Sep 08, 8:39 PM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs  For me it was kind of like more admitting to what i'd always been, but had been hiding it from myself and the world - or so i thought. But my fantasy life was rich in slave like dreams from puberty on - i just thought i was a freak and didn't tell anyone. it took me 47 plus years to admit it to myself and to my Husband, who was delighted to collar me. Before that i let my fear and shame keep me from this. But i suppose that's better than jumping overboard into it as so many seem to do nowadays - which i just don't get j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin 26 Sep 08, 4:04 AM 555-907-356 US(FL), 3 mths  I have always been drawn to this lifestyle, even before I ever knew it was a lifestyle. I always felt that I should be submissive to the one that I love, and I have always felt the need to please those around me, even as a child. I started out felling that I was submissive. With Sir I have discovered that I can do more and go farther and I crave more than I ever thought. For Sir I know I can become what he wants and I crave that. I am still learning and I know I have a ways to go but with Sir i know that I can. SO while my interest in this lifestyle started a while ago it is Sir who truly showed me what I can become and what I want and need. Sir's sunshine *~*~*Sir's sunshine*~*~* There is freedom in chains. 26 Sep 08, 4:28 AM little_linnet US, 3 yrs  I realized that slavery as opposed to a more general type of D/s was what I needed when I read Jon Jacobs' "Submissive Women Speak" website and realized that I felt a huge hole in me for exactly the kind of relationship he described, and could not possibly live a happy and fulfilled life without it. The decision to actually become a slave was not one I made. It was made for me when Mr Linnet decided it was time to begin owning me. Krista The thing you have to remember about girls is that the hyperfluid bearings under the camshafts can be miscalibrated along either axis, so regular maintanence is required to keep resonance in the titanium casing from causing abrasions against the primary sprocket joists. Next page