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	SD! : Web boards : Online & LDR BDSM : "trying to be a slave..." 1 2 trying to be a slave... (12) Moved from Submission Thu 25 Sep 08, 6:25 PM sweetslave 2 mths  this year i discovered my thrill for being a slave, and have been a slave online ~ but not yet in real life, because my online Master didn't want me to be with anyone but Him. last week i found out He was lieing about His identity. He is not in iraq or in the military and wouldnt tell me who He really was. in my confusion and pain another man stepped forward and made me His - which i was not at all expecting. He says He's wanted me since i knew Him but i was always taken. my new online Master says He wants my mind before my body (and i'm not sure what this means) but what is bothering me is He does not want me to be a slave! only submissive and play a slave sometimes. this makes me so sad! i want to be a slave! i love it so much! and He knows this and still wishes me not to be... so as a slave i must obey.... right? W/we talk on the phone and He's very sweet. He will come to see me this year, when i am more "fit" actually this is a perfect example! He says how i "better go exersize" (i'm already skinny) but he doesnt command it in that horrible deadly tone that i love in a Master. today i went riding my bike and He rewarded me. see? He already acts like a Master in many ways but not enough to make me feel like a slave. i dont know what to do, or if i'm not allowed to do anything and just need to accept it...? He wont even let me call Him Master Edited Thu 25 Sep 08, 6:32 PM by sweetslave 25 Sep 08, 7:00 PM property_of_MacCain US(PA), 9 mths  Are you saying you wish to be a slave in real life? If so i feel your going about it all wrong. Maybe you should try looking for real, live people not some online persona. As for calling yourself a slave or him a "master"...Hun, it doesn't work that way. Not in real life anyway. It would be accepted by both parties prior to anyone being owned. If he won't let you call him "master" it is because he is not your "master". Ownership is a huge responsibility not to be taken so flippantly. Just to give you some perspective... i met MacCain in 1992 and was not collared until last winter. If you became "available" last week... you might be expecting a bit much to be owned this week. Do you see how you might be rushing things a tad? To have a real, working, lasting M/s dynamic, you need to know your partner. But i digress... p I breathe because He allows me to, indulging Him indulges me. 25 Sep 08, 7:06 PM anjuli UK, 16 mths  sweetslave wrote: ... so as a slave i must obey.... right? Wrong! No honey, following orders delivered in a lovely deadly voice doesn't have the faintest relation to M/s. Please read and learn first before you jump into another relationship with someone who is no more a master or dominant than he is mickey mouse. I'm sorry you were deceived but I am not convinced you have any idea of what slavery is as we live it and discuss it here. There are lots of people who will help if you will show willing to put your mind to learning and demonstrate that you really want the life as opposed to a bit of game playing. If you do seriously want to think about the life of a slave and finding a master, the first lesson to learn is that if you keep doing the same things (jumping into online ownership) you will keep getting the same results (let down and lied to). It's not different til you change it sweetie so think. Make this guy wait, turn him down... learn more before you try again. Oh dear, I'm trying to answer when I don't even know where to start there are so many things wrong. I don't want to be mean and eat her alive... help someone? anjuli Oh and -R- to get it moved to Online and LDR altho I'm not sure that it will fit there either. Sorry. ~~~ “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin ~~~ 25 Sep 08, 7:37 PM sweetslave 2 mths  i am sorry. i have done much reading and didn't know I was far off. i will read more. 25 Sep 08, 7:45 PM Mistress_Tiara UK, 23 mths  Hi sweetslave, This board is a useful start if you are interested in exploring whether or not you are suited to eventually having a life of full slavery. Most men you 'meet' online will simply want a girl to play sex games with either in person or online. There is nothing wrong with this if both parties want the same thing, but it's definately not M/s or anything even resembling it. If you are really interested then maybe reading here for a while will help you think things through, and lead to you A) deciding what you want and B) finding it. Putting this kind of study in is a good start whatever you do - if you eventually do become a slave you will have a little more idea, and if not you will be clearer about how to procede in future, Be careful and good luck *~*Mistress Tiara*~* Edited 25 Sep 08, 7:48 PM by Mistress_Tiara 25 Sep 08, 8:43 PM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs  But, to my way of thinking, if one is in one's heart a slave-type of person, with that mentality, pleasing one's Dom would be more important than the labels used. i could be wrong, but that's the way i see it - believe me i know surrender of a fantasy is hard i had this fantasy of how to please my late Master/Husband and at first that as well as some of the reading He had asked me to do, gave me a councept of how i thought He should be served, rather than actually serving Him as He wished. just some thoughts. j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin 26 Sep 08, 3:01 PM sweetslave 2 mths  first of all thank you p ~ you words did give me perspective and your relationship is one of those i admire most so your words carry extra weight with me. thank you. to 662-935-655 ~ yes i do have the heart of a submissive/slave, without a doubt. which is why i am here. i dont think i'll have any difficulty because i adapt very well. i don't know why lol to all ~ ok.. i am very ignorant and quite embarrassed it showed thru so clearly haha! but please, what would all of you recommend i read? i'm sure you can tell that i will. i am very determined to learn of this. thank you and blessings! *smiles* 26 Sep 08, 4:08 PM property_of_MacCain US(PA), 9 mths  *blushing* i'm most flattered...to even be in the same league as the others who have posted here. sweetslave wrote: but please, what would all of you recommend i read? i'm sure you can tell that i will. i am very determined to learn of this. If you haven't already checked it out: http://www.enslavement.org.uk/ There is a lot of info there, but be sure to read the essays. In particular,http://www.enslavement.org.uk/finding There is plenty there that you will find useful. Feel free to memo me if you have any questions. Don't be embarrassed because of inexperiance...W/we were all new once. This board was created to share ideas. There are plenty of people here who have been "there". Take care p I breathe because He allows me to, indulging Him indulges me. 27 Sep 08, 1:04 PM 581-347-553 UK, 2 mths  Generally, a lot of ppl online have a tendency to tell the odd tall tale... Your best bet is being patient and you will find a genuine similiar person to yourself. But don't be fixated on the master thing, any relationship vanilla or alternative needs a strong basis beyond sex and bdsm... and such things do take time. 27 Sep 08, 5:52 PM little_linnet US, 3 yrs  581-347-553 wrote: But don't be fixated on the master thing On the contrary. If the master thing is what you need, be completely and totally fixated on it and don't settle for less. And no, being submissive doesn't mean you have a duty to settle for or obey the wishes of the partner you happen to be with right now. It's your choice: if you value being with him more than being enslaved, then you do your best to adapt to what he prefers and submit on his terms. If being enslaved (or rather not being enslaved) is a dealbreaker for you, then you find someone whose needs correspond to yours. Krista The thing you have to remember about girls is that the hyperfluid bearings under the camshafts can be miscalibrated along either axis, so regular maintanence is required to keep resonance in the titanium casing from causing abrasions against the primary sprocket joists. 27 Sep 08, 7:51 PM 434-522-908 CA, 3 mths  SlaveCraft Guy Baldwin written by a slave... read it more than once... Next page