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	SD! : Web boards : Discipline : "Domineering or Dominating" 1 2 Domineering or Dominating (17) Fri 26 Sep 08, 5:38 AM Monti1342 US(TX), 3 mths£ I have seen many posts both Dom and sub regarding the misuse of power by Masters/Mistresses. I would really like to here opinions on those who have problems with the Domineering attitude of those in control as to the more disciplined attitudes of us Dominating. What are you frequent problems and concerns? Where do they go wrong? I hope to use this as an informational stream for those who think that punishment can be devoid of reward and their subject should just be thankful regardless of any outcome. Master Monti Live, Laugh, Love, then brand them. 26 Sep 08, 2:23 PM wandernlilsoul US(CA), 4 mths  There is a huge difference in domineering vs dominating. Domineering is not an attitude that inspires me to serve or obey. Dominance, in its true form, inspires me to dance thru the fire, and then stop on a dime. 26 Sep 08, 3:10 PM littleonelost CA, 3 mths  wandernlilsoul wrote: There is a huge difference in domineering vs dominating. Domineering is not an attitude that inspires me to serve or obey. Dominance, in its true form, inspires me to dance thru the fire, and then stop on a dime. very well put. 26 Sep 08, 7:07 PM 662-935-655 US, 2 yrs  domineering is what my 2d ex-hubby tried to pretend to be when actually he seemed more like a baby throwing a tantrum and a m-sub in the whips and chains closet - wanting to be whipped, handcuffed, etc. like i was. he seemed to be trying to play a role of what he thought society expected him to be and i hear he still is, living very vanilla and being a very overall nasty person. my late Master/husband was a Dominating man - and could bring me around to do His wishes with a very gentle word most times that i recall - not with a 3 day temper-tantrum like my 2d ex who finally got what he want not because i was surrendering but because i wanted the big lazy oaf to just shut the F up.. HUGE difference, in my mind (GRIN) j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin 26 Sep 08, 7:13 PM property_of_MacCain US(PA), 8 mths  662-935-655 wrote: - not with a 3 day temper-tantrum like my 2d ex who finally got what he want not because i was surrendering but because i wanted the big lazy oaf to just shut the F up.. HUGE difference, in my mind (GRIN) Wow! i didn't realise we had the same ex-husband! LMAO! p I breathe because He allows me to, indulging Him indulges me. 30 Sep 08, 11:53 PM Miss_Becky 3 mths  Domineering: –adjective inclined to rule arbitrarily or despotically; overbearing; tyrannical —Synonyms arrogant; despotic, oppressive Dominant: –adjective 1. ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence: dominant in the chain of command. 2. occupying or being in a commanding or elevated position —Synonyms 1. prevailing, principal. Dominant, predominant, paramount, preeminent describe something outstanding. Dominant describes something that is most influential or important To me it seems that domineering is simply expecting/ getting one's way, regardless of the possible consequences to oneself or to any others who may be involved, while to be dominant (or to be a Dom) means the ability to control a situation/ person whilst being caring and concerned about the possible consequences. To be dominant carries greater responsiblity than to be domineering. There is more ego or arrogance in a person who is meerly the domineering type. I personally do not think that being domineering qualifies one to be a very good Dominant/ Master. The two are not one and the same. The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination. 1 Oct 08, 4:23 PM 691-475-658 UK, 5 mths  Miss_Becky wrote: To me it seems that domineering is simply expecting/ getting one's way, regardless of the possible consequences to oneself or to any others who may be involved, while to be dominant (or to be a Dom) means the ability to control a situation/ person whilst being caring and concerned about the possible consequences. To be dominant carries greater responsiblity than to be domineering. There is more ego or arrogance in a person who is meerly the domineering type. I personally do not think that being domineering qualifies one to be a very good Dominant/ Master. The two are not one and the same. Beautifully put. My ex husband was completely domineering to the point of cutting off his nose to spite... etc... the family fell apart because you can't reason/rationalise with someone who has to be right for the sake of being right. Obviously this wasn't the only reason we're no longer together... he also had a huge ego and was so arrogant people stared at him speechless with what was said/done. The relationship I'm in now is D/s - and in no way is M domineering. He is controlling/dominant with the intent of getting the best out of situations and people... and even then only where necessary/required. Dominating is an undercurrent authority which doesn't need to be rammed down people's faces... Domineering is crass bullying to a certain extent. Dominating is sympathetic to people's peoples, emotions and circumstances. Domineering just rides over rough-shod over everything. Obviously just my take on it... Lorii 1 Oct 08, 4:25 PM Red_Spark UK, 22 mths  Miss_Becky wrote: Domineering: –adjective inclined to rule arbitrarily or despotically; overbearing; tyrannical —Synonyms arrogant; despotic, oppressive "Arbitrarily" isn't a very good or productive way to rule, and not likely to achieve the desired results, whether it's in an M/s relationship, the work place or the presidency! "Arrogant" implies the person is very 'me'-focused which again is antithetical to M/s, as M/s involves a great deal of paying attention to the other person in order to know as much about them as possible. Knowledge, after all, is power. "Oppressive" also does not tally with a Dominant, who is more likely to be encouraging her/his sub/slave to spread out their wings, love and enjoy life and be the best they can possibly be - one who oppresses is trying to keep the other person down and is likely very insecure. 1 Oct 08, 5:00 PM 691-475-658 UK, 5 mths  Red_Spark wrote: Miss_Becky wrote: "Oppressive" also does not tally with a Dominant, who is more likely to be encouraging her/his sub/slave to spread out their wings, love and enjoy life and be the best they can possibly be - one who oppresses is trying to keep the other person down and is likely very insecure. You've managed to say in one paragraph what I was trying to say in my whole post Oppressive covers domineering perfectly. Nurturing covers Dominating... ? Lorii 8 Oct 08, 9:05 AM Monti1342 US(TX), 3 mths£ Thank you slaves. I particularily liked the response on Mistress Becky. I have heard too many times of the harsh hand of our Dom/Domme's who think that our world revolves around them, not our Sub's. I want you and them to realize that WE are hear for you. We complete you as you complete Us. Without our symbiotic relationship, we find ourselves stranded alone. Those of us who truly desire to engulf themselves in our lifestyle find our greatest accomplishments defined by the actions and accomplishments of our pets. Our sub's fulfill our needs and desire as we complete yours. I am just trying to remind our self-rightous comrades of their lack of discipline. You can not train another unless you are trained by yourself. -Master Monti Live, Laugh, Love, then brand them. 8 Oct 08, 12:34 PM property_of_MacCain US(PA), 8 mths  Monti1342 wrote: Thank you slaves. I particularily liked the response on Mistress Becky. I have heard too many times of the harsh hand of our Dom/Domme's who think that our world revolves around them, not our Sub's. I want you and them to realize that WE are hear for you. We complete you as you complete Us. Without our symbiotic relationship, we find ourselves stranded alone. Those of us who truly desire to engulf themselves in our lifestyle find our greatest accomplishments defined by the actions and accomplishments of our pets. Our sub's fulfill our needs and desire as we complete yours. I am just trying to remind our self-rightous comrades of their lack of discipline. You can not train another unless you are trained by yourself. -Master Monti Master Monti, i'd like to take a moment to refer you to the board etiquette thread. It seems you need a brief course on what is acceptable behavior. Please pay particular attention to page 4, in which it covers the bit about not referring to ANYONE as a "slave" unless it is you that own the individual. Also, please don't speak for the rest of the Dom/Domme community... they do a fine job of speaking for themselves. Lastly, please refer to the last sentence in your post...you give good advice, but you should take it as well. ~~edited to add: Please also read the bit about the pound sign... i'm not sure if you really intend to suggest you get paid for your special brand of Dom-ing. Happy posting, p I breathe because He allows me to, indulging Him indulges me. Edited 8 Oct 08, 12:42 PM by property_of_MacCain Next page